# The Fortunately/Unfortunately Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419 "2003-11-15T13:21:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![RCracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RCracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RCracer)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/61 "2003-11-17T17:28:18Z")
Fortunately my parents turn on my computer for me so I don’t need to remember that, and I am able to understand **every** other word in the book. ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/62 "2003-11-17T17:30:54Z")
unfortunately your computer gets a virus ([SH} is the blaster still circulating i know it failed in its attempts to mess up the windows up date but…[/sh]) so you cant use it ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/63 "2003-11-17T17:33:41Z")
Unfortunately, you’re in the middle of a massive blackout and can neither turn your computer on _or_ see the words in your idiot book. ---
**Author:** ![RCracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RCracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RCracer)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/64 "2003-11-17T17:43:34Z")
Unfortunately I memorised every word in the book so I no longer need to read it. As for the blackout and the virus…my dad buys me the latest solar-powered supercomputer with all that money I inherited from my great-grandmother and the money I earned selling the three baby golden goats, so it doesn’t matter about the blackout and it doesn’t matter about my old virus-infected computer. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/65 "2003-11-17T20:09:03Z")
Unfortunately, at that exact moment, there is a total eclipse of the sun, sucking up all your solar power. ---
**Author:** ![RCracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RCracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RCracer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/66 "2003-11-19T19:23:36Z")
Fortunately the eclipse only lasts for a few minutes as it was caused by a very large meteorite passing the sun that just missed the Earth, so sunlight is restored. Besides, if there was a total eclipse, we’d all be dead thanks to **norinew**. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/67 "2003-11-19T19:58:56Z")
Unfortunately, **RCRacer’s** clones who **cannot** be killed actually wanted everyone else killed, so they could have the planet to themselves; since the eclipse thing didn’t work, they set out to hatch an evil plot to kill everyone else by other, more painful means. ---
**Author:** ![RCracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RCracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RCracer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/68 "2003-11-19T20:31:27Z")
Uuh, I thought we’d cleared up the whole immortal clone thing, fortunately enough. There are no more clones or dead souls or things like that. Unless others want there to be clones and dead souls and so on. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/69 "2003-11-19T21:59:50Z")
Unfortunately there **ARE** more… LOTS more! ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/70 "2003-11-19T22:05:22Z")
Fortunately they (the clones) develop a taste for Immortal Clone ™… and solve that problem on their own ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/71 "2003-11-19T22:28:14Z")
Unfortunately, the Immortal Clones™ hold the key to the salvation of the planet, and without them, we are all toast. ---
**Author:** ![RCracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RCracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RCracer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/72 "2003-11-20T11:05:39Z")
Fortunately, sseing that the Immortal Clones™ started eating each other there was still one remaining immortal clone (after all he’s hardly going to eat himself), and so now we don’t need to worry about being toast. ---
**Author:** ![Gmork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Gmork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gmork)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/73 "2003-11-20T12:28:40Z")
Unfortunately, we do all need to start worrying about being toast. The Lord-High-Toastifyer reigns once more from the mountaintop, and not even the frostiest of us can resist his fiery touch. In but a single, terrifying instant he can transform any living being into slightly singed piece of bread with a delicious coating of melted butter. And jam. ---
**Author:** ![RCracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RCracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RCracer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/74 "2003-11-20T17:30:32Z")
Fortunately there is hope in the form of my immortal clone who is turned into a piece of toast, apread with a delicious coating of melting butter, and jam, and is then eaten by Lord-High-Toastifyer. Seconds later Lord-High-Toastifyer dies of food-poisoning, falls of his mountain top, and is impaled on the jagged rocks below, oh well. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/75 "2003-11-21T04:52:35Z")
Unfortunately, **ETF** just happens to wander by this thread as the Lord-HighToastifyer plummets to the jagged rocks. Well, it’s fortunate for the L-H-T, since **ETF** grabs **RCracer** and flings him under the toppling Toastmeister, breaking his fall. Not so fortunate for **RCracer** , and definitely unfortunate for **BigDaiv** , who slips on a spatter of butter, then slides on the jam over a handy cliff edge. Fortunately, **Horseflesh** happens to be grazing in the meadow below, so **BigDaiv** lands on him and isn’t seriously injured. Unfortunately, **Horseflesh** is so startled that he bucks, whirls, and kicks **Gmork** right in the breadbasket. Fortunately, **norinew** is nearby and rushes over to hold **Gmork’s** head as s/he loses his/her lunch. Unfortunately, the blown lunch spatters all over **verbenabeast** , who becomes so outraged as to charge **ETF** , who has been puttering down the mountainside, utterly unaware of the havoc she’d unleashed. Fortunately, **ETF** has claws and knows how to use them, so is able to defend herself against **verbenabeast**. Unfortunately, now that the excessively verbose **ETF** has discovered the “Fortunately/Unfortunately” thread, it grows so large so quickly that the mods decide it must die. Furtunately, at this point **ETF** is bonked over the head by desperate Dopers and dragged into a dark corner. ---
**Author:** ![RCracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RCracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RCracer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/76 "2003-11-21T11:08:40Z")
Unfortunately seeing that I went and broke Lord-High-Toastifyer’s fall, he continues to turn everyone into pieces of toast with melted butter and jam, including **EddyTeddyFreddy**. Fortunately, **RCracer, BigDaiv, Gmork** and **verbenabeast** all survive and fight back, defeating Lord-High-Toastifyer by pulling out his plug. ---
**Author:** ![Gmork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Gmork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gmork)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/77 "2003-11-21T12:22:39Z")
Unfortunately **EddyTeddyFreddy** was running remotely from the power generated by Lord-High-Toastifyer, who the team of **RCracer, BigDaiv, Gmork** and **verbenabeast** had just unplugged. **EddyTeddyFreddy** sees a Blue Screen Of Death flash before her eyes, just before falling powerless to the ground. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/78 "2003-11-21T13:37:15Z")
AHA! Fortunately **ETF** has a backup battery, which quickly revives her. She staggers to the plug for her Ultra-Mega-Heavy-DutyGeneratoMax™ and powers back up. Refreshed and Eveready™ for anything, **ETF** sets out in search of those dastardly scoundrels who have tried to remove her from CyberWorld™ – they will pay for their evil deeds! ---
**Author:** ![Gmork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Gmork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gmork)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/79 "2003-11-21T15:00:10Z")
Unfortunately, **RCracer, BigDaiv, Gmork** and **verbenabeast** , the aforementioned dastardly scoundrels - are morally and spiritually broke and hence cannot ‘pay’ for their evil deeds. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/80 "2003-11-21T16:45:15Z")
Fortunately, **ETF** has developed a new extraction technique which is capable of obtaining blood from stones. Armed with her Model 1.0 Exsanguinator™ **ETF** sets out in search of the miscreant crew. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419.md?page=5)