# The Fortunately/Unfortunately Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419 "2003-11-15T13:21:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/81 "2003-11-21T17:47:26Z")
unfortunately the aforementioned dastardly scoundrels write a haiku so apologetic that **ETF** lets them off and they get away scott free ---
**Author:** ![Gmork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Gmork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gmork)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/82 "2003-11-22T01:42:25Z")
> [@](#): > > a haiku so apologetic (lol **BigDaiv** ) Unfortunately - they are not as Scott-free as they thought. Scott, one of the most irritating people known to science, has appeared from behind a rock, and joined the once-merry poetic party in their travels. Despite their best efforts (poetic and otherwise) to rid themselves of him, Scott hangs around like a bad smell. And whats more - he _does_ smell bad - rather overpowering the nice smell of fresh toast they had previously been enjoying as they left the land-of-cliffs-and-jagged-rocks and set out in search of fresh adventure. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/83 "2003-11-22T02:42:53Z")
Fortunately, our merry band of adventurers set out into a strong headwind, which blows away the overpowering Scott-stench. Foiled in his efforts to harass and dismay them, Scott slinks away in search of **Horseflesh** , cleverly disguised as a deerfly. Meanwhile, **Gmork, BigDaiv, RCracer, norinew, and verbenabeast** patch up their differences with **EddyTeddyFreddy**. (The fact that **ETF** has a ten-pound box of Godiva chocolates may have had something to do with the sudden burst of amity.) ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/84 "2003-11-22T05:12:18Z")
Unfortunately, they can’t tell which ones are the caramels and which ones are the creme filled ones, and which ones have that disgusting fake fruity filling that causes **RCracer** to become violently ill. ---
**Author:** ![Gmork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Gmork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gmork)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/85 "2003-11-22T06:11:01Z")
Fortunately **Diceman** has a built-in Filling-Detect-O-Matic in his lower spleen. When the tasty-treats (or not) are placed on **Diceman** ’s head, he emits a series of special noises and flails his arms wildly. If the noises are of a low pitch, the treat is tasty. If they are high pitched, the treat will cause **RCracer** to vent his breakfast everywhere. In this method our sweet-toothed companions sort the tasty from the terrible - and there is much rejoicing. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/86 "2003-11-22T13:27:45Z")
Unfortunately, although no one (not even RCRacer himself) knew it, RCRacer is diabetic, and after consuming 27 tasty chocolates, goes into diabetic shock. ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/87 "2003-11-22T17:00:59Z")
fortunately one of the merry band had a copious amount of insulin and was able to save **RCracer** ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/88 "2003-11-22T21:08:05Z")
Unfortunately, once **RCracer** is revived, s/he grabs the remaining chocolates and hurls them into a handy pit of bubbling lava so as not to be tempted any more. There is much wailing and gnashing of now-sugarless teeth. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/89 "2003-11-22T21:30:56Z")
Fortunately, **norinew** is savvy enough to immediately employ the marketing genius of one Adrian Wapkaplett, who brilliantly assists her in establishing a market for lava-covered chocolates, making her and most of her friends over-night gazillionaires. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/90 "2003-11-22T22:38:20Z")
Unfortunately, **norinew** doesn’t include our little band of adventurers among her suddenly wealthy friends. So off they set, into Terra Incognita, a/k/a Wherethehellarewe, searching for love, adventure, and a really good cup of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Gmork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Gmork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gmork)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/91 "2003-11-23T00:27:28Z")
Fortunately, **Gmork** ’s appreciation of **norinew** ’s Monty Python references is so great that she is wired a small sum every week from the Department of Recognition (newly created), which is enough to keep her and the merry band in icy-poles and sandwiches on their adventures. And a daily cup of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/92 "2003-11-23T03:09:07Z")
Unfortunately, the cup of coffee is just that. A cup. One. To be shared out among the whole band. The resulting friction and snarliness in the morning threatens to break up the group before it can get more than a day’s march into the Forest of Forgotten Toothpicks. ---
**Author:** ![Gmork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Gmork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gmork)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/93 "2003-11-23T08:17:48Z")
Fortunately, **Gmork** doesn’t drink coffee and manages to stay out of the whole argument, leaving her in a perfect position to negotiate peace within the group. And to negotiate a larger supply of coffee. Unfortunately The Forest of Forgotten Toothpicks, being a place of eerie silence and generally intimidating in it’s sheer size, leaves everyone with the permanent creeps. None of them can sleep in the Forest at night and are thus weakened. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/94 "2003-11-23T12:41:18Z")
Fortunately, **norinew** (Our Little Heroine Of The Moment) once again engages the help of our dear Mr. Wapkaplet, and convinces the public that these Forgotten Toothpicks are the _de rigeur_ way to serve their Lava-Coated Chocolates for all of theri holiday parties. The additional wealth is shared out equally between **norinew, Gmork, ETF** and the rest of the band of travellers. Hence, everyone can afford all the coffee they want, and much rejoicing ensues. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/95 "2003-11-23T13:49:58Z")
Unfortunately, while the rejoicing ensues, one of the light-hearted partyers carelessly drops the map to the Treasure of Sierra Mommy into the campfire. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/96 "2003-11-23T15:52:37Z")
Fortunately, **Gmork** , brain perking with plenty of good-quality coffee had had the insight to coat the treasure map with Fast-Drying Kompletely Kleer Asbestos Koating™. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/97 "2003-11-23T19:46:52Z")
Unfortunately, the map is confiscated as hazardous waste by the EPA. The merry band of adventurers barely avoid a massive fine for pollution violations. Fortunately, the map to the Treasure of Sierra Padre survives the party (other than a few wine stains), and Our Heroes (and Heroines) set out, away from the Forest of Forgotten Toothpicks, across the undulating grasslands of the Plains of Ogramorg. ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/98 "2003-11-23T19:49:42Z")
unfortunately on the plains of Ogrmorg three giant ginger cats attack them and steal the treasure map ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/99 "2003-11-23T19:59:57Z")
Fortunately, our quick-witted heroine **ETF** manages to distract the fearsome orange threesome with [food](http://community.webshots.com/photo/782975/784357) just long enough for **BigDaiv** to rush in and courageously snatch back the map. Unfortunately, while one of the tigerish terrors remains sidetracked in his [quest for more goodies](http://community.webshots.com/photo/782975/784358), the other two roar with rage and pursue the fleeing map-rescuer. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/100 "2003-11-24T00:13:22Z")
Fortunately, **Diceman** is a “cat person,” and knows how to pet the two giant cats in just right way, turning them into docile and loving pets. Unfortunately, one of them barfs up a hairball onto **ETF** and the map. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419.md?page=6)