# ...The fuck, Ecmandu? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182 "2014-07-15T17:15:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/81 "2014-07-16T10:49:55Z")
> [@Askthepizzaguy](#): > > A) Your initial goal should be to find a compatible woman who would enjoy \*spending time \*with you. I think I’d take it a few steps further back: Stop hating/obsessing over yourself. Try to find a way to like yourself as a person. Try not to cultivate or embed the habits that make other people want to get away from you. Forget sex as a goal of any of this. (within persistent relationship contexts) Sex is what people _who are already close do to get closer_. If your plan ends with “…and then she’ll have sex with me”, no matter how nicely it starts, you’re still doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/82 "2014-07-16T11:57:48Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Forget sex as a goal of any of this. > [@](#): > > If your plan ends with “…and then she’ll have sex with me”, no matter how nicely it starts, you’re still doing it wrong. But is sex Ecmandu’s goal? If we take him seriously, then he believes it’s mind-bogglingly easy to get sex; you just make some loud engine sounds and bad-mouth women: _“The kind of guys who really get laid are the ones who shit on women by calling them stupid worthless whores… often behind their backs… often straight to their faces. Sometimes the nice guys tattle on these men, by saying that these men call them stupid worthless whores, and even worse… and the women have an interesting way of dealing with this tattling… they tell those men, those men treat the tattler as a betrayer and women have sex with the bullies instead of the guys who try to set them straight.”_ If he believed that, and wanted sex, wouldn’t he just stop trying to set them straight? Wouldn’t he just call them “stupid worthless whores” and watch the sex ensue? Wouldn’t he “really get laid” whenever he felt like it? Take a good look at the last page of that thread: he quotes himself saying all of the above, adds that _“One of the easiest ways to spot an asshole is to spot a wedding ring”_, and concludes with a brisk _“The number of people who participate in this system is literally about 7 billion… complete and utter psychopaths.”_ If we take him at his word, he seems to believe that (a) it’s astonishingly easy for men in general to get sex, and (b) there’s no reason to think Ecmandu in particular can’t likewise swap out Nice-Guy Tattling for What Literally Billions Of Folks Prefer. He just doesn’t _wanna,_ is all. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/83 "2014-07-16T12:13:22Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > But is sex Ecmandu’s goal? It seems to be, but who can tell? However, I think sex as a goal is, for many people, a recipe for consistent failure. A better goal would be to become a functional, social human being. Sex often occurs to this category as a side effect (but the goal ‘become a functional social human being, so then women will have sex with me’ would again be doomed to failure). ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/84 "2014-07-16T12:19:17Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > If he believed that, and wanted sex, wouldn’t he just stop trying to set them straight? Wouldn’t he just call them “stupid worthless whores” and watch the sex ensue? Wouldn’t he “really get laid” whenever he felt like it? > > Take a good look at the last page of that thread: he quotes himself saying all of the above, adds that _“One of the easiest ways to spot an asshole is to spot a wedding ring”_, and concludes with a brisk _“The number of people who participate in this system is literally about 7 billion… complete and utter psychopaths.”_ > > If we take him at his word, he seems to believe that (a) it’s astonishingly easy for men in general to get sex, and (b) there’s no reason to think Ecmandu in particular can’t likewise swap out Nice-Guy Tattling for What Literally Billions Of Folks Prefer. > > He just doesn’t _wanna,_ is all. Oh, I see what you mean now. Dunno. I don’t think he wants to change himself - he wants the system to reorganise itself so that _nice guys like him_ get regular sex as a commodity, just for being there. ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_Elliot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jane_elliot/32/6166_2.png) [@Jane\_Elliot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_Elliot)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/85 "2014-07-16T13:47:15Z")
This is the kind of guy who (according to his diatribes on other boards) doesn’t even believe that women are sentient. But he still wants to fuck them. I’m getting squicked out just thinking about that. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/86 "2014-07-16T13:55:44Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > But is sex Ecmandu’s goal? > > If we take him seriously, then he believes it’s mind-bogglingly easy to get sex; you just make some loud engine sounds and bad-mouth women: The Men’s Rights movement is utterly incoherent and inconsistent. There is no logic. There is no reason. There is only anger, and a desire to make EVERYTHING someone else’s fault. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/87 "2014-07-16T14:03:39Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > But is sex Ecmandu’s goal? > > If we take him seriously, then he believes it’s mind-bogglingly easy to get sex; you just make some loud engine sounds and bad-mouth women. Please, some Doper go to a bar, approach a woman and just say “Vroom vroom, bitch!” and see how things progress. We might’ve just revolutionized the dating experience! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/88 "2014-07-16T15:29:24Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Let me guess: we all put on a musical together and you make the costumes? Dude, no one wants to do a musical with you. You’ve got to stop suggesting it. But then how will we save the Rec Center? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/89 "2014-07-16T15:33:26Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > The Men’s Rights movement is utterly incoherent and inconsistent. There is no logic. There is no reason. There is only anger, and a desire to make EVERYTHING someone else’s fault. Oh, so you’ve _met_ humanity. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/90 "2014-07-16T16:05:39Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > It seems to be, but who can tell? > > However, I think sex as a goal is, for many people, a recipe for consistent failure. Indeed. If my young\_adult life experience is any indication, if you give up on the very notion of having sex **ever** and just get on with your life, sex eventually just happens. Quite a bit of it, to be honest. Life’s very koan that way. The Game that can be spoken of is not the true Game, something like that. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/91 "2014-07-16T16:13:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Are ‘suicidality’ and ‘suicidology’ actually real words? Yes, but they don’t mean what they’re used to mean in this poster’s writing. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/92 "2014-07-16T17:01:30Z")
> [@Calatin](#): > > Please, some Doper go to a bar, approach a woman and just say “Vroom vroom, bitch!” and see how things progress. I _SO_ know what I’m doing tonight! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/93 "2014-07-16T17:04:46Z")
> [@Astroboy14](#): > > I _SO_ know what I’m doing tonight! Waking up in an ally behind the bar? ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/94 "2014-07-16T17:31:32Z")
Ecmandu reminds me of Kat Hat Sung. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/95 "2014-07-16T17:33:57Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Waking up in an ally behind the bar? No, that’s what I do every night… ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/96 "2014-07-16T18:20:33Z")
> [@Calatin](#): > > Please, some Doper go to a bar, approach a woman and just say “Vroom vroom, bitch!” and see how things progress. > > We might’ve just revolutionized the dating experience! 🆒 It’s a numbers game. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/97 "2014-07-16T19:02:42Z")
In a way it reminds me of reading Playboy as an impressionable youth back in the wild and wooly days of the 1970s. I was convinced that if I dressed like that, ordered those drinks, and told these jokes then the pretty girls would be all over me. It never seemed to work, but the next month I would learn that it is because I had been listening to the wrong music on the wrong stereo system and wore my hair the wrong way. There was always one simple trick that I needed to learn or use which kept eluding me, and left me sitting alone at the end of the bar with a drink I didn’t like and clothes that looked funny. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/98 "2014-07-16T19:19:11Z")
You know, maybe being called old and wrinkly isn’t the worst thing that you could be called. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/99 "2014-07-16T23:45:32Z")
> [@susan](#): > > That’s just your suicidality talking, but it’s SOOOO HOT. Hey, baby, how about we go around back and I kill myself right in front of you? If it makes you hotter, I could kill you, too! Um, but not in that order. I tried it that way in a previous life and not only did she not die, but I came back as a cute, little chipmunk and got eaten by a hawk when I was two months old. > [@DrFidelius](#): > > In a way it reminds me of reading Playboy as an impressionable youth back in the wild and **wooly** days of the 1970s. Yes, the women were wooly back then. I miss that. > [@](#): > > There was always one simple trick that I needed to learn or use which kept eluding me, and left me sitting alone at the end of the bar with a drink I didn’t like and clothes that looked funny. That trick was subscribing. You didn’t, so you got the next issue two weeks late. Two weeks was a generation back then. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182/100 "2014-07-16T23:57:13Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Yes, the women were wooly back then. I miss that. Ditto. Thank god for Abby Winters, and that she was willing to do an “Ask the Pornographer” thread for us BITD. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck-ecmandu/693182.md?page=6)