# the FUCK?! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024 "2012-06-23T04:04:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/1 "2012-06-23T04:04:53Z")
_ **I DIED?!** _ Count me in as one of the people who’d be _ **real** _ fuckin’ interested in those wake details, since a corpse-less funeral should be pretty fuckin’ strange. Ditto that fuckin’ obituary. **NotOkay** –You sick fuck. What you just did is so fucking disturbing. I know we’re not supposed to accuse people of being trolls on this forum, but I beg special circumstances, Mods. Plus, this isn’t an accusation; it’s a **FACT**. This motherfucker is **NOT** my brother, and that was such a gross violation of forum rules, not to mention moral decency, I hope you’ll immediately ban this user (not that that will necessarily stop the fucker from popping back up with some other sn, masquerading as a normal human being…). **All** : As fucking upsetting as it was to log in and read the board for the first time in a week and see some shithead griefing you all in such a disgusting way, the words you all said were jaw-dropping and extremely touching. I’m horrified and completely mortified that your profound goodness was exploited on my account by a fucking slug of a human being. I’ll fill anyone in who wants to know what I’ve been up to this week, which has been a whole lot of medical bullshit and out of town travel to see specialists and FINALLY a diagnosis of gastric ulcers, on my other thread. That is, if I can pull off a double resurrection–one for **me** , one for my **thread**. To that end, Mods–Can you reopen my thread? You wouldn’t want to make the girl who can’t use her arms have to copy and paste everything in it to another thread, would you? 😉 And if it needs to be said, I am a-okay, y’all! The AD riddle has been solved and I’m feeling right as rain. …Or did you think a fuckin’ tummyache could really take me out? Please. I survived a fuckin’ _ **broken neck** _. **FTS INLIKMD!** 😛 [My blinding rage pressed me to ditch my usual expletive self-censoring for this post. Sorry if your children are reading…but why aren’t they in bed anyway??]. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/2 "2012-06-23T04:08:24Z")
Umkay?!?! Is it really you?! How hard of a hug can a quad handle?! Really?! Yay!!! ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/3 "2012-06-23T04:08:27Z")
Whoa ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/4 "2012-06-23T04:09:46Z")
OMG OMG OMG!!! Double yoo Tee eff! Holy cow dude. Am I glad to see you!!! You have no idea!! ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/5 "2012-06-23T04:10:37Z")
Holy shit. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/6 "2012-06-23T04:10:39Z")
The plot thickens. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/7 "2012-06-23T04:11:10Z")
WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/8 "2012-06-23T04:11:37Z")
I thought the whole thing smelled a little fishy, but I didn’t want to barge into the thread and start saying stuff (just in case it WAS true, I didn’t want to be “that heartless cynical bitch”) but anyway… Glad you’re alive, girl! ---
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/9 "2012-06-23T04:12:42Z")
Yay!!! yay! Yay! Yay! I’m so happy!!! Yay!!! Everyone else can be mad at **Notokay**. I’m just happy. I’m so happy. It’s not true!!! Yay!!! Seriously, I am so happy right now. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/10 "2012-06-23T04:13:28Z")
Does this mean the wake is called off? ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/11 "2012-06-23T04:16:23Z")
It’s me!!! I can absolutely verify that I am alive and ki–well, not “kicking,” but you get the idea. 😃 So fuckin’ sorry for that awful asshole. You all should know, IF my brothers knew about this thread (which they don’t–you think I want them reading about my **orgasms**??), not one of them would choose such a dumb sn. I can pretty much guarantee my brothers would bear the news under a moniker like **Monster Destroyer** or something. And they wouldn’t say this forum was “a joy” in my “last days.” WTF? Are they 80?? No, they’d say “Take a shot for **umkay** ; she’s out!” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/12 "2012-06-23T04:16:37Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Does this mean the wake is called off? What do I do with all this pie I was going to bring? ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/13 "2012-06-23T04:18:33Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Does this mean the wake is called off? Good question. Could be kinda fun. And I could hear more about how awesome I am. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/14 "2012-06-23T04:18:51Z")
Do you like Mark Twain by any chance? ---
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/15 "2012-06-23T04:19:28Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > And they wouldn’t say this forum was “a joy” in my “last days.” WTF? Are they 80?? No, they’d say “Take a shot for **umkay** ; she’s out!” 😉 **umkay** , this is why we love you. Sigh. I have to admit that I was nervous about your brothers knowing about this thread. I was thinking…yikes, I hope they skip some parts… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/16 "2012-06-23T04:21:38Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Do you like Mark Twain by any chance? If by that you mean, do I feel a little bit like Tom Sawyer right now? Yes. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/17 "2012-06-23T04:23:06Z")
I didn’t even have a chance to post in the death thread! :o Umm…welcome back! (Glad you’re OK!) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/18 "2012-06-23T04:23:35Z")
I am glad to hear that the rumors of your death have been greatly exaggerated. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/19 "2012-06-23T04:24:08Z")
She’s ALIIIIIVE! ---
**Author:** ![Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/do_not_taunt/32/2968_2.png) [@Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Do_Not_Taunt)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024/20 "2012-06-23T04:24:32Z")
I’m takin’ a shot for **umkay**. She’s in! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fuck/626024.md?page=2)