# The fucking cookie exchange **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 20, 2006, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861 "2006-12-20T02:08:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/1 "2006-12-20T02:08:08Z")
We had a cookie exchange at work today. I posted in Cafe Society asking for recipes, because I thought I needed to bring six dozen, and I was looking for a good, high yield bar cookie recipe. Anywhistle, turns out I only needed three dozen, so I made a tried-and-true family recipe (which, ironically, came from a cookie exchange) that includes a stick and a half butter – what’s not to like? Now, my mom was a cookie baker par excellence and actually adopted this recipe as part of her repertoire. Her cookie plates were works of art, aesthetically and gustatorially. Christmas cookies need to be special, not your everyday schlock. So what do I get in return for having brought these delectable “I only bake them once a year” treats? One person admitted to buying cookies from a bakery. Brownies made from a boxed mix were the distinct low point. One notch above them were frosted sugar cookie cut-outs, and if the sugar cookies weren’t made from a mix, the frosting definitely came from a can. There were the ubiquitous peanut butter things with the Hershey Kiss in the middle. Those might be good for the brief time when, just out of the oven, the Hershey Kiss is soft, but otherwise…big lump of hard chocolate on a peanut butter cookie. Bleh. Then we’ve got your “I only bake cookies once a year” types, so the cookies are misshapen lumps that are too brown on the bottom. I haven’t tasted them, but I’m sure they contain maragine or Crisco rather than butter. (Yeah, I know. You can’t substitute butter for margarine without knowing the role it plays in the recipe. But if a recipe calls for either and you choose margarine rather than butter because you can’t tell the difference and margarine is cheaper… :rolleyes: ) I don’t know if this belongs in IMHO or CS. Mods, move wherever you think is appropriate. And for your attention, could I offer you a nice brownie? ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/2 "2006-12-20T02:13:00Z")
We didn’t have our cookie exchange this year. Which means I didn’t get a tin of my co-worker’s amazing estonian pepper cookies. Le SIGH. But I have to admit I always baked my little fingers off for the exchange and aside from her efforts and one co-worker’s wife’s efforts, the results were much as you described, so I guess it’s no big loss. Damn I loved those pepper cookies. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/3 "2006-12-20T02:19:14Z")
Last year, my mother and I baked Lindsor window cookies(I think that’s what they are called). You make cookies, then you make some with cutouts in them, bake them, put some jam inbetween and sprinkle with powdered sugar. We got back chocolate peanut butter bars (tasty, but not fancy or time consuming), “surprise” cookies that were decorated like packages with Andes mints in the middle (Odd, but within the range of acceptability), and Haystack cookies–you know, heat chocolate on stove, add chow main noodles and peanuts? (Tasty, but we’re back to the not fancy or time consuming). I was kind of annoyed. Here we spent all morning baking, and another half day decorating, and we got stuff we could have fixed ourselves, if we’d wanted to. Although, we shouldn’t gripe too much, the year before we really outdid ourselves, and got other stuff of little effort. and if it makes my mother happy to be the overachiever in the bunch, I don’t mind helping bake/make fancy cookies. But I’m not always convinced that the cookies she gets back are worth the effort of bringing them home. Especially at Christmas time when we’ve got other stuff around. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/4 "2006-12-20T02:21:55Z")
This is exactly why I never do Secret Santa, gift exchanges, cookie exhanges and the like. I would always put a good amount of effort into it and I’d get shit in return. I know that’s not the point of gift exchanges but still, it gets disheartening to be disappointed every year and have to pretend that you’re not. Idlewild, why not propose a private cookie exchange with the co-worker? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/5 "2006-12-20T02:23:15Z")
This is so many shades of wrong I can’t even comment in a way that’s appropriate for this forum. I mean, dissing cookies _you didn’t even bother to taste_ because you’re “sure” they aren’t made as you think they should be made? Merry freakin’ Christmas. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tabula\_Rasa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@Tabula\_Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabula_Rasa)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/6 "2006-12-20T02:41:23Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] This is so many shades of wrong I can’t even comment in a way that’s appropriate for this forum. I mean, dissing cookies _you didn’t even bother to taste_ because you’re “sure” they aren’t made as you think they should be made? Merry freakin’ Christmas. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] And merry Christmas to you, too. May I offer you a chocolate chow mein surprise, in the spirit of the season? Tabby ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/7 "2006-12-20T02:54:36Z")
I agree on these people that expect to get homemade cookies for ones they purchased. It’s not like they bought something from a german desert shop or equivalent. The person that makes stuff with margerine can keep the stuff, because it’s going to taste terrible. I’ve worked with three people I’d want to exchange with, but like me they end up bringing in cookie trays anyhow. I can stop at their house and they’ll feed me cookies while I visit. I haven’t seen their pug for a couple years now. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/8 "2006-12-20T03:35:57Z")
That sux. Next time, set some ground rules. Weed out the amateurs. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/9 "2006-12-20T03:39:23Z")
[QUOTE=freckafree] So what do I get in return for having brought these delectable “I only bake them once a year” treats? One person admitted to buying cookies from a bakery. Brownies made from a boxed mix were the distinct low point. One notch above them were frosted sugar cookie cut-outs, and if the sugar cookies weren’t made from a mix, the frosting definitely came from a can. [/QUOTE] This problem comes with being the best baker in your group. What you need to do is find something that everyone else does better than you and have an exchange of that thing. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/10 "2006-12-20T04:01:31Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] This is so many shades of wrong I can’t even comment in a way that’s appropriate for this forum. I mean, dissing cookies _you didn’t even bother to taste_ because you’re “sure” they aren’t made as you think they should be made? Merry freakin’ Christmas. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] I’m with you. Not everyone is that great of a cook. Cookies can be a lot of work-especially the fancy ones a lot of you seem to expect. Maybe the “simple, unexciting” ones are their best recipes. Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/11 "2006-12-20T06:25:38Z")
I made a ton of cookies for a Make-a-Wish fundraiser, a concert reception, a funeral, a ladies’ tea, and just to bake, and this is the list of what I made: Nut Tarts (with pecan filling) Russian Teacakes Sugar Cookies (with sprinkles) Spritz (basic white and then green trees) Cardomom Crisps (topped with sliced almonds) Gingerbread Men (Large and tiny…the large get decorated) Cream Cheese Walnut cookies (slice and bake, but so good) Lime Coolers (also slice and bake, but triangular and dipped in powdered sugar) Dark Chocolate-Pistachio Trees (partly diped in chocolate and crushed pistachios) Double Chocolate Crackles Chocolate Pecan Crackles Lavender Madelines (yes, the kind of lavender used in sachets) Green Tea shortbread Chai Tea Crescents Orange Spice Tea-scented Biscotti Chocolate Mint cookies (double dipped in dark chocolate and green mint chocolate) Peppernuts (from a recipe it took me 40 years to pry out of a friend’s mother) Almond Shortbread strips And with all these delicacies to choose from, what do you think someone asked me upon receiving their box of 5 dozen assorted cookies? “Did you make any Chocolate Chip cookies?” ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/12 "2006-12-20T06:42:05Z")
I’ve never been in a cookie exchange and can’t cook to save my life. So, if one of these things is mandatory, what do you do then? I know I certainly couldn’t afford to go to some specialized bakery for something fancy and if my husband wasn’t able (probably my only option that could help me out), then I’d definitely end up in the category of "tried her best and hope they at least taste edible. Not to mention, I’ve never even realized to look for differences in margirin and butter when I’ve gone shopping. I understand that’s out there, but it doesn’t cross my mind, even if I tried my hand at baking for something like that. I’d read whatever in the recipe, see its equivalent in the refrigerator and assume it was the same. A faux pas that I’m glad I’ve now learned here instead of elsewhere that I send my non-existent yummies to. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/13 "2006-12-20T07:15:43Z")
[QUOTE=kittenblue] \ And with all these delicacies to choose from, what do you think someone asked me upon receiving their box of 5 dozen assorted cookies? “Did you make any Chocolate Chip cookies?” [/QUOTE] Take the cookies away from the ingrate, and send them this way! I’ll not complain a bit, even if in shipping they are reduced to crumbs! 😉 (The crumbs would get eaten too…) ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/14 "2006-12-20T07:52:33Z")
Yeah, that sort of thing killed the cookie exchange at our church, too. There were five or so people who baked nice cookies, and another dozen who brought commercial. And not even _good_ commercial but the crap you get from a grocery story prepacked in plastic tubs. The really, really annoying thing was that the good bakers were generally the people who also helped out in serving and setting up, which the others raced to be first in line. They would scoop up the home baked cookies to fill up their allotment, so by the time the real bakers got into line all that was left were the store-bought junk. ☹ BTW – no, I don’t feel sorry for the non-bakers. This cookie exchange wasn’t organized at the office or even part of a regular club, so no one was guilted or maneuvered into participating. If cookie baking isn’t your thing, then DON’T join a cookie exchange. Go sing carols with the choir, or wrap packages to raise money for charity, or just stay home and eat your oreos. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/15 "2006-12-20T07:56:00Z")
Do “fucking cookies” count as sexual harassment? Or is it ok so long as they only fuck each other? I’m so glad we don’t do that kind of stuff hereabouts, I can’t bake to save my life. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/16 "2006-12-20T08:01:01Z")
**Nava** , if we could learn the secret of “f\*cking cookies”, methinks we’d never have to bake again in our lifetimes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/17 "2006-12-20T08:53:02Z")
My brother was working at the same company as me a few years ago, and we had “Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea”. Now the ladies all bought in some beautiful home made cakes and biscuits (myself included), but my poor brother couldn’t cook then to save his life. However, he got up at 5am the morning of the event and cooked some pikelets. These things were burnt, lumpy, misshapen and served on a dubious looking plate. (It was clean but odd looking). He arrived at work with his precious gifts exhausted and excited because he could contribute. And do you know what? Everyone loved him for _making the effort_. I still run into people 4 years later from that job and have a laugh about it. C’mon isn’t there a spirit in these things and the secret santa? Not just what you get out of it, but to simply participate for the sake of having fun? Because frankly, even though I can cook, and quite well, I wouldn’t want to participate in an activity where I felt like I was going to be judged or looked down on, for simply trying to get into the spirit of it. ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/18 "2006-12-20T09:32:18Z")
[QUOTE=kittenblue] I made a ton of cookies for a Make-a-Wish fundraiser, a concert reception, a funeral, a ladies’ tea, and just to bake, and this is the list of what I made: Nut Tarts (with pecan filling) Russian Teacakes Sugar Cookies (with sprinkles) Spritz (basic white and then green trees) Cardomom Crisps (topped with sliced almonds) Gingerbread Men (Large and tiny…the large get decorated) Cream Cheese Walnut cookies (slice and bake, but so good) Lime Coolers (also slice and bake, but triangular and dipped in powdered sugar) Dark Chocolate-Pistachio Trees (partly diped in chocolate and crushed pistachios) Double Chocolate Crackles Chocolate Pecan Crackles Lavender Madelines (yes, the kind of lavender used in sachets) Green Tea shortbread Chai Tea Crescents Orange Spice Tea-scented Biscotti Chocolate Mint cookies (double dipped in dark chocolate and green mint chocolate) Peppernuts (from a recipe it took me 40 years to pry out of a friend’s mother) Almond Shortbread strips And with all these delicacies to choose from, what do you think someone asked me upon receiving their box of 5 dozen assorted cookies? “Did you make any Chocolate Chip cookies?” [/QUOTE] Me want some now!!! Chocolate chip cookies?! Are they insane?! I’d be your bestest friend forever for any one of those biscuits (cookies)! Some people make my brain hurt. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/19 "2006-12-20T10:25:17Z")
Well, it is your own damned fault. On your original thread, I suggested making Rum Balls…you could have killed some of your co-workers by adding the (optional) nuts if they were allergic, you could have turned some back into alcoholics by adding more rum, and you could have gotten the entire office blotto by adding even more rum. Geez - some people don’t know how to have fun during the holidays. ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/20 "2006-12-20T10:32:34Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] Idlewild, why not propose a private cookie exchange with the co-worker? [/QUOTE] I think she didn’t make them this year - they’re a big all day production involving multiple bags of flour apparently. Last year she gave me a tin all of my own to take home to Mr. Wild so I really can’t complain (in any serious fashion 😉 ). It’s good being tight with the good cookie baker! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861.md?page=2)