# The fucking cookie exchange **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 20, 2006, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861 "2006-12-20T02:08:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/21 "2006-12-20T13:29:34Z")
[QUOTE=Nava] Do “fucking cookies” count as sexual harassment? Or is it ok so long as they only fuck each other? [/QUOTE] Is it ironic that in order to make fucking cookies, you need to be a Master Baker? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/22 "2006-12-20T13:43:45Z")
I think it depends on the intent and mandatoriness of the exchange. My girlfriends and I do a cookie exchange so that we can then give a nice assortment of cookies to people on our list without each making five (ten, really, because we each make two) different types of cookies. But we chose among our friends carefully - only the good bakers. Because our exchange is to help us build a nice GIFT. If it’s a holiday harmony morale building thing for work or church and the assumed objective is to get a neat variety of cookies for your and your immediate families consumption without spending a ton of time in the kitchen, then take the gift in the manner in which it was intended - with sympathy for the storebought stuff - bought by a person with even less time and skills than you have this season, a laugh and a smile for the hapless home cooks who only bake once a year, and an appreciation for the good bakers, even if that’s only you. \*Everyone \*should get a thanks, of course. **StarvingButStrong** , I’m appalled at the behavior in your story, especially because it involves people from church. There’s a batch of folks who need a little more time spent on their prayer, and a little less time guzzling cookies. How un-Christian is _that_ nonsense? (Or un-Jewish, or un-Wiccan. Not trying to assume your religion, or imply that only Christians are good folks.) ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/23 "2006-12-20T13:48:12Z")
I’m a new mother and I hate baking, but I wanted to start doing it this Christmas so my baby can grow up with the house smelling like cookies at Christmas. Are you saying you don’t want some chocolate-peanut butter-oatmeal no-bakes or pecan sandies or gingerbread that’s been lovingly decorated with ::gasp:: store-bought frosting? I’m sorry it’s not up to your standards, but what if the person is trying to make an honest effort and does so with good intentions? Not everyone has the time or the inclination to bake complicated cookies just to suit your oh-so-delicate palate. Bah humbug to you. I’ll keep my Viennese Coffee Balls to myself and my appreciative family. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/24 "2006-12-20T14:21:22Z")
I’m curious how a fucking cookie exchange would work? Although I’m sure my co-workers would just screw it up. They can never follow instructions correctly and all the ins and outs of the process would just be ignored leaving most participants unsatisfied. Nutty Bunny, Viennese Coffee Balls sound intriguing. That’s got to be some strong coffee if it has balls. Oh dear … it’s really hard to get off that one track, isn’t it? [sub]oops, I did it again[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/25 "2006-12-20T14:26:44Z")
Jodi, NuttyBunny, Guin - that’s exactly what I wanted to say. freckafree, just don’t bother in the future - I’m sure those ungrateful folks who so disappointed you this year won’t miss ya. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/26 "2006-12-20T14:28:19Z")
I hate gingerbread. I thought of using my family favorite molases cookie dough inplace of gingerbread. I tried something this year I’m pleased with. I melt some almond bark and put in some orange cranrasins. I made small clumps. Then I melted almound bark and stired in flake coconut. I molded it around the other ones into a ball. I also made some plane almond bark and coconut balls. They are great. especialy the orange caranberry coconut ones. I mixed some broken candy canes with almond bark for pepermint candy bark also. This year I didn’t start a recipie thread and it’s too late now. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/27 "2006-12-20T14:33:14Z")
I’m with the OP up to the part about the peanut butter cookies with the kisses on top. Those are my favorite. I had this experience last year. My husband came home one night to tell me they were going to do a cookie exchange at work. So I spent the next evening baking some really nice cookies for him to bring. What I got in return was half a dozen Rice Krispie bars with chocolate on top and some obviously store-bought cookies. I was severely disappointed and mourned the loss of my home-baked cookies. So I guess my point is that I really do think if you’re going to do a cookie exchange you should put in your best effort. Brownies from a box? Not okay. Homemade cookies with store-bought icing? Not bad. At least then you made some effort to make it special. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/28 "2006-12-20T14:37:39Z")
[QUOTE=kittenblue] \ And with all these delicacies to choose from, what do you think someone asked me upon receiving their box of 5 dozen assorted cookies? “Did you make any Chocolate Chip cookies?” [/QUOTE] _slams head on desk upon your behalf_ You know, this is THE ONE FREAKING THING THAT PISSES OFF BAKERS TO NO END. BE GRATEFUL SHE MADE ALL THOSE, YOU WITH THE UNEDUCATED PALATE! Ahem. OTOH, there are people like my husband who will not eat anything but a chocolate chip cookie. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/29 "2006-12-20T14:38:12Z")
She has a very good case. Do’nt sign up for the exchange if you can’t bake cookies. You do a cookie exchange so you can get a couple new types you didn’t have before. You give cookies to people that can’t cook, and not exchange them. I haven’t known a good cookie baker that doesn’t feed the friends for the holiday. I got a great assortment one year. I made rosettes and left some with a note for the upstairs neighbor, saying I know it’s not a lot but I think you’ll enjoy these. She came down the next day with about a hundred cookies. They were in an 24" x by 30" box. I had to stop cooking that year, because I deeply sliced open a finger on the second item I was making. I couldn’t get it wet for three weeks and it was hard to use the hand. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/30 "2006-12-20T14:39:06Z")
You can add me as another who is grateful for whoemever participates, even the boys, when they do, and who generally make stuff from a mix. Who cares - it’s cookies. Ground rules are the way to go. “Must have home-baked cookies” is a start. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/31 "2006-12-20T14:44:56Z")
The best brownies I make are from a box and I make cakes from scratch, so it’s not a lazy good enough attitude. They just are the best. Most people always over bake brownies, and the result of telling others how to make them, ended in them not believing they could end up with what they made, if I hadn’t lied. The co workers rushed in and fought over them not waiting for break to save one at their desk. They begged me to always make them for all the occasions, so a mix can be great, it’s all in the baking. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/32 "2006-12-20T15:19:41Z")
We may as well carry that same theme over to the typical potluck at work. You have the same 5 or 6 people that spend time and real money to create somethign homemade and probably yummy, nand they get the next tier, who throw three cans of yellow corn in a crockpot and lug it in. Then you get the last group who stop at the gas station on their way in and buy a bag of chips or a two liter of soda or a can of _shudder_ bean dip. Then you get the lowest of the low that bring nothing and are the first in line. And people rarely seem to leave their niche. They think everyone just **loves** their box of $1 cheap cookies. Honestly. Some people need to buy a clue with the money they don’t spend on the company food events. StG ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/33 "2006-12-20T15:21:31Z")
> [@](#): > > freckafree, just don’t bother in the future - I’m sure those ungrateful folks who so disappointed you this year won’t miss ya. Actually, they will. Okay, I think freckree went a bit too far in her gripe. Personally, I’m fine with anything that the person homemade – brownies, non-Christmasy cookies like your basic chocolate chips, heck, even slice and bake cookies from a refrigerated tube will do, just sprinkle some colored sugar on them or maybe some chopped nuts. See, the point of an exchange (IMO) is to end up with a variety of cookies to offer your holiday visitors, and it’s easier to bake six dozen each of two recipes instead of one dozen each of twelve. But getting commercially baked cookies in return…well, what’s the point? I can go to the grocery store and buy them like anyone else. My visitors can go to the grocery store and buy them themselves. Home baked are just BETTER. It doesn’t matter if they’re plain, or misshapen or even just slightly burnt – they’re different, they show that someone put forth the effort to try to please you. Oh, off-track. See, the trouble with saying that people who bring home-baked cookies should drop out and won’t be missed, is that each time one leaves, the remaining home-bakers get even less out of the exchange, leading to them throwing up their hands and dropping out in turn, and soon enough you end up like my church group – and then the exchange just dies. Because even the women who bring bought cookies get all sniffy and annoyed when all they have to choose from are the bought cookies. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/34 "2006-12-20T15:22:39Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] The best brownies I make are from a box and I make cakes from scratch, so it’s not a lazy good enough attitude. They just are the best. Most people always over bake brownies, and the result of telling others how to make them, ended in them not believing they could end up with what they made, if I hadn’t lied. The co workers rushed in and fought over them not waiting for break to save one at their desk. They begged me to always make them for all the occasions, so a mix can be great, it’s all in the baking. [/QUOTE] That’s true. My MIL always uses a mix – Duncan Hines, I believe – and, except for the super-rich brownies with ganache topping you’d find in an upscale bakery, hers are the best hands-down. It’s the only confection the younger grandkids eat. Baking’s a science. Most people don’t realize that. If you did it for a living (points to self) you’d have to be concerned with ratios, amounts, how the heat will affect each ingredient, how the heat will affect all the ingredients put together, etc. What pan to use makes a big difference, depending on what you’re baking. What you add to an existing recipe (think extra raisins to oatmeal-raisin cookies) affects the baking time and end product. Working with chocolate, especially in a scratch recipe, is tricky because it’s more than just adding a cup of chips to the batter – there’s a certain way to fold them in if you’re after a particular end result. Melting chocolate? Low heat, keep stirring once it partially melts, take it off the heat because the residual heat should melt the rest of it. There are a zillion other examples. Your ordinary at-home baker probably won’t know any of this. Mixes gained popularity because they took the guesswork out of the ingredient ratios as well as sneaking in all those things that add to the product’s chewiness and keep-ability. Paying attention to the pan you use and the cooking times – and especially _taking the cookies out couple of minutes before the buzzer rings so they can continue cooking on their own_ will result in a perfectly respectable product. The italicized bit, BTW, will prevent burnt bottoms. I apologize for the mini lecture. I’m still bristling at the remark made to **kittenblue** ’s yummy creations, but thankfully I’m not bristling as much as I was before I started writing this 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/35 "2006-12-20T19:05:59Z")
At the last office job I worked, all sorts of things were mandatory, despite whether or not you were any good at the endeavor. For example, you _had_ to bring something to pot luck even if you couldn’t cook, and it _had_ to be homemade. Sadly, and withstanding much derision, we had several elderly ladies you lived alone and had no friends or other family, who fell into this category. Yet, even though they were forced into participation when they didn’t want to, they endured many a put-upon glance and innuendo via the grapevine or worse, the occasional complaint to management about their horrendous contributions and that the boss should talk to them. Fortunately, our superiors usually had a bit of empathy and they pretended they would pass the buck along but seldom actually did. So, I’ll try saying this again (and to echo **WhyNot** ), sometimes you have no choice in these matters. I would think it would bode well for all involved to try to make allowances for that. We non-bakers appreciate it. 🙂 Further, I think **threnodyangelfire** ’s story was beautiful and I would have loved, and felt honored, to enjoy their brother’s creation. To me, that amply illustrates the meaning behind such joint ventures. The true meaning of holidays, if you will. In conclusion, I’m also pleased to hear that us from-a-box types get some consideration. Considering that’s about the best I could ever hope for, I’ll try to keep these other tips in the back of my mind (so as to produce something closer to the good stuff) whenever someone expects me to pitch in to. Hopefully, that’ll suffice if on nothing but effort alone. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/36 "2006-12-20T19:13:30Z")
The OP loses major sympathy points for being the second poster I’ve seen using the execrable faux adverb “anywhistle.” I don’t know who coined it, but I beseech on bended knee, please send it back to Hell forever before there’s bloodshed. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/37 "2006-12-20T19:31:31Z")
I think you need better groundrules. I’m glad I don’t participate in anything like this. I’d hate to be judged if I tried to bake something and it didn’t meet a better baker’s standards. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/38 "2006-12-20T19:54:03Z")
[QUOTE=psychobunny] I think you need better groundrules. I’m glad I don’t participate in anything like this. I’d hate to be judged if I tried to bake something and it didn’t meet a better baker’s standards. [/QUOTE] Eh, I knew somebody was going to say something like this at some point. Part of the reason why I “lectured” is because there are things a non-baker home baker can do to lessen those yucky things like burnt cookie bottoms or cakes that emerge with hills and cracks. I’m in no way making any judgment between a non-baker vs. baker. Heck, I still have issues with both every so often when I’m baking at home, whether it’s from mix or scratch. That said, I tend to go into “professional” mode whenever the subject comes up. If I came off as arrogant, I apologize because that was never my intention. The whole point is that with a cookie exchange is that you give/receive yummy creations, some tried-and-true (like chocolate chip), and others different/exotic/take-your-pick-of-adjective. There will always be people on either end of the baking spectrum; others may buy something to share. If it’s good, it shouldn’t matter if it was made from scratch, from a mix, or bought 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/39 "2006-12-20T20:07:36Z")
[QUOTE=kittenblue] I made a ton of cookies for a Make-a-Wish fundraiser, a concert reception, a funeral, a ladies’ tea, and just to bake, and this is the list of what I made: Nut Tarts (with pecan filling) Russian Teacakes Sugar Cookies (with sprinkles) Spritz (basic white and then green trees) Cardomom Crisps (topped with sliced almonds) Gingerbread Men (Large and tiny…the large get decorated) Cream Cheese Walnut cookies (slice and bake, but so good) Lime Coolers (also slice and bake, but triangular and dipped in powdered sugar) Dark Chocolate-Pistachio Trees (partly diped in chocolate and crushed pistachios) Double Chocolate Crackles Chocolate Pecan Crackles Lavender Madelines (yes, the kind of lavender used in sachets) Green Tea shortbread Chai Tea Crescents Orange Spice Tea-scented Biscotti Chocolate Mint cookies (double dipped in dark chocolate and green mint chocolate) Peppernuts (from a recipe it took me 40 years to pry out of a friend’s mother) Almond Shortbread strips And with all these delicacies to choose from, what do you think someone asked me upon receiving their box of 5 dozen assorted cookies? “Did you make any Chocolate Chip cookies?” [/QUOTE] Heh. I make chocolate chip cookies every year for the office party. They’re just Toll House, but they disappear faster than you’d believe, and people ask for them in advance. Sometimes a nice, homely, tasty cookie is best. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861/40 "2006-12-20T20:12:33Z")
[QUOTE=kiz] That said, I tend to go into “professional” mode whenever the subject comes up. If I came off as arrogant, I apologize because that was never my intention. [/QUOTE] You (the impersonal “you” not “ **kiz** ” specifically) don’t come off as arrogant when offering professional advice to amateurs who ask for it. You (again, impersonal) may come off as arrogant for assuming that everyone should already know what you do and judging their product accordingly or, conversely, for assuming that no one could possibly know what you do because you’re a professional. I’m actually grateful for the “take 'em out a minute or two early” cookie advice. I will try it with my next batch, since my current oven is a little…overzealous. But if I brought “Cajun Cookies” (slightly blackened) to a swap, then would NOT be the time to tell me to bake them shorter next time, unless I said, “Hey, my cookies always burn when I follow the recipe, what am I doing wrong?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-cookie-exchange/384861.md?page=3)