# The Fucking LOTR Geek At The Movies **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962 "2003-01-16T13:36:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/41 "2003-01-17T02:07:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > \*\*What the hell is wrong with a cocksuckerette? Obviously you don’t know much about the finer points of movie outings. And, for those who are oriented that way, there’s nothing wrong with what I believe you intended to be the masculine of that same noun. > > But this pales in comparison to what I think you meant by “all-race all-types brigade of assholes”. I’m sorry you had to share the theater with impure races. Didn’t you contact the management and have them removed? They really should have their own theater. > > Your rant would have been a much better read without the bigotry. \*\* Do you get paid to whine unnecessarily? I know there are people who aren’t happy unless they can find a reason to bitch and moan needlessly… are you one of these? Or am I being totally and completely whooshed here? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/42 "2003-01-17T02:13:34Z")
Kinda whooshed… I just saw your correction. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/43 "2003-01-17T02:47:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bob Scene \* > \*\*There’s a movie being made of “A Confederacy Of Dunces” and I plan to be sitting in the front row on the day it opens, hurling popcorn at the screen and bellowing things like, “This movie is an abortion!” until I get thrown out. \*\* I would laugh 'til I peed myself if I were in the theatre with you. ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/44 "2003-01-17T03:39:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bob Scene \* > \*\*There’s a movie being made of “A Confederacy Of Dunces” and I plan to be sitting in the front row on the day it opens, hurling popcorn at the screen and bellowing things like, “This movie is an abortion!” until I get thrown out. \*\* Make sure you wear a big, greasy fake moustache and let your valve do some of the berating!! I’d be right next to (well . . . maybe not _right_ next to) Gundy cheering you on! 😃 They’d better make this movie right, it’s too good a book to ruin. I just know they’re going to put that awful Phillip Seymour Hoffman in the lead. ---
**Author:** ![Virgowitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9fc348/32.png) [@Virgowitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Virgowitch)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/45 "2003-01-17T07:44:56Z")
How about Phallus Phagus rather than cocksucker? Everything sounds more assuring in Latin. Ask any Priest or Altar Boy. Of course, there’s no getting past the notion of “cocksucker” being almost universally used as an insult, just as the word “gay” often is, as in “that hat looks totally gay.” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/46 "2003-01-17T07:46:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Keith Berry \* > \*\*The pre-show atmosphere of inane babbling and cell phone conversations (“I’m up in this muthafucking movie, dawg!”) settled down during the trailers, and was \*quiet as a pin \* as the movie began. > > I felt something…I think it was hope. Hope for humanity, hope for Western Civilization, hope for a better world where people actually made an effort to behave properly in public instead of walking around in “pre-distressed” jeans with huge rolls of fat hanging over the edge and keeping their conversations to themselves and, ah, all those wonderful things that would make a better world. > \*\* I know that feeling of hope. And I still have it. For I went on midnight opening day. The theatre was filled with loud, obnoxious, hormonally-gifted teenagers. Before the movie started, I was nervous beyond reason. I was surrounded by idiots. But, once it started, there was dead silence. I don’t think I even heard the guy in the next seat breathing for three hours. I was so proud. **Wiping away a tear** ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/47 "2003-01-17T19:06:24Z")
Isn’t complaining about geeks at a LotR movie a lot like complaining about body odour at a comic book convention? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/48 "2003-01-17T19:29:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Virgowitch \* > \*\*How about Phallus Phagus rather than cocksucker? Everything sounds more assuring in Latin. Ask any Priest or Altar Boy. \*\* :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/49 "2003-01-17T19:49:18Z")
Christ I can’t believe that rant is getting dissected like this. I think your offense would be best spent elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/50 "2003-01-17T19:51:25Z")
Er… I think _the_ offense would be best spent elsewhere. Yeah thats the ticket. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/51 "2003-01-17T20:03:41Z")
Dear Sir or Madam, I am seriously offended by the next post. Yours truly, NoClueBoy, PhD, MD, Esq, AOL, YMMV, DD, IANAG (Mrs.) ---
**Author:** ![chicken\_99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@chicken\_99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chicken_99)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/52 "2003-01-17T21:55:51Z")
While I was sitting in the cinema having a good weep at the first LOTR film (go ahead and laugh at me) the man sitting next to me leant across to his son and said loudly “how long do you think is left of this shit? I can’t stand much more”. He said it loudly. So I kicked him. This is how we should all deal with those who think it is appropriate to talk in the cinema. Incidentally: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yojimbo \* > \*\*“SHUT FUCKING UP OR I’ll MAIM YOU” > > \*\* I read that and fell off my chair. Poetry. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/53 "2003-01-17T22:17:26Z")
Hey, I’M a fortyish, balding, bearded guy! On the other hand, I really hate people who talk during movies… and I’d have stood up and cheered if I’d seen someone snatch a cell phone from its user during a film and pitch it across the theatre. So… am I insulted? Hm. Let me get back to you on that… ---
**Author:** ![chicken\_99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@chicken\_99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chicken_99)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/54 "2003-01-17T22:25:39Z")
Ah but if you had got up and cheered… you would have been disrupting the film and spoiling it for everyone 😉 ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/55 "2003-01-17T22:31:10Z")
If someone had stood up and started to cheer during the movie and someone yelled “ **shut up or I’ll maim you!!** ” to that person, I probably wouldn’t get up and cheer. I would give myself a highfive in my head though. ---
**Author:** ![Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clint_in_Wichita)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/56 "2003-01-17T22:38:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hazen21 \* > \*\*The woman who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonald’s didn’t win just because she was clumsy. McDonald’s knew beforehand that their coffee was dangerously hot, and did nothing about it. Yes, their is a point where coffee goes from enjoyably hot to dangerously hot, and it is not a secret. Thus, it was McDonald’s negligence that cost them. The story has been bastardized to cast negative light on our tort system, but most people (and magazines, etc.) just have the facts incorrect. \*\* Coffee must reach a temperature that is potentially harmful, or else you don’t have coffee. The old mummy should’ve been cited for inattentive driving & forced to pay the court costs brought about by her frivolous lawsuit. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/57 "2003-01-17T22:50:51Z")
Bah, I remember back in the 1930 when _All Quiet On the Western Front_ came out. We had been waiting for ages for a proper interpetation of Remarque’s legendary work. But what di d we get? Instead of Reqmarque tale, we got a story done by Max Anderson instead. I can remember sitting in my chair and grumbling through the pictrue show: “Where are the shitting scenes?” “What’s with all this Barb Wire laying? That was never in the book?” “Why are they starting with the military training? Remarque didn’t do that!” “Where is the humiliation of the schoolmaster? What’s this ‘visiting the old school’ nonsense!” I griped and griped and griped about Anderson’s interpetation. He had changed tons of things, the only excuse he had was to make it ‘watchable’. Pheh! Oh the battles scenes were well done, no doubt. But its obvious Aderson had tailored them to appeal to the flapper chasing crowd of the dadaists. Pheh, not worthy of the book I say! By golly, I was a Remarque geek and I still bristle at how they dared to ‘interpet’ scenes iun the book and dared to change stuff. By gum I complained to the nearest internet souce we had . Of course in those days we called the “letters to the editor”, and the editor called us “cranks” instead of what we preferred to be called: Remarqians. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/58 "2003-01-17T23:28:28Z")
That was Remarque-able. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/59 "2003-01-17T23:51:12Z")
How the hell do you spend an offense? I don’t even know how to spend my time. None of you do. We’re all here reading this, right? Right? See, that proves my point. I win! ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962/60 "2003-01-18T00:10:35Z")
You can burn my house You can cut my hair You can make me wrestle naked with a grizzly bear You can poison my cat, baby I don’t care But if you talk in the movies I’ll kill you right there [sub]~ Alice Cooper, _It’s The Little Things_[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-lotr-geek-at-the-movies/148962.md?page=4)