# The Fucking Moron Club of the SDMB **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 19, 2007, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794 "2007-02-19T06:50:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/61 "2007-02-20T16:36:01Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] Yes, but you’ll have to start at the bottom [/QUOTE] So this is all a plot so that you can call a mod a… I wish I would think of these things. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/62 "2007-02-20T17:04:43Z")
What if we don’t like pie? ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/63 "2007-02-20T17:12:05Z")
Hey, come on, a fucking moron couldn’t come up with a plot that clever. Except maybe by accident, like he did something truly moronic, tripped over it, hit his head on one end of an ironing board which caused the iron on the other end to fly through the air and land on a cat, which then screeched and flew the holy hell down the hall, crashing into and breaking a mirror (giving seven years of bad luck), causing a glass shard to upset a teaspoon with a pea on it (don’t ask why there’s a pea on it, some fucking moron put it there) causing the pea to fly into and activate a switch on the wall which lowered the winch that was holding the piano aloft (again, a fucking moron built the house) which landed on the bellows on the floor that was aimed at the fire which flared up and sent sparks out the chimney, one of which landed on a piece of paper on the ground outside the house and ignited it while the wind blew the flame into an adjacent pile of refuse (fucking moron) which was abutting the house which soon became engulfed in flames which caused the mod that lived next door to evacuate his house and come running over yelling, “What kind of a fucking moron would do this?” Y’know, or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/64 "2007-02-20T17:12:52Z")
[QUOTE=Regallag\_The\_Axe] Why am I thinking of a vampire deer who bakes pies? [/QUOTE] Ummm, because you’re a fucking moron?? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/65 "2007-02-20T17:18:40Z")
[QUOTE=dnooman] You’re not supposed to talk about it! [/QUOTE] The first rule of Moron Club… ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/66 "2007-02-20T18:43:54Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] Yes, but you’ll have to start at the bottom as a Hand-Holding Moron. [/QUOTE] I think if one started at the bottom, one wouldn’t be holding hands, would one? I think one would be a Fondling Moron. By the way, all this talk about pie – is that just a euphemism for … you know … well, you know. Because I could swear I hear a lot of snickering when people talk about “pie” and I’ve been a member for almost a year, and I haven’t gotten so much as a cup of coffee around here. So, like, there isn’t really any pie, is there? ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/67 "2007-02-20T18:50:11Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] I think if one started at the bottom, one wouldn’t be holding hands, would one? I think one would be a Fondling Moron. By the way, all this talk about pie – is that just a euphemism for … you know … well, you know. Because I could swear I hear a lot of snickering when people talk about “pie” and I’ve been a member for almost a year, and I haven’t gotten so much as a cup of coffee around here. So, like, there isn’t really any pie, is there? [/QUOTE] :: walks by :: :: squints at magic-eye image **Sunrazor** is concentrating furiously on :: Oh, a pie! :: walks off :: ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/68 "2007-02-20T18:52:22Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] What if we don’t like pie? [/QUOTE] List of reasons why you are in the club: 1. Only a fucking moron doesnt like pie 2. See reason number 1 3. Hi Opal! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/69 "2007-02-20T18:55:46Z")
Well, I like pumpkin pie. But fruit pies are gross. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/70 "2007-02-20T18:57:42Z")
I thought I joined this club, once for about 20 minutes…can I join again? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/71 "2007-02-20T19:04:48Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] The first rule of Moron Club… [/QUOTE] …is that you can’t remember what the first rule is. 😕 The second rule of Moron Club… …If this is your first time at Moron Club, you have to do something moronic. Phew. No problems there then. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/72 "2007-02-20T19:40:32Z")
Should be a real hoot when it’s time for the “Ask the Fucking Moron” thread. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2007, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/73 "2007-02-20T19:56:48Z")
Is that a leg? ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/74 "2007-02-21T02:19:12Z")
I used to be a fucking moron, but then I got old, and, well… Can I join the auxiliary? ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/75 "2007-02-21T03:14:16Z")
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat] Should be a real hoot when it’s time for the “Ask the Fucking Moron” thread. [/QUOTE] Why, what did you want to ask me? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/76 "2007-02-21T04:27:31Z")
[QUOTE=dogbutler] Why, what did you want to ask me? [/QUOTE] How many licks to the center of a Tootsy-roll pop? ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/77 "2007-02-21T04:36:09Z")
[QUOTE=MadTheSwine] Why do you hate fucking morons? [/QUOTE] Because whenever he starts talking about foreplay, they say, “I’d really rather it just be the two of us for now.” Because they think a ‘condom’ is an apartment that you buy instead of rent. Because whenever he says he’s cumming, they ask, “From where?” Because when he asks if they’ll do fellatio, they say, “I don’t know, but I fell out of the bed once.” Because when he asks about their sexual history, they tell him they’ve been female all their life. OK, I’m done now. What do you think, am I in? And is it true that there are no stupid questions? Not even that one? ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/78 "2007-02-21T04:41:36Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] How many licks to the center of a Tootsy-roll pop? [/QUOTE] THREE? ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/79 "2007-02-21T15:43:42Z")
[QUOTE=dogbutler] THREE? [/QUOTE] The answer is eleventeen. That’ll cost you your foil hat. One more mistake like that and you’ll be upgraded to dumbass. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794/80 "2007-02-21T21:50:07Z")
I’m a 1920’s-style “death moron”. Seriously, though, I can’t believe you guys are having a gathering of village idiots and didn’t invite me. Check my post history… I should be President of this thang… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-moron-club-of-the-sdmb/392794.md?page=5)