# The Fucking Witches of Goddamn Eastwick **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 26, 2005, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789 "2005-11-26T06:41:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/1 "2005-11-26T06:41:59Z")
Tonight “The Witches of Eastwick” was on Channel 71. Again. This is, by my count, the 6,179,263rd time “The Witches of Eastwick” has been shown on one channel or another on my TV in the last six weeks. “The Witches of Eastwick” was an okay movie, but… oh, who’m I kidding. It was a peice of shit. For those who have never seen it, though if you have a TV I cannot imagine how that is possible, Jack Nicholson plays the Devil in human form and he shown up in a little town and starts banging these three hos, played by Susan Sarandon. Cher, and Michell Pfeiffer, and grants them wishes but they foil his plans in the end, whatever they were. Nicholson chews the scenery, Pfeiffer has terrible hair, and it’s stupid. Why do they do this? From August thru October they showed “The Hunt for Red October” seven hundreds thousand times on 17 different channel, 30% of the showings being on Spike TV alone. “The Hunt for Red October” was a pretty good movie… the first eight or nine hundred times. Recently I’ve also seen the Johnny Depp shitpile “Cry Baby” on at least 200 times. If even two people watched every broadcast that’s still more people than actually paid to see “Cry Baby” during its theatrical release. Why do movies cluster like this? ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/2 "2005-11-26T10:04:07Z")
Limited movie catalogues and no imagination amongst schedulers, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/3 "2005-11-26T10:43:42Z")
Hey, I like _Cry Baby_: what’s not to like about a movie which has Johnny Depp, Iggy Pop _and_ Traci Lords in it? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/4 "2005-11-26T11:49:37Z")
I sorta kinda liked _Witches of Eastwick_, actually. I once mused on what form a sequel, _Warlocks of Eastwick_ (featuring the adult sons) might take. ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/5 "2005-11-26T12:50:07Z")
Too many channels and not enough content. That’s why. Be thankful it wasn’t one of the other movies that’s been in heavy rotation on cable, like The Beastmaster. God, that movie makes me physically ill. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/6 "2005-11-26T13:31:40Z")
I think the WE network has one movie in their archives - _Dirty Dancing_. Maybe _A League of Their Own_, also. It’s becoming a running joke in our household: “Look, honey! \* Dirty Dancing \* is on!!!” :rolleyes: I wonder how they find schmucks to sponsor these gazillion showings of the same movies over and over again. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/7 "2005-11-26T14:41:04Z")
Also, some of these movies are expensive to lease, so the station has to show them a lot to make their money back. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/8 "2005-11-26T17:09:19Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Also, some of these movies are expensive to lease, so the station has to show them a lot to make their money back. Sometimes they’ll be shown on multiple stations, though. I’m wondering if the distributors sometimes offer package deals on these things. I can barely work up any meh about Witches. I’m just thankful that the decade of Trading Places is over. Now I can sit back and watch the All Kindergarten Cop, All the Time network. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/9 "2005-11-26T17:37:35Z")
I feel deprived. HBO has only shown Titanic 6341 times this month. I need more. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/10 "2005-11-26T17:41:52Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > I feel deprived. HBO has only shown Titanic 6341 times this month. > > I need more. I have HBO East and West, so I get to see it 12682 times. Nyah, nyah, nyah. ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/11 "2005-11-26T18:00:11Z")
I had thought at one time that I wanted to get cable since I wasn’t working 14 hour days anymore. I house sat at a house that had cable and the only movie that seemed to be on was Mannequin 3. I didn’t even know there WAS a Mannequin 3. I can’t imagine why they would make it sure lhy the first 2 would be enough for anyone. Anyway, over that weekend, it was on several channels several times a day. Personally, Beastmaster and witches of Eastwick would have been a relief. I have not gotten cable. Everytime I think about it I look at the listings and think do I WANT to pay to see this? ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/12 "2005-11-26T18:19:55Z")
I use the term _ **Beastmastered** _ for any movie that is subject to this, in reference to the \*Beast Master \* movie that it was shown in a loop on many cable and local channels. Sometimes I think they still do. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/13 "2005-11-26T19:11:43Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Also, some of these movies are expensive to lease, so the station has to show them a lot to make their money back. Yeah, but _The Witches of Eastwick_, _Dirty Dancing_, and _A League of Their Own_ aren’t in that category. Those sponges have been wrung dry by virtue of their having been out for so long. A newer movie like _Titanic_, sure. Stations like them because they’re cheap, familiar and available, perfect for holiday viewing when you’re competing against parties and holiday-specific programming. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/14 "2005-11-26T20:55:07Z")
Yes, I hate this phenomenon. Even movies I like I don’t want to see over and over. I was sick a lot this year and this nearly made me nuts! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/15 "2005-11-26T22:04:36Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > Yeah, but _The Witches of Eastwick_, _Dirty Dancing_, and _A League of Their Own_ aren’t in that category. Those sponges have been wrung dry by virtue of their having been out for so long. A newer movie like _Titanic_, sure. I don’t think he meant THAT Titanic, I think he meant the Peter Gallagher/Catherine Zeta Jones one. I could be wrong, but that’s the one I always see playing 24/7 on at least three “LMW” clone channels. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/16 "2005-11-26T22:13:13Z")
Wow. My TV isn’t showing _The Witches of Eastwick_ at all: I’ve checked all my channels, and it’s not on anywhere. On the other hand, it just showed me the first episode of _Lost_, which was spectacular. I can’t wait until the second episode is on later tonight! Daniel who loves his DVD subscription and lack of TV reception ---
**Author:** ![Hombre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@Hombre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hombre)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/17 "2005-11-26T22:23:19Z")
OK, I’m not regular… so slam me! But, I mean… come on, starting a rant on a movie!? Not to be sheltered, but come on. You feel you are **entitled** to programming? Psst…IT’S A MOVIE!!! If I could get your attention for one second… BUSH is the prez. This makes me scared to be alive and American. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/18 "2005-11-26T22:35:07Z")
> [@Hombre](#): > > If I could get your attention for one second… BUSH is the prez. > > This makes me scared to be alive and American. Maybe you missed the fact that we’re talking about a movie in which Jack Nicholson plays Bush? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Hedda\_Rosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hedda_rosa/32/1204_2.png) [@Hedda\_Rosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hedda_Rosa)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/19 "2005-11-26T22:36:49Z")
“Witches of Eastwick” I’ve not seen on the TV in a long long time. The one movie that I see TV channels play _ad infinitum_ is “Shawshank Redemption”. That, at least, is a great movie. ---
**Author:** ![Hombre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@Hombre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hombre)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789/20 "2005-11-26T22:55:48Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Maybe you missed the fact that we’re talking about a movie in which Jack Nicholson plays Bush? > > Daniel Don’t you mean plays with bush? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fucking-witches-of-goddamn-eastwick/332789.md?page=2)