# The funniest church signs...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 16, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896 "2003-09-16T04:41:17Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 11\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![caymus28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@caymus28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caymus28)\
**Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/21 "2003-09-16T21:28:07Z")

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“God answers all knee mail!”

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**Author:** ![Matt70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Matt70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Matt70)\
**Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/22 "2003-09-16T21:47:47Z")

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“Free trip to Heaven, apply within”

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**Author:** ![Ins\_Outs\_What-have-yous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8797f3/32.png) [@Ins\_Outs\_What-have-yous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ins_Outs_What-have-yous)\
**Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/23 "2003-09-16T22:53:43Z")

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I take a photo every time I see a funny church sign…

JESUS IS COMING  
LOOK BUSY

THIS IS NOT DAIRY QUEEN BUT WE DO HAVE GOOD SUNDAYS

IF YOU WAS CLOSE TO GOD BUT NOW YOU ARE NOT WHO MOVED

GOD ALLOWS U TURNS (near a no u-turn sign)

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**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\
**Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/24 "2003-09-16T23:23:54Z")

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I saw an unintentionally funny church sign:

Come to Sun Worship

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**Author:** ![Spiratu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@Spiratu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiratu)\
**Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/25 "2003-09-17T00:46:24Z")

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A friend of mine in Madison claimed to have seen this sign.

“If religion is the opiate of the masses, let’s all get high on Jesus!”

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**Author:** ![drafty\_de](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@drafty\_de](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drafty_de)\
**Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/26 "2003-09-17T03:33:45Z")

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if only Noah had left the 2 mosquitos behind…

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**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\
**Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/27 "2003-09-17T03:48:52Z")

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The young people saw one today that was just disturbing:

It’s wrong to do the right thing the wrong way.

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**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\
**Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/28 "2003-09-17T04:48:58Z")

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One church I drive past had a doozy:

\*\*Jesus here this weekend! \*\*

Underneath it should have said, " SRO, limited engagement. Tickets on sale at our box office. No locust-checks."  
🙂

I wonder if I can sue them for false advertising?

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**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\
**Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/29 "2003-09-17T05:46:32Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \*  
> \*\*I wonder if I can sue them for false advertising? \*\*

It’s not the weekend yet. Better play it safe 🙂

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**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\
**Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/30 "2003-09-17T06:37:23Z")

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Seen outside a church in Arkansas:

“Prolonged exposure to the _son_ may prevent burning.”

😃

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**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\
**Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-church-signs/201896/31 "2003-09-18T06:09:01Z")

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Near the river: “May God dam the flood.”

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