# The funniest Dope threads of the past, yes, it's been done already **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2020, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550 "2020-03-15T23:32:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2020, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/21 "2020-03-18T13:43:12Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2020, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/22 "2020-03-18T13:52:27Z")
Two that I loved: Velma’s [There is evil in my backyard. It’s in a cooler.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=177712&highlight=cooler) Satisfying Andy Licious’s [Okay, who ordered the phoenix?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=192612&highlight=phoenix) [URL=“[https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=177712&highlight=cooler](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=177712&highlight=cooler)”] ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2020, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/23 "2020-03-19T04:24:44Z")
T\_SQUARE’s [Colombia’s coat of arms looks like Nintendo animation](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=398659). Tuckerfan’s [One of the World’s Ugliest Cars Comes Out of Hiding](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=447959) ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2020, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/24 "2020-03-19T06:40:11Z")
Some threads that were awesome at the time relied on topical jokes that don’t make sense any more - my favorite thread ever, when it was current, was the pit thread castigating **Opalcat** (RIP) for [complaining that she would never call the recipe for peanut butter balls “buckeyes” because she was vegetarian and it grossed her out.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=497655&highlight=buckeyes+peanut+butter) [The subsequent pit thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=497698&highlight=buckeyes+peanut+butter) was both devastatingly mean and utterly hilarious. I chatted with OpalCat about it via PM at the time, because (even though she deserved much of the criticism rendered) I was concerned about its possible effect on her. In her good-natured response, she told me not to worry about it. I think of her kindly whenever I remember that exchange. Don’t even bother to click on the links if all this was before your time, but if you were around then and know the posters/posted yourself, it’s quite the trip down memory lane. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2020, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/25 "2020-03-19T09:09:08Z")
Do they make PVC big enough to launch a goat out of? > **[Do they make PVC big enough to launch a goat out of?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=41020)** > > Also, would PVC be the right material to make a goat cannon? Can structural soundness of the barrel be counted upon while properly launching the cloven ones? What would be the best propellant? Black powder, butane, gasoline, semtex? Would you use... Which Shit is Faker: Dances with Wolves or Top Gun? (Particularly post #9 from **Boyo Jim** ) > **[Which Shit is Faker: Dances with Wolves or Top Gun?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=560078)** > > Fakes I’m gonna point out: DWW: A lone wolf surviving in Buffalo Gap Nat’l Grassland. Wiki Wolf. “Walks-with-Fuck-Hair”? with no kids? Bitch would be “Loose-Bitch-is-Havin’-Another-Papoose-and-Shit” and you know what I mean. The “Have a Cup of... Some of **scylla** ’s best threads: The Power of my small Penis > **[The Power of my small Penis](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=66347)** > > In this thread, the cosmically stupid OP later defends his statements by asserting that all gun owners have tiny penises, and own handguns to compensate. Needless to say I’ve lost what grudging respect I had for this unrepentant ass. Consideration... Goat Porn > **[Goat Porn](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=33909)** > > My wife and I move to the country from NYC 7 years ago. We bought a farm, a tractor (for mowing the lawn) and a thoroughbred race horse we had rescued at auction. One horse alone is not a good idea though. Being herd animals they need company. After... Ewes sluts. > **[Ewes sluts.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=83744)** > > My house is on the market. One of the pictures we’re using for the listing is one that we took right when we moved here. That picture shows sheep in what is now the horse field. I guess I had blanked it from my memory, but that picture brings it... Elephant Proof > **[Elephant Proof](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=373196)** > > I can’t decide if this one is more Pit or MPSIMS, so I apologize if I put it in the wrong place. Since it entails a shitload of money, aggravation, and livestock I figure the pit was the place. When we moved into this house in '02, it came with a... Blue Penis > **[Blue Penis](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=509612)** > > I made my wife go to see Watchmen with me. She’s not a geek but I went to see He’s just not that Into you last week, so she owed me. Afterwards I asked what she thought: “Big blue penis,” she said. I get her point. The big blue penis did get a... The horror of blimps > **[The horror of blimps](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=160851)** > > Last week while travelling I stopped at a Zany Brainy store and saw that they had a blimp for sale. It’s called Airship Earth, and it’s a great big balloon with a map of the Earth on it, and two propellors hanging from the bottom. You blow up the... How to kill evil Nazi Groundhogs > **[How to kill evil Nazi Groundhogs](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=15906)** > > I Live on a farm. I have horses. I have fields. I have groundhogs. They dig holes which endanger the horses (broken legs), and destroy portions of the fields so that tractors can not run over them without danger of ground collapse (which means I get... ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2020, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/26 "2020-03-19T11:36:55Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Found it! “My Bladder Knows I’m Home” > [My Bladder Knows I'm Home - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=166577) > > )bviously the post before this one had the same link for both, a mistake Thanks!! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2020, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/27 "2020-03-19T12:00:46Z")
The main humor in this one is in the posts from the OP but it just kills me every time: [smugly polite Christian allows himself an annual SWEAR](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=77753) by long-inactive poster **Ross**. The OP is just brilliant but you have to read the thread all the way down to his follow-up in post #27 for the full effect of the punchline. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2020, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/28 "2020-03-19T12:48:07Z")
I fear it’s lost forever but there was an OLD thread about a man in London applying to be a brassiere fitter at a large department store that had me in tears. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2020, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/29 "2020-03-19T15:36:50Z")
The Horror of Blimps makes my sides hurt. A close second is **flatlined** recalling dealing with shredder guy. Master Wang Ka is a great story teller. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2020, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/30 "2020-03-19T17:50:11Z")
Sampiros musical thread about his traffic accident in rural Alabama was a RIOT. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2020, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/31 "2020-03-20T04:29:18Z")
**John Carter of Mars** ’s legendary [Mail order bride & sour honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=212249). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2020, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/32 "2020-03-21T15:13:24Z")
I was trying to remember which poster unleashed the devastating attack on a hapless telemarketer but all I could remember was that their name started with C. **Colibri**? **Coldfire**? Nope - it was **Cervaise** : [The Telemarketer Speaks. I Respond.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=51270) Enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![Nayna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ebca7d/32.png) [@Nayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nayna)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2020, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/33 "2020-03-22T02:48:31Z")
I regularly pull this up just so I can crack up all over again. > **[I stood next to the Emperor of the World at McDonald's!](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=152737)** > > Or at least, if it wasn’t him, he seemed to think it was. So I’m standing in line with the rest of the herd at Mickey D’s today at lunch. It’s a little more crowded than usual; each line to order is about five people deep. There are three registers... ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2020, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/34 "2020-03-22T12:31:05Z")
Oh great, I had been looking for that one! Thanks so much for bringing it up! ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2020, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550/35 "2020-03-23T15:59:31Z")
Oh God, The Emperor of the World. Hysterical. I use that phrase quite often. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-dope-threads-of-the-past-yes-its-been-done-already/849550.md?page=1)