# The funniest graffito I've ever seen... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 1999, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272 "1999-12-10T23:46:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/21 "1999-12-11T17:36:00Z")
As long as we’re talking about freeway overpass grafitti, there’s a famous one still barely visible over the Washington, D.C. beltway. As you go counterclockwise (west at that point), there’s a hill at the Georgia Avenue exit. As you come up the hill (it helps to be in the second or third of the four lanes), the Washington Mormon Temple rises up into view. It’s about a mile away at that point. The reaction of many people to this sight is “This looks just like the scene in _The Wizard of Oz_ where the characters first see the city of Oz.” Between Georgia Avenue and Connecticut Avenue (where the temple is located), there are three overpasses. Sometime in the late '70’s someone painted the words “Surrender Dorothy” on the middle overpass. It was painted over, but in the early '80’s someone painted it there again. It was again painted over, but you can still make out the letters. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/22 "1999-12-11T21:58:00Z")
On the road to Chincoteague Island, VA, there is (or was) a rather gruesomely designed billboard paid for by some fundie group with the message: “Two choices: Heaven or Hell.” Right above those words, someone spraypainted “Today’s Special:” Also, I dunno if this qualifies as graffiti, but [www.billboardliberation.com](http://www.billboardliberation.com) has some great stuff. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/23 "1999-12-11T22:09:00Z")
Someone had spraypainted this message on the wall of an underpass in downtown Los Angeles: JESUS SAVES FROM HELL Some wag appended this to it: **JESUS SAVES FROM HELL** O DOLLY REVIVALS In the late 60s I wrote in the grouting in a restroom of El Camino College, Torrance, CA (and I’m there right now, keying this in–in the college library, that is) PEOPLE WHO WRITE BETWEEN THE TILES HAVE NARROW MINDS Within a week this reply was added on the next grouting down: PEOPLE WHO WRITE BETWEEN THE TILES HAVE NO MINDS AT ALL * * * “If you drive an automobile, please drive carefully–because I walk in my sleep.”–Victor Borge ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/24 "1999-12-11T22:34:00Z")
In a women’s restroom: Men are only good for two things: one of them is killing cockroaches. (and below in a different hand) The other is moving furniture. ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/25 "1999-12-11T22:59:00Z")
UCLA also has a grout-joke wall, or did when I was there about a hundred years ago. I recall seeing the earnest message “Save Soviet Jewry” immediately followed by “Win Valuable Prizes.” Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/26 "1999-12-11T23:18:00Z")
**Wendell Wagner** beat me to the famous “Surrender Dorothy” story, so I’ll have to go with my second best. Near Tysons Corner, Virginia, there is a subdivison with its name, **McLean Hamlet** , spelled out in individual letters at the community entrance. One day I drove by, and some kids had removed a few letters, converting it to **Lean Ham**. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/27 "1999-12-11T23:46:00Z")
When I was a kid, there was a local pizza parlor with one of those movie-marquee things that you put on the ground. It originally had the somewhat uninspiring phrase “We serve good food” on it. Local kids re-arranged to letters to read “We serve dog food”. When I first saw it I laughed til I practically bled from the ears (OK, I was ten years old). You know, that was 20 years ago, and I still laugh thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![realm505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@realm505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/realm505)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/28 "1999-12-11T23:56:00Z")
still on the subjet of bathroom graffiti. if you are looking for a good joke, look at what’s in your hand. & here I sit broken harted, tried to shit, but only farted. ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 1999, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/29 "1999-12-12T02:43:00Z")
I don’t know if this counts but from the movie “Five Corners” by John Patrick Shanley: two kids attack a SHOPMERIT sign with small explosives until nearly all letters are gone and it reads SH\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_IT. They then stand there, complaining about how stupid it looks 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 1999, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/30 "1999-12-12T03:24:00Z")
One of my favorites: When Burger King or Mcdonalds is hiring around here, they often put “Now Hiring Closers” on thier sign our front. One of my favoriete drunken bitch things to do in the past was to simply remove the “C” in closers. Memories… 🙂 Zette * * * Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get to high. Not enough and you’re gonna die… [Click here for some GOOD news for a change](http://www.binghamtonpress.com/binghamtonnews/local/Sanews5.html)[Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 1999, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/31 "1999-12-12T07:48:00Z")
Rice university also has a grout-wall. One of the neighborhoods near my house is “Tall Pines”. The sign used to be individual wooden letters on a wooden background. People would change it to “Tall Penis”. ---
**Author:** ![Cabbage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Cabbage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabbage)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 1999, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/32 "1999-12-12T08:41:00Z")
Not really graffiti, but I think it qualifies in some strange way: This was at the first rest area on southbound I-81 after passing by Staunton, VA. (Don’t know if the signs are still there, though). Anyway, in the men’s room, above the toilets, there are actual SIGNS saying: “Water in toilets is for flushing only,” and it’s accompanied by a little drawing of a drinking cup full of water, with a slash through it. Are people so stupid that they have to be told this? ---
**Author:** ![AuraSeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AuraSeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuraSeer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 1999, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/33 "1999-12-12T09:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Are people so stupid that they have to be told this? In a word, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/34 "1999-12-13T06:30:00Z")
There is a development in my home town called “Allen Landing.” The sign is always altered to say “Alien Landing.” ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/35 "1999-12-13T06:58:00Z")
‘Flush twice, it’s a long way to the cafeteria.’ * * * ‘They couldn’t hit an Elephant from this dist…!’ Last words of General John Sedgwick ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 1999, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/36 "1999-12-12T23:06:00Z")
The full saying is: _“I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.”_ A TN fave: \*Here I sit all broken-hearted. Came to shit, now I’m departed. –Elvis \* Also, over the toilet paper: **University of Alabama diplomas** There was a billboard put up by the group “Jesus Is Lord” here in town. It read: **JESUS IS LORD of Knoxville** Now, that was plenty funny enough. But some pals of mine weren’t content. They changed the “LORD” into “BORED.” Stayed that way for several weeks. ---
**Author:** ![randomlyblanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@randomlyblanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randomlyblanks)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/37 "1999-12-13T03:01:00Z")
In Pittsburgh, PA the 6th street bridge had some writing on the walkway. It said things such as “the second coming of Bob Dole is near” and “Long live Bob Dole!” “Vote Bob and viagara for all!” twisted stuff! * * * i am special. i am cool. i am doper 3000! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/38 "1999-12-13T04:18:00Z")
I got this from one of my older brothers girly magazines. ( Hey, I was 12 and I tried to understand the articles.) It just may be the only poetry I know from start to finish. Here I sit reading this shit house art When suddenly I let loose a terrible fart It shook the windows and rattled the walls and burned the hair off my dang burn balls. (I thought that was so funny then…and I wasn’t really sure exactly what balls were.) ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/39 "1999-12-13T04:21:00Z")
Back when Chris Webber was a Washington Wizard, I saw this written in the dust of a truck: **W** ebber **I** s a **Z** any **A** rrest **R** esisting **D** ope **S** moker ---
**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/40 "1999-12-13T06:40:00Z")
For someone the sign welcoming people to California from Nevada on the 91(?) is a target for graffiti. Among some of the better ones I have seen on it Welcome to California -where we treat you like a King (during the Rodney King Trials) -Try the double double (in and Out burger reference) and my personal favorite -soon to be Disneyland…the state [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272.md?page=3)