# The funniest graffito I've ever seen... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 1999, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272 "1999-12-10T23:46:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Doctordec](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@Doctordec](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctordec)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/41 "1999-12-13T14:34:00Z")
I saw this in London. The sign on the side of the building reads BILL POSTERS WILL BE PROSECUTED Sprayed underneath was “He’s innocent !” * * * “Hope is not a method” ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/42 "1999-12-13T16:25:00Z")
I remember typing this just last week, but OK… In a London pub, mens restroom (“Gents”, locally): “No matter how pretty she is, some guy somewhere is tired of putting up with her crap !” ## _giggle… whoops, awwww MAN, my suede shoes !!!_ Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/43 "1999-12-13T16:36:00Z")
How about… MY MOTHER MADE ME A HOMOSEXUAL under which someone else had added, WILL SHE MAKE ONE FOR ME? HOW MUCH WOOL DOES SHE NEED? * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![mikehardware](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mikehardware](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikehardware)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/44 "1999-12-13T16:49:00Z")
The best sequence I ever saw was in my high school math classroom. Someone sitting near the side blackboard wrote (using backwards lettering, you’ll have to imagine this) “Help me, I’m trapped behind the blackboard”. A few days later (writing upside down and backwards) “No, help me first, I’m trapped upside down behind the blackboard.” And a few days later, written normally, “No, help me first, I’m trapped on THIS side of the blackboard.” The board was erased very shortly after that one appeared. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/45 "1999-12-13T17:28:00Z")
I did a good portion of my growing up in the lovely, quiet, safe, (boring)little town of Thousand Oaks, in Southern California. Crime was and still is nearly nonexistent there, and in the late 70s, about the only didoes kids got up to (how the hell did this phrase ever come about?) was the occasional spray-painted message on walls and such. I’ll never forget the day someone (or more likely a whole bunch of someones) graffiti’ed the entire city! One morning sleepy little Thousand Oaks woke up to find that every stop sign in town - and I mean EVERY one - had the word “DISCO” stencilled beneath the word “Stop.” Eventually, the public works folks got them all scrubbed clean (the pranksters had thoughtfully used a water-based paint - even when defacing public property, kids from T.O. were polite and considerate!), but not before I used a close-up one of those signs as the last image in a street sign series I did for a photo class. Heh - the class loved it! Teach raved (he was this eccentric old hippie-kinda guy, and I think he graded me as much on the technical/artistic aspect as he did on the message in the final image)! * * * **StoryTyler** _I am too in shape! :::muttering::: Round is a shape._ [C’mon up and see me sometime.](http://sites.netscape.net/storytyler/homepage) ---
**Author:** ![MrSCOTT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@MrSCOTT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSCOTT)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/46 "1999-12-13T17:30:00Z")
The bathroom at the Illinois Instutute Of Technology had my favs: Written on the wall over a urinal: “Your Future is in your Hands.” Written on the door in a stall: “Here I sit, Broken-hearted. Came to shit, But only farted.” Cracked me up everytime. -MrSCOTT ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/47 "1999-12-13T17:41:00Z")
No one yet has mentioned my favourite. “To do is to be.” Socrates “To be is to do.” Jean-Paul Sartre “Do be do be do.” Frank Sinatra * * * Quand les talons claquent, l’esprit se vide. Maréchal Lyautey ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/48 "1999-12-13T17:52:00Z")
Lots of people mentioned: \* Here I sit broken-hearted tried to shit but only farted\* I’ve heard a second verse: \* then I got a second chance tried to fart and shit my pants\* ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 1999, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/49 "1999-12-14T06:01:00Z")
Not grafitti, but I found it humorous: A professionally printed sign on a telephone pole: “Per local ordinance 101(b), it is unlawful to post signs on utility poles. Violators will be prosecuted.” I wonder how much prison time that poor city employee got. * * * The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Armageddon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Mister\_Armageddon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Armageddon)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/50 "1999-12-13T19:41:00Z")
From the bathroom in my dorm building, and I think this shows you how old the building is: If you voted for Nixon, you can’t sit here because your asshole is in the White House. * * * Mr. Armageddon “Just when you thought you had all the answers, I went and changed the questions!”–Roddy Piper ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/51 "1999-12-13T22:10:00Z")
About 9 years ago, some local miscreants came onto our National Historic Site (a British Coast Artillery fort), and used one of the old concrete searchlight emplacements to part in. Spray-painted in red on the floor was a bif pentagram and the words: **SATIN RULES!** (sic) * * * **Launcher may train without warning.** ---
**Author:** ![theuglytruth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@theuglytruth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theuglytruth)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 1999, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/52 "1999-12-14T04:36:00Z")
Seen in a Kutztown University bathroom stall (a notoriously wild party school at the time): _Here I sit on the pooper Giving birth to a Pennsylvania State Trooper._ ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 1999, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/53 "1999-12-14T04:49:00Z")
Someone put up the backwards “Help! I’m Trapped!” on one of the blackboards in a math classroom. This stayed up for a week, then someone added… in R^2!" Sorry, math joke. My favorite blackboard graffito ever, though, is one that greeted my ninth grade algebra class. Someone, apparently hoping to have class cancelled, had written in big letters on the chalkboard: “OUT OF ORDER.” Probably my favorite grafitti exploit is the time that some skin care product manufacturer had erected several small billboards throughout the city of Albuquerque, each showing a woman’s legs. Within two days, each of these illustrations had acquired “tatoos”. * * * “That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 1999, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/54 "1999-12-14T06:24:00Z")
To add to Arnold’s: “Do Be A DO Bee”- Miss Mary Ann, Romper Room ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 1999, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/55 "1999-12-14T23:12:00Z")
Years ago I wrote on a blank signboard: THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH Sometime later I passed the signboard again and someone had crossed out “INHERIT” and wrote “INHIBIT” over it. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 1999, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/56 "1999-12-14T23:14:00Z")
Years ago I wrote on a blank signboard: THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH Sometime later I passed the signboard again. Someone had crossed out “INHERIT” and wrote “INHIBIT” in its place. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 1999, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/57 "1999-12-14T23:16:00Z")
Ooops…sorry about that!! :o I didn’t notice that this topic clicked over to a second page, so I thought my first message hadn’t been locked in. Sorry! :o ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 1999, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/58 "1999-12-15T00:45:00Z")
Storytyler– Nuh UH! _I_ grew up (well, the teen years) in Thousand Oaks: TOHS, class of '91 right here! 😃 Yes, it’s boring, quiet and safe. I’m not there anymore. Anyway, what a hoot! I would’ve _loved_ to have seen the “disco” everywhere. :::singing “It’s a Small World”::: :::bangs head against wall to make the song stop::: * * * I used to think the world was against me. Now I know better. Some of the smaller countries are neutral. [Laura’s Stuff and Things](http://members.aol.com/lrconaway) ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 1999, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/59 "1999-12-15T01:38:00Z")
Ahem. “In days of old when knights were bold and toilets weren’t invented, they dropped a load in the middle of the road and walked away contented.” Thank you, I’ll be here all week! ---
**Author:** ![Petite\_Chouchou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@Petite\_Chouchou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Petite_Chouchou)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 1999, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272/60 "1999-12-15T02:35:00Z")
I saw this one last week in the ladies, er…women’s restroom at the high school where I teach. I liked it so well, I didn’t report it to the janitor to clean it off! If you love your man, Treat him with class. Don’t write is name Where you wipe your ass. * * * My cat’s breath smells like cat food. –Ralph Wiggum [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-graffito-ive-ever-seen/15272.md?page=4)