# The funniest (human) names you've come across **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224 "2008-09-05T19:28:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/201 "2008-09-11T04:32:02Z")
Cute neighbor: Anita Hickey Vietnamese classmate: Duc Wing Podiatrist: Dr. Toesie Dentist: Dr. Hurt High school physics teacher: Mr. Bates (We all called him master) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/202 "2008-09-11T04:40:24Z")
I’ve known Penny Stamps, Harry Dick and Dick Pounder. And a gynecologist named Seymour Kuntz. I always suspected that he changed his name after choosing his profession, but he claimed it was his original name. But my favorite is: Astrida Penis (pronounced exactly like “astride a penis”). ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/203 "2008-09-11T05:07:59Z")
> [@pohjonen](#): > > I tried unsuccessfully to get my niece whose last name was Van to name her daughter Minnie, Cara or Lisa. Sorry, what’s “Lisa Van” supposed to mean? Joe ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/204 "2008-09-11T12:54:46Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#): > > Sorry, what’s “Lisa Van” supposed to mean? > > Joe Lease a van ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/205 "2008-09-11T14:16:06Z")
I’m not making this up: There’s a urologist in Vienna named Florian Wimpissinger. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/206 "2008-09-11T15:53:48Z")
There was a notice from our school district regarding a meeting for parents involved with special education issues today which advertised a talk by a research scientist named Stephen Calculator. It’s true. I looked him up. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/207 "2008-09-11T18:48:30Z")
I just received a business card from a contractor named Voldemor Knitter. I resisted the urge to ask him for a pair of eeeeevil baby booties. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/208 "2008-09-11T18:58:19Z")
There used to be a listing in the local white pages for a “Joe Baggadonuts”. Surely that was a gag, but still, it cracked me up. From the Department of Redundancy Department, I went to school with a “Martina Martinez”. A year or so ago, in the course of my job, I met a couple whose two (female) children were named Eboknea (pronounced eb-oh-KNEE-uh) and Ivoreah (pronounced eye-vo-REE-uh). Eboknea and Ivoreah. Ebony and Ivory. Really. ---
**Author:** ![SomeBodyUK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@SomeBodyUK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SomeBodyUK)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/209 "2008-09-11T19:03:48Z")
There was a guy at my middle school called Stephen Yourin, and a Bangladeshi guy called Fukhrul ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/210 "2008-09-11T20:55:29Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#): > > Sorry, what’s “Lisa Van” supposed to mean? > > Joe Lease A Van ---
**Author:** ![MerryMagdalen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@MerryMagdalen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MerryMagdalen)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/211 "2008-09-11T21:35:55Z")
[QUOTE=AuntiePam] In Seattle I knew a woman whose last name was Everybodytalksabout. She was Native American. [/QUOTE] I was going to mention them! One of the boys has been in the newspaper, and it’s a memorable name. I’ve said this one before, but I met a guy named Vertigo Sunshine Sixtynine. ---
**Author:** ![CAT\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@CAT\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CAT_1)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/212 "2008-09-11T21:41:05Z")
This isn’t all that strange, but my sister has twin daughters she named them: Amanda Lynn and Megan Lee. When you say Mandy’s whole name it sounds like, “a Mandolin”. I told my sister that a couple years ago, and she never thought of it that way. The girls are almost 25 BTW. I joked to her that she should have named Megan. Claire Annette 🙂 tee hee ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/213 "2008-09-11T22:11:16Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > But my favorite is: > Astrida Penis (pronounced exactly like “astride a penis”). This is a real given name? This person’s whole family is named Penis?? ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/214 "2008-09-11T22:16:41Z")
I used to work for a state government agency where I came across quite a few unusual names. One that I recall was a man whose surname was Shithouse. He pronounced it shuh-THOWZ. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/215 "2008-09-11T22:32:58Z")
We had a good time at work when Edie Denzil got married to Mike Peters. I also new a guy whose name was real name was Tiger and he had a sister named Beaver. She married Catfish. We called Beaver Fish. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/216 "2008-09-11T22:39:59Z")
I have a cousin named Dick Savage. A guy on my college dorm floor was David Doctor. He was pre-med. I have no idea if he went on to become Dr. Doctor or, if he did, how many patients have since asked him to give them the news. Lastly, my best (female) friend’s college roommate was Treasure Island. Yes, her parents were hippies. ---
**Author:** ![Roadfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@Roadfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadfood)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/217 "2008-09-11T23:51:08Z")
Way back in ancient times, there was a listing in the Santa Cruz, CA phone book for one Cashmere Tango Obedience. Still my favorite name of all time. And if we’re allowed to wander into the realm of what they should have named their kids (like the Van family), when I was younger we knew a family with the last name “Shue”. We always said they should have named their son Dennis, and their daughter Ah. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/218 "2008-09-12T05:52:13Z")
> [@winterhawk11](#): > > Was he from Liberia? If so, he’s mentioned [here](http://www.aberdeenmethodist.info/Reichsermons/injustice.htm) (about halfway down the page, with a singular Toe). I have “Toes” scribbled on my ratty sheet of paper. Hard to say which one of us got it wrong. . .me, the friend, the person who transcribed it. . .I won’t feel too bad if it was me, though I was (and still am) fairly attentive to detail. I do not have any way to know for sure, but oddly enough, I ALSO did a Google search on Nippy Toes Jackson after my post. It HAS to be him. How many Nippy Toe(s) do you suppose there are? Seems like a good, solid, upstanding guy, that Nippy Toes. Good on him! It couldn’t have been easy, what with being born in Liberia and being called Nippy Toes. Makes me embarrassed to cruise along with the common, plain name I have and not be doing good in the face of adversity. Doing good works with a bad name in a bad world, at great personal cost: Nippy Toe(s) Jackson. I used to work with a fellow named Elwood Cridge. Not a weird name, not a funny name, but I always thought of him as one of the guys that pretended to be a ghost/monster/alien in the old Scooby Doo cartoons. (Unmasking the bad guy) Scoobies: “Look, it’s old man Cridge!” Cridge: " Woulda got away with it too, if it weren’t. . .yadda yadda yadda. I always said if I wrote a book, I needed to use that name. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/219 "2008-09-12T06:02:02Z")
Dick Armey? There was also a NH politician named [Richard Swett](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Swett) who went by Dick. I once had a teller at Bank of America whose nametag said his first name was Divinepower. ---
**Author:** ![PharmBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@PharmBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PharmBoy)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/220 "2008-09-12T16:45:31Z")
My wife went to an MD who was named Dong Suk Wu. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224.md?page=12)