# The funniest (human) names you've come across **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224 "2008-09-05T19:28:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/101 "2008-09-06T16:18:23Z")
> [@winterhawk11](#): > > Toppie Smellie - an old lady from a stuffing commercial in the '70s That’s the first one that pops into my mind when these threads come up. I thought it was a Pepsi commercial, though. My dentist is Dr. McClean. Our vet is Dr. Paine. Our handyman who trims tree branches and cleans out gutters is Mr. Sapp. All true. I knew a guy in the Navy by the name of Maynard Lipp. He always said he changed his name from Richard when he turned 18. There was another guy named Carl Cool; he wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/102 "2008-09-06T16:24:09Z")
> [@Sqwerticus](#): > > Nick Burns-Cox > > Enough of a name in its own right, you might think. Add to the mix that he’s a Urologist at a hospital nearby. Maybe it’s some kind of medical synchronicity that makes them choose a particular speciality, but I’ve also worked with a Mr Pipe, Gynaecologist. There’s a Dr. Capps in the town I live in. He’s a dentist. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/103 "2008-09-06T16:24:12Z")
I have known a Fangboner, a Paardekooper (who was always called Partypooper), a Gaggandeep (an Indian first name), and went to college with people surnamed Dork and Gumz. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/104 "2008-09-06T16:51:44Z")
Another one I remembered is a college friend of my mother’s: Gay June Wedding. That was amusing enough in the sixties. There’s a whole 'nother level of amusing now. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/105 "2008-09-06T17:08:57Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > There’s an RV dealer in Indiana named Tom Raper. For forty miles in either direction on I-70, there are signs proclaiming “Now approaching ‘Raper Country’”, “Now entering ‘Raper Country’” and so on. Well thought out, that one. They actually say “Tom Raper Country”, which is not as bad but still a little weird. I’ve driven through there many times. There was a fellow at my high school named John Raper. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/106 "2008-09-06T17:09:20Z")
Geez, I can’t match anything here. I’ve known the usual funny Asian names. Ho, Wang, Nguwen. I know a Dr. House. That always makes me giggle. ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/107 "2008-09-06T17:34:44Z")
My uncle’s name is Dick Companion. I know a Bradley Bradford and once knew a Dick Sweat. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/108 "2008-09-06T17:36:29Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > There’s an RV dealer in Indiana named Tom Raper. For forty miles in either direction on I-70, there are signs proclaiming “Now approaching ‘Raper Country’”, “Now entering ‘Raper Country’” and so on. Well thought out, that one. ::::humming dueling banjoes:::: ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/109 "2008-09-06T19:32:01Z")
There was someone on my Master’s course called Friday Orji. We only found this out when looking at the list of graduates at the graduation ceremony, but sadly he wasn’t there to collect his certificate. ---
**Author:** ![SpecialAgentJem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@SpecialAgentJem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpecialAgentJem)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/110 "2008-09-06T19:38:11Z")
Mr Richard Hardick always crackes me up! I remember receiving a phone call at work from Suk mee! At first I thought this has to be one of my mates winding me up - I was (this) close to telling her to f off!Really glad I didnt - I have bills to pay! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/111 "2008-09-06T19:47:07Z")
Oh, I can’t believe I forgot these: I knew a Jim Gay and a Brandon Fag. Can’t imagine how tough it was to have those names in middle school. Jim Gay was an ex-Marine, man’s man type; never actually met Brandon Fag but I saw a lot of paperwork with his name on it. He owned another branch of a pizza chain I worked at when I was in high school. And here’s my current favorite. I’m gonna link to it because it’s too damn good for you to just take me at my word. There are signs all over north Phoenix for [Jack Doody](http://www.jackdoody.com/). My wife and I keep making up fake commercials for him: “If you think I’m not going to FIGHT for YOUR INTERESTS, YOU DON’T KNOW _ **JACK DOODY!** _” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/112 "2008-09-06T19:55:21Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > I knew a guy once whose name was Harley Davidson, and he swore his middle name was “Fuckin” but I never believed that part. > > Mike Hunt was the name of our planetarium director in high school, but he always went by Michael. I knew a guy in the Navy by the name of Harley Fork. He told us his parents were bikers. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/113 "2008-09-06T20:32:30Z")
I once had a temp job where I was responsible for preparing mailings to go out to the company’s clients. My favorite name from the mailing list was a gentleman named “Prosper Kluck”. I had a classmate in middle school named “Princess Fountain”. I knew a “Magenta” in high school – she said her parents had never even seen _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. I couldn’t swear to the correct spelling at this point, but I had another classmate in college named “Aiylahcherryessence”, all one word. My mother had a friend growing up who was named “Rusty Miracle”. A friend of mine went to school with a guy with the unfortunate name “Venus Day”. She once pointed him out to me on the street and said she’d always felt bad for him because other kids called him “Penis Gay”. Nickname aside, just “Venus” for a boy seems pretty bad to me. Not sure what his parents were thinking, but my best guess is that since this was a black guy born in the early 1980s, he might have been named after Venus Flytrap on _WKRP in Cincinnati_. When I was working in Japan I had a student named Mai, which is not in and of itself funny. But in one of the textbook exercises students were supposed to talk about the meaning of their names, and Mai explained that her parents hadn’t chosen her name because of its meaning. Her father was interested in the English language and hoped his children would go abroad someday, so he carefully selected Japanese names that would also be easy for English speakers to pronounce. That’s how his three daughters wound up with the names “Ai” (“I”), “Mai” (“My”), and “You”. Mai told me that her sister You had spent a year as an exchange student in England, and that she spent much of that year turning around whenever anyone used the second person pronoun. I can think of at least two fairly common Japanese names that would have been worse from an English-speaking perspective, though – the girl’s name “Saiko” (“Psycho”) and the boy’s name “Daiki” (“Dykey”). ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/114 "2008-09-06T20:47:04Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > My sister had a teacher called Richard Dicky-you can guarantee people teased him by shortening his name to Dick. I had a professor in college named Richard Dick. He went by “Rick,” though. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/115 "2008-09-06T21:00:06Z")
One of my brother’s seventh grade teachers had the unfortunate surname of Dickman. And it’s obvious what they called him when he wasn’t around. He kinda was one, too, if I remember right. I sorta feel bad for him, teaching that age group with that name. ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/116 "2008-09-06T21:00:15Z")
I met a guy in college who always introduced himself thusly: “Hi, I’m Richard Stroker, do NOT call me Dick” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/117 "2008-09-06T21:05:45Z")
While I never met him ( or wanted to ), I recall reading a little news story featuring a religious loon who had his name legally changed to “Lord Lightning Thunderbolt”. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/118 "2008-09-06T21:13:00Z")
One of my all time favorites, of course, is Dick Armey (R-TX). I always envision a horde of penises marching onto the battlefield. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/119 "2008-09-06T21:36:21Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Nickname aside, just “Venus” for a boy seems pretty bad to me. Maybe a fan of “Venus as a Boy” by Bjork? ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/120 "2008-09-06T21:37:58Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Another sister had a Charles Norris in her class. My mom worked with a Jane Norris, whose son Charles went by “Chuck”. Mom also knew Doris “Poetry Corner” Norris, who was no known relation to Jane’s family. My brother knew a Cindy Crawford whose resemblance to the model of the same name was non-existent. My aunt worked with a Virginia Wolf (married name). My sister had a high school classmate named Wright Nee. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224.md?page=7)