# The funniest (human) names you've come across **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224 "2008-09-05T19:28:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/121 "2008-09-06T22:01:04Z")
[Quote=winterhawk11] Toppie Smellie - an old lady from a stuffing commercial in the '70s [/quote] > [@Chefguy](#): > > That’s the first one that pops into my mind when these threads come up. I thought it was a Pepsi commercial, though. Actually, the commercial was for [“a shake-n-bake-type coating called Oven Fry.”](http://74.125.95.104/search?q=cache:tYpDD1Q1vIsJ:www.12ozprophet.com/forum/showthread.php%3Ft%3D53544+Toppie+Smellie&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=6&gl=us) Someone needs to find a copy of the ad and post it on YouTube so that all such discussions may end with a definitive cite. ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2008, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/122 "2008-09-06T23:53:36Z")
I once tutored a boy named…wait for it…_drumroll_… Leviticus Lumpkin III Went by Levi, poor kid. I also knew: Mike Griffone (say it out loud) Emerald Green Morgan Morgan Dwashonique MyOwn ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/123 "2008-09-07T00:34:33Z")
My mother once canceled an appointment to see a Dr. DeMento. I don’t think his name had anything to do with it, but it may have been a safe choice. While visiting colleges in New England we saw an evening news broadcast featuring [Joe Shortsleeve](http://wbztv.com/bios/joe.shortsleeve.wbztv.9.566772.html). I’m sure it’s his real name, it just seems very implausible. I don’t think anybody has mentioned the name of [Ima Hogg](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ima_Hogg) yet. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/124 "2008-09-07T01:38:18Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I had a teacher named “Roland Rotundo” once. > > And yes, he was chubby. :smack: So was my sixth-grade teacher, Mrs. Wideman. But none of us ever made a joke about it. :dubious: For 8th-grade English I had Mr. Cool. He wasn’t. My fellow student Richie Cunningham insisted on going by Richie, but woe to anyone who made fun of him. 😕 There’s a psychologist (or something like that) named Dick Passwater. Too bad he’s not a urologist. Mr. S works with a woman named Creation. > [@LightWithoutHeattttttttttttttt](#): > > Jennifer Restems (large breasted girl, of course) I’m not getting this one. “Jenny Res-” = Generous? But what are “tems”? (Hey, I’ve been up since 4 am, gimme a break.) ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/125 "2008-09-07T01:42:55Z")
A while back former pro wrestler and referee [Sonny Fargo](http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Wrestling/2008/08/23/6552226.html) died. He and his brother used “Fargo” as their wrestling name. The sound of their real name “The Faggart Brothers” might have made for a few snickers. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/126 "2008-09-07T02:14:26Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > While visiting colleges in New England we saw an evening news broadcast featuring [Joe Shortsleeve](http://wbztv.com/bios/joe.shortsleeve.wbztv.9.566772.html). Joe Shortsleeve. I love it. He’s Joe Lunchbucket with a community college degree, moved up to the [front office](http://cheesegod.com/4/falling1.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/127 "2008-09-07T03:36:46Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > When I was working in Japan I had a student named Mai, which is not in and of itself funny. But in one of the textbook exercises students were supposed to talk about the meaning of their names, and Mai explained that her parents hadn’t chosen her name because of its meaning. Her father was interested in the English language and hoped his children would go abroad someday, so he carefully selected Japanese names that would also be easy for English speakers to pronounce. That’s how his three daughters wound up with the names “Ai” (“I”), “Mai” (“My”), and “You”. Mai told me that her sister You had spent a year as an exchange student in England, and that she spent much of that year turning around whenever anyone used the second person pronoun. There is a certain sector of Japanese society that wants to name their kids “English” names either for the coolness factor or to help them in the future. Sadly it usually goes very, very wrong. There’s a kid who is unfortunately still in my kid’s class called Tomorrow. His kanji is the one for Ashita 明日 but they have made the reading say TO-MO-RO. When my son started kindy at three, he kept coming home and telling me he’d played with Tomorrow. I kept correcting his pronunciation and saying the kid’s name must be Tomorou, which is a standard boy’s name here. On the first parent’s observation class I ended up standing next to Tomorrow’s mum, so just for something to chat about I started off, “You know, my boy thinks your boy is called Tomorrow, not Tomorou! I keep correcting him but don’t children say the silliest things?!” I thought her smile was a bit clipped and she was chilly towards me after that. Another mother grabbed me later and said, “Have you seen the name list?? He really IS Tomorrow!” Ooops. I have since found out that Tomorrow’s younger sister is “Hot”. Because they want foreigners to feel that she is a nice, warm, friendly person when she goes abroad. OMG! I heard this from the mother herself but I just sort of gave a sickly smile and told her that was an interesting thought. How the hell do you tell them what they have done. Now she better just grow up to BE hot or it will be even worse if she is pig ugly! Other ones I have met in person - all named so that their lives abroad would be easy and smooth. Eifuu and Okuto, whose mother was offended that I had no idea how these names could be English. She explained impatiently that they were named after the months they were born in - Eiipuriru and Okutobaa. They are both boys. There was another girl born in July (Jurai in a Japanese accent) named Jura (it was all I could do not to ask “as in, …sic Park?”) But the crowning, most glorious name that my son met a few weeks ago is a boy called “Earth”. Apart from being a dumb name, the Japanese pronunciation is “Arse.” ---
**Author:** ![Goblin\_Queen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Goblin\_Queen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goblin_Queen)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/128 "2008-09-07T04:11:41Z")
My friend’s mom is Shannon Shannon. A local newscaster was Jay Walker. I also know a Joe Coffey. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/129 "2008-09-07T04:17:36Z")
> [@Hokkaido\_Brit](#): > > There was another girl born in July (Jurai in a Japanese accent) named Jura (it was all I could do not to ask “as in, …sic Park?”) Actually, I think Jura sounds like a nice name. ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/130 "2008-09-07T04:37:54Z")
A friend of my mother was Voda Clapsaddle, a name I will always treasure for some reason. I worked with a Jamaican named Rendell Headcock. He told me that Rendell is a popular condom brand name in Jamaica. Purely fiction, this one. In one of Tim Dorsey’s books a character identifies himself to a TV reporter as Mr Jablomey. When the reporter naively asks the man his first name the reply is “Heywood”. The reporter then refers to him on air as “Heywood Jablomey”. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/131 "2008-09-07T05:55:17Z")
Years ago, in a small town I was working in, there was an Electrician of Native American heritage, whose name was Edward Manyhands. His truck had the very best slogan on it: Manyhands make light work! Still brings a smile… FML ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/132 "2008-09-07T06:17:24Z")
> [@movingfinger](#): > > Purely fiction, this one. In one of Tim Dorsey’s books a character identifies himself to a TV reporter as Mr Jablomey. When the reporter naively asks the man his first name the reply is “Heywood”. The reporter then refers to him on air as “Heywood Jablomey”. No, that really happened. Not on tv (to my knowledge), but in a newspaper. Edit: [Link](http://www.snopes.com/media/goofs/heywood.asp) ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/133 "2008-09-07T06:41:28Z")
I had ancestors named Junk and ancestors named Skaggs. I’m still a little concerned that we may find an ancestor named Gimmick. ---
**Author:** ![Panurge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@Panurge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Panurge)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/134 "2008-09-07T08:35:34Z")
The Chief Minister of Delhi is called [Sheila Dikshit.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheila_Dixit) ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/135 "2008-09-07T13:32:10Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#): > > They actually say “Tom Raper Country”, which is not as bad but still a little weird. Unless your name is Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/136 "2008-09-07T13:40:40Z")
> [@Avast](#): > > I work with a Mr. Turnipseed!! Much too young to be the same guy but maybe a relative… The guy who ran into James Dean was Donald Turnupseed. I knew a kid named Tony Riggie. Not that funny, but on the student roster, he was listed as “Riggie, Tony”. Still not that funny, but that’s the best I can do. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/137 "2008-09-07T14:12:33Z")
When I was a kid, our family dentist was Dr. Achen. And yes, he does pronounce it with a long “A”. In the same office building was an obstetrician named Dr. Love. ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/138 "2008-09-07T15:35:57Z")
I grew up with Dickmans but the irony never dawned on me. There is/was a Dr. Docter in Madison. I went to school with some Brodds, one named Harry. ---
**Author:** ![El\_DeLuxo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_deluxo/32/9043_2.png) [@El\_DeLuxo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_DeLuxo)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/139 "2008-09-07T17:46:13Z")
My ma used to teach 6th grade, and one year she had a girl in her class named **Scarlett Justice**. I thought that was funny as hell, because if you take away the second “T” you’d have a perfect name for an old school comic book super-heroine. I went to high school with a guy named **Perry Queener,** and another named **Sigman Newman.**. And there was a family of hillbilly religious loons in the neighborhood with three kids named **Trigger John** , **Golden Lee** , and **Dolly Irene**. One time me and some friends were on a road trip in North Cali and stopped to sightsee a scenic older graveyard, where I was stricken with a half-hour-long giggle attack after an encounter with the tombstone of one **Yang Oh Bang**. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/140 "2008-09-07T17:53:12Z")
> [@Hyperelastic](#): > > The guy who ran into James Dean was Donald Turnupseed. > I knew a kid named Tony Riggie. Not that funny, but on the student roster, he was listed as “Riggie, Tony”. Still not that funny, but that’s the best I can do. I get it. Like the pasta. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224.md?page=8)