# The funniest (human) names you've come across **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224 "2008-09-05T19:28:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/141 "2008-09-07T18:00:16Z")
There was an Ione Glascock in my grandma’s town. That gave me the giggles for years. There was also a family by the name of Willey, whose passed down male name was William. And in college I knew a girl named Chris Moss. Her name was actually Christine, of course, but she always went by Chris. And her bday was on Dec. 25. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/142 "2008-09-07T18:01:19Z")
I took a computer class back in the 80’s taught by Ms. Dos. I know a Dick Oder and a Candy Barr. An optometrist in the next town is Dr. Gazaway. In Seattle I knew a woman whose last name was Everybodytalksabout. She was Native American. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/143 "2008-09-07T18:11:18Z")
One of the alumni at the college I worked for in Oxford was a Mr. Yuk Foo. Appropriate, for the home of Dr. Spooner. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/144 "2008-09-07T18:19:45Z")
This isn’t a pun, but it’s a bizarre name, and unfortunately it’s my father’s. Orley Richmond [Olivessurname] III I have been told that if I were born a boy, I would be Orley Richmond the Fourth. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![schnuckiputzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@schnuckiputzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schnuckiputzi)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/145 "2008-09-07T18:51:09Z")
When my kids were little, I would take them for vaccinations to the local health clinic, and the very gay young black man at the receptionist desk was named “Tiger Love”. I would have to tear my eyes away from his nametag with an effort. As I teach in a fairly rural environment, I usually don’t get the very ‘creative’ names that a lot of inner city teachers struggle with, but the one I do remember after 20 years of teaching is a young girl whose printed name was “Jimandi”, so I pronounced it “Jih-mandy”. Wrong. It’s pronounced like the zodiac Gemini, because her mother named her after the father (Jim) and herself. (Jim and I) I wanted to ask if she needed to keep the fathers of her children straight…:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/146 "2008-09-07T19:30:46Z")
> [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](#): > > There is/was a Dr. Docter in Madison. I bet half his/her patients inquired about their diagnosis with ‘Dr. Docter, give me the news!’… ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/147 "2008-09-07T19:34:04Z")
> [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](#): > > I bet half his/her patients inquired about their diagnosis with ‘Dr. Docter, give me the news!’… Gotta give you credit there! That never even occurred to me. Excellent! ---
**Author:** ![Gymnopithys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/fbc32d/32.png) [@Gymnopithys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gymnopithys)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/148 "2008-09-07T20:15:32Z")
Not the funniest but certainly the most pretentious: Dieu (God) a French last name. ---
**Author:** ![Finally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/67e7ee/32.png) [@Finally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finally)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/149 "2008-09-07T21:58:29Z")
Getting into the game a little late but I once had a client whose name was Rotunda. Rotunda??? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/150 "2008-09-07T23:01:53Z")
T9C. Yes, people have been named that. But the funniest name I personally have ever seen is Precious Blue-Eyes Jones. ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/151 "2008-09-07T23:36:15Z")
I happen to know a Crystal Ball, and have a contact through work for a Peter Rammer (and no, I don’t work in the porn industry). ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/152 "2008-09-08T01:50:20Z")
At a call center. A lawyer called in by the name of “Jocko Jean”. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/153 "2008-09-08T01:58:48Z")
One of my wife’s old friends apparently just married a woman named [Firstname] Assmann. I’m indifferent to the question of whether or not people should change their names upon marriage, but I imagine even the most radical feminist would be running to change that one as soon as the "I do"s escaped their lips. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/154 "2008-09-08T02:31:03Z")
A family of boys that went to school with my best friend’s son: Aristotle, Euripedes, Socrates, Omnipotence, and Curly. I went to school with Kelly Green, Chrissy Snow (this is only amusing if you know it was also the name of Suzanne Somers’ character on Three’s Company), Jim Schue, brothers Danny and Davey Davis, Bill Williams, Homer G. Homer III, and Myron Werbowecky. One of my friends’ sons is named Kiel, pronounced “keel”. A neighbor lady, upon hearing the baby’s name, said, “WOW! That’s unusual!” … the neighbor lady’s son’s name is Ether. Local dentist is named Dr. Vicioso. In business I encountered Mike Litt (I always asked for “Mr. Litt, please”) and John Dodo (I didn’t know if it was pronounced doh-doh or doo-doo, but either way, I wasn’t going to ask for him, so made my boss call.) ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/155 "2008-09-08T02:41:24Z")
> [@DLuxN8R-13](#): > > My ma used to teach 6th grade, and one year she had a girl in her class named **Scarlett Justice**. I thought that was funny as hell, because if you take away the second “T” you’d have a perfect name for an old school comic book super-heroine. I had a professor in college with the same last name. Had he gone into another line of work he’d have been Mr. Justice, which isn’t very amusing, but since he was a PhD he was known professionally as…DOCTOR JUSTICE. He definitely had the most comic book-esque name of anyone I’ve ever known. I just remembered that my younger sister had a classmate with the destined-for-gay-porn name of Benjamin (Ben) Dover. His parents probably didn’t realize how it would sound until too late. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/156 "2008-09-08T03:17:47Z")
When I was a kid we had a neighbor kid named Cleopatrick J. Wartley III. Or maybe he was a Jr., but I could swear it was III. When we moved from that street, the people who bought our house were named Corn. The wife’s first name was Candy. My daughter had preschool classmates, twins, named Alpha and Omega. We see them around town pretty often. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/157 "2008-09-08T03:51:49Z")
There was a listing in my old company’s directory for a Mr. Pagan-Colon. Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/158 "2008-09-08T06:38:49Z")
There’s a guy who works in my company’s US office called Chuck Flood. Here in Australia “chuck” means roughly “hurl” in the US … And his colleague Dick Hacking needs no explanation. But I think the best I’ve come across so far is Dr Killingback. And yes, he’s a proctologist … ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/159 "2008-09-08T07:16:39Z")
I worked at a video store, and had to occasionally physically go through our member roll and remove expired memberships. My favorite name was “Annelise Wunderlich.” For the non-dirty-minded, play around with the pronunciation a bit… My wife’s dentist is (or at least used to be) one Dr. Drilling. She worked for / with a Doctor Wachter. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224/160 "2008-09-08T07:33:24Z")
Missed the edit window… Page through [this entry at The Smoking Gun](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0905081ocho1.html) for some good ones - I mean, Fuk King Kwok? At some point, when I lived in NJ, there was an election in which the competitors’ last names were Cox and Ball. Lotsa laffs, so I guess it was about '85, when I was 12. ETA : Wow! They were the same party, and [are apparently still at it](http://themishmash.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/02/17/ball_ball_and_cox.jpg)! I love the internet. I had teachers named Mrs. Krampowski, Mr. Rotundo, and Mr. Pone. Never thought they were all that funny, but they got major laughs when I told my friends in college. Joe [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-human-names-youve-come-across/462224.md?page=9)