# The funniest post you have ever seen on the SDMB **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2002, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039 "2002-08-22T05:17:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/21 "2002-08-22T20:14:08Z")
I nominate [Billy Rubin’s Prehensile Rectum thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=80957&highlight=prehensile+rectum) Also, there was another “funniest thread” thread during the Winter of Our Missed Content. Good News: it’s [archived on BoardReader]([http://www.boardreader.com/scripts/texis.exe/viewthread?query=zut](http://www.boardreader.com/scripts/texis.exe/viewthread?query=zut) funniest&ttype=&postid=3d555519c4) if you want to see some more funny-stuff nominations. Bad news: All the links are missing in the archived version, so you have to search yourself. I recommend reading my summary near the bottom, which at least tells who’s the OP of the suggested threads. ---
**Author:** ![Trob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Trob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trob)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/22 "2002-08-22T20:44:58Z")
I only saw it once but. Homer tries shrooms. I almost lost it. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/23 "2002-08-22T20:45:40Z")
[Biggirl](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=2387736#post2387736) scored a doozie here in her second post in the thread. ---
**Author:** ![mighty\_maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@mighty\_maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mighty_maxx)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/24 "2002-08-22T21:49:15Z")
Can I get a cite for the fart thread? ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/25 "2002-08-22T22:39:58Z")
I think that our pal **jjimm** deserves some sort of award for his response in a **Sweet Willy** thread which appears to have been deservedly trashed. It went something like this: **Willy** : “I want to quit being a Jew and become a gentile!” **jjimm** : “You misspelled ‘genital.’” ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/26 "2002-08-22T23:05:11Z")
Rather than tie up the server with a search I will quote as best I can remember since they were very short(and oddly enough both involved anuses). The first one was in a sequential title thread. “So… What’s the largest thing you have ever put in your anus? Ohhh God! please not my cat.” The second one might still be part of someone’s sig but I haven’t noticed it in a while and it is a line that stands best without explanation. “I can assure you that was no ordinary stretched open anus.” ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/27 "2002-08-22T23:25:13Z")
Don’t want to tax the server, but one that always cracked me up was some newbie that wanted a serious answer to some ridiculous troll-bait, and instead everyone started sharing recipes. In a rage, he started _another_ thread, verbally threatening anyone who posted a recipe of any kind or any other non-topic post. The **very next** post was a recipe for black bean enchiladas. There was also a great line from **Manhattan** in one of senior-hater Uekte’s threads along the lines of “I closed the thread because you are very stupid and couldn’t possibly have a factual answer to the question at hand…” ---
**Author:** ![partly\_warmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@partly\_warmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partly_warmer)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/28 "2002-08-23T00:09:56Z")
**screech-owl** just came up with a zinger, in “…nearly stood up to the Chicken of Bristol…” RTFirefly cited a pic with a matador dodging a rooster. screech-owl: Jeez. Another cock-and-bull story… then on reflection screech-owl: 'Yup. It’s a rooster alright. If it was a hen, the picture would better have been titled “Pullet Surprise”. ’ (Get it?) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=131797](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=131797) ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/29 "2002-08-23T01:56:37Z")
Nostradamus is the master of the slowly building rant. Some classics: [Never Give A Sucker, Or Me, An Even Break.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=98130) [Bridge Over Troubled Water (or: The Man With No Money)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=104013) [Cereal Killers](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=106005) [British Telecom Openworld Is Closed](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=89866) Unfortunately it looks like we have lost his best one, where he was turned down for a job helping women put on their bras or something. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/30 "2002-08-23T02:27:05Z")
Okay, I know there have been threads recently that have made me laugh out loud, but I can’t bring them to mind at the moment. But this one…this one remains in my memory. My sweetie Patrick/ **iampunha** made me laugh 'til my tummy hurt with this one; I just read it again…and it happened again. Just a note…nothing against **Stoid** here…I met her, and I like her. Just…Punha was hysterical. IMHO. Besides which, since I am a good friend, bet he’ll let me rub his tummy, too! Bet he’ll even rub MINE! 😃 [To All You Shmoes with Fat Dogs](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php) ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/31 "2002-08-23T02:50:04Z")
Well, blast. And pfui. I guess I am too tired to do this rename the link thing. (Difficult week) Here it is in its original form. And…[standard disclaimer]I agree that it is best that you not allow your babies to get fat.[/standard disclaimer] Still…funny is funny, and this is FUNNY! [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=71445&highlight=dogs](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=71445&highlight=dogs) Scotti the Lame ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/32 "2002-08-23T05:19:16Z")
My favorite funnies have been Halvsie, Gotcha Ya, and Monkey Butler. I’m too lazy to look up links (Gotcha Ya is linked above), but those are some seriously funny threads. Halvsie is a must read. ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/33 "2002-08-23T07:37:24Z")
I can’t belive nobody has mentioned the classic **Funniest Things Said While In The Sack** thread…[sub]a thread that is illuding the search engine and I at this point.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/34 "2002-08-23T07:43:26Z")
Ughhhhhhh…double negative…sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/35 "2002-08-23T12:31:23Z")
To this day, nothing has made me laugh as hard as the important question of [Can we induce morality in sea monkeys?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=65105&threadid65105) This, to me, is what it’s all about, kids. ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/36 "2002-08-23T13:16:15Z")
**Manduck** : [here]([http://www.boardreader.com/scripts/texis.exe/viewthread?query=nostradamus](http://www.boardreader.com/scripts/texis.exe/viewthread?query=nostradamus) bra&ttype=&postid=3d5fbe22c0) is **Nostradamus** ’ “Breast Stroke.” **Cyberhwk** : Do you mean the thread [“Funny things said during love making/intimate moments…”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=24960&highlight=funniest+said+sack)? ---
**Author:** ![keeper0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@keeper0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keeper0)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/37 "2002-08-23T14:16:54Z")
**Zut** and **Cyberhwk** , that is my all time favorite thread. Though, as a warning, it can pop back into one’s mind at inopportune moments. My favorite in there (not exact quote): Him: (during strenuous activities) Make big noises. Her: Oink, oink (activity stops) Him: What was that? Her: You said, “Make pig noises.” ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/38 "2002-08-23T15:22:07Z")
The thread that got me hooked to the SDMB was one comparing the similarities between **Star Wars** and **The Princess Bride** - starting of with the observation that Darth Vader wore black, and a mask, and has the line “As you wish”. I can’t find it anymore - I think it was over a year ago… ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/39 "2002-08-23T15:27:09Z")
Belay that!!! I found it - Ladies and Gentlemen, I present:[Return of The Princess Bride Jedi??](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=54123) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039/40 "2002-08-23T17:25:36Z")
I think the funniest thing I’d ever read was from the semi-famous musician (Aha?). He was telling about a time when he was on tour with another band who was fishing from the balcony and then later on was spanking some woman with a fish they had caught. I laughed so hard I was crying. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-funniest-post-you-have-ever-seen-on-the-sdmb/125039.md?page=3)