# The game of unfortunate product names **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2003, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728 "2003-07-07T06:46:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/1 "2003-07-07T06:46:42Z")
This thread is inspired by threads listing real products with rather horrible names. Let’s play a game where you invent a product with a genuinely innocent name… but one that can have a double meaning. For example: I own a candy company. I wanted it to be homey and old style, so I named it _Grampa Vernon’s Olde Fashioned Candy_. Our number one product is a muslin drawstring bag filled with toffee covered mixed nuts. The product’s name is: _Grampa Vernon’s Nut Sack._ My ads feature people shouting “I love to eat Grampa Vernon’s Nut Sack” C’mon dopers, what horrible product names can you come up with? ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/2 "2003-07-07T07:21:01Z")
A real one is **PMS Lasers**. Whatever marketing genius came up with that one should be begging on a street corner about now. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/3 "2003-07-07T08:21:47Z")
Well, On NPR’s _Delicious Dish_, they discussed the Schwete weiner and the Schwete balls. 😉 There are plenty of restaurants named “Mother Tucker’s” floating around. I don’t think it’s a chain. Let’s not forget the unfortunate Chinese names; “Hung Long,” “Wang Dong,” and so on. What about an insect exhibit at the zoo called “The Buggery?” ---
**Author:** ![1ofthegulls](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/bcef8e/32.png) [@1ofthegulls](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1ofthegulls)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/4 "2003-07-07T11:58:39Z")
I used to have to give directions, which included “make a right a Tucker Federal Bank”. Never a day went by that it didn’t get ugly by late afternoon. But the callers always had a great sense of humor! ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/5 "2003-07-07T13:41:17Z")
There’s a real couple of chicken take-out places called Cluck University. AKA Cluck-U. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/6 "2003-07-07T14:39:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 1ofthegulls \* > \*\*I used to have to give directions, which included “make a right a Tucker Federal Bank”. Never a day went by that it didn’t get ugly by late afternoon. But the callers always had a great sense of humor! \*\* Whooshed me. Is this some sort of mid-west humor I don’t get? ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/7 "2003-07-07T14:46:23Z")
B&M Baked Beans ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/8 "2003-07-07T14:48:21Z")
The English have [Spotted Dick](http://www.britstore.co.uk/itm00228.htm). ---
**Author:** ![1ofthegulls](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/bcef8e/32.png) [@1ofthegulls](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1ofthegulls)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/9 "2003-07-07T14:55:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Philster \* > \*\*Whooshed me. > Is this some sort of mid-west humor I don’t get? \*\* No, southern humor you don’t get. I still mispronounce it as Fucker Tedral ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/10 "2003-07-07T15:16:51Z")
Since this has deviated from products to signage, I’ll link to a picture of my favorite Chinese restaurant in the Bronx: [Fook King](http://fff.fathom.org/pages/taojones/Fook%20King.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/11 "2003-07-07T17:05:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elmwood \* > **Well, On NPR’s _Delicious Dish_, they discussed the Schwete weiner and the Schwete balls.** That was a send-up on Saturday Night Live, actually. There used to be a Czechoslovakian car called the Skoda, and unfortunate name for a truly ugly vehicle. We all referred to it as the Scrota. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/12 "2003-07-07T19:34:23Z")
aw! We’ve had threads about _real_ products before. I want to hear outrageous suggestions (like the B&M beans one)! ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/13 "2003-07-07T19:52:03Z")
B&M is a real product, available at least in New England. It gets worse: Their Web site is [http://www.bmbeans.com/](http://www.bmbeans.com/). What the _hell_ were they thinking? ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/14 "2003-07-07T19:54:24Z")
Well, how about a sound-activated electrical switch system called the Clap. (It would, of course, be the Clapper’s main rival). It would operate from a little box thing attached to the appliance in question (forgive my electrical ignorance). Some customer testimonials: “I have the Clap, and it makes it much easier to turn on the lights when I have to get up at night to use the bathroom!” “My husband gave me the Clap for Christmas - I can’t imagine how I lived without it!” “I recently got divorced, and you might be surprised that we never fought over valuables and pets - we had the most trouble deciding who got the Clap!” ---
**Author:** ![1ofthegulls](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/bcef8e/32.png) [@1ofthegulls](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1ofthegulls)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/15 "2003-07-07T20:47:27Z")
I love it **Kn\*ckers**! ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/16 "2003-07-07T21:57:07Z")
Isn’t there a hair removal product from Australia or something called “Nads”? I think I saw like a thirty minute infomercial on that once and never stopped laughing. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/17 "2003-07-07T22:03:31Z")
Oh wait I just remembered another one, except this is an unfortunate URL address… _Time Out New York_, a weekly magazine here, just brought our attention to the Powergen corporation, based in Italy. Hence, their website is [www.powergenitalia.com](http://www.powergenitalia.com). HA! ---
**Author:** ![Qburn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/bc79bd/32.png) [@Qburn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qburn)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/18 "2003-07-07T23:45:48Z")
The italian power generating company story is false according to snopes. > **[Did 'Powergen' Choose This Domain Name for Their Italian Division?](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/powergen/)** > > Accidentally-risqué domain names are nothing new on the internet. I remember the hair removal ‘Nads’ commercials here in the states, as well as the diet suppressant called ‘Ayds’ which was discontinued for obvious reasons ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/19 "2003-07-07T23:53:10Z")
I saw an ad for ‘Nads’ in the June issue of _Esquire_. The chiropractor’s secretary couldn’t understand my burst of laughter from the waiting room. ---
**Author:** ![Latch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f475e1/32.png) [@Latch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Latch)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728/20 "2003-07-08T00:09:38Z")
From Snopes on Powergenitalia: > [@](#): > > \*\* > But the folks at Powergen maintained that they had nothing to do with the choice of domain name and didn’t even have an Italian division. The [powergenitalia.com](http://powergenitalia.com) domain apparently hosts the web site of a real Italian company which sells specialized battery products. > \*\* So it is a real company, just not a division of a company from the UK. I can’t believe no one has mentioned [Mr. Brain’s Faggots](http://www.mrbrainsfaggots.com/) yet. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game-of-unfortunate-product-names/186728.md?page=2)