# The Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 1999, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171 "1999-10-23T04:11:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/41 "1999-10-27T16:24:00Z")
Sorry, make that HANDY, not HANDI. * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. ---
**Author:** ![eden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f9b8f/32.png) [@eden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eden)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/42 "1999-10-27T19:34:00Z")
Hmm. I need damsel lessons. From your picture, Diane, it’s clear why men flock to your aid. Two observations strike me immediately: 1) I DON’T look like that, and 2) I DO get tickets, change my own tires, wipers, etc. because no one ever offers to do so. What am I doing wrong here? Do these offers of help really have nothing to do with appearance? Is there something special I have to do? Say? I need Damsel 101. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/43 "1999-10-27T21:26:00Z")
Why do I keep reading, my new “sweaty” UncleBeer, instead of “sweety”? * * * “What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” – _W.C. Fields_ ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/44 "1999-10-27T21:53:00Z")
Probably because I wanna get sweaty with you? 😉 * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/45 "1999-10-27T23:37:00Z")
I’ll go along with “Doghouse Reilly” on this one. Men will volunteer to do things for women if it gives them a chance to show off and if it’s a skill that traditionally women don’t have. Try and turn on the charm and have a man vacuum the house for you! Or do the dishes. Then it’s not nearly as effective. The reverse is also true. I’ve had many girlfriends offer to sow buttons on for me because I don’t know how to do it. Or do holiday shopping because I say I don’t have time to go get the present. * * * J’ai assez vécu pour voir que différence engendre haine. Stendhal ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/46 "1999-10-28T02:31:00Z")
Oh I agree!!! It works both ways. Women have this need to mother helpless men when it comes to domestic duties. ## Give me the “How do you turn this iron thing on?” and I’m there for the rescue! \>^,^\< KITTEN Seven days of sex makes a whole week. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/47 "1999-10-28T03:18:00Z")
I really hate it when women try that puppy-eyed-help-me look. It makes me want to not help, because I think it’s really selling sex, without ever paying. Not that I would help out for sex, but there’s that subtle undertone that they will like you or whatever, and then, of course, they just take and leave. Not that I am bitter. Seriously, I have a bad impression of women who seem to know nothing and be helpless. I don’t mind helping out, and yes, there is that macho feeling while doing it, but I much more like it when there is a real attempt to do things for herself. I don’t find it attractive to be what I consider basically manipulative. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/48 "1999-10-28T16:53:00Z")
Diane, how come the time of some of the messages you posted are from 1130am-455pm? You still posting from work? ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/49 "1999-10-29T05:05:00Z")
Gawd Handy, if you were paying attention, you would have read A COUPLE OF TIMES that I work a compressed work schedule, I work shifts, and I have “use or lose” vacation leave that I have to take before the end of the year. I worked last night so I am home today, but thanks for noticing, really. If I didn’t think you were such a fruit-loop, I would give you my home phone number so you could verify this fact and put your little mind at rest. I’ll tell you what, why don’t you give me a fax number and I will send you a copy of my work schedule, that way you can police my online time, M’kay? ## I guess I should be flattered that I am your latest hobby, but you’re starting to act like a pesty little dog humping my leg, so scat - before I kick you! \>^,^\< KITTEN Seven days of sex makes a whole week. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/50 "1999-10-29T05:49:00Z")
And there are the claws. You can’t say ample warning wasn’t given. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/51 "1999-10-28T18:28:00Z")
It is an esteem-booster to be of assistance to those in need, male or female. That’s more of a humanist trait than a macho one. As a Southern boy, I must assure y’all that being a _gentleman_ is very important to me. If ya wanna throw in a little nookie, I reckon that’d be fine, too. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/52 "1999-10-28T18:47:00Z")
I can’t do it. I just can’t. I have too much inner drive to “prove” to men that I can do everything they can do. In the spirit of the 90s, I blame my butch, lawyer mom. I remember once a guy friend coming over to our house… I had told him that I was building a kitchen cabinet thing. Well when he came over and saw me with all this raw lumber and a circular saw he said “oh wow, I didn’t think you were REALLY making it… I figured maybe you were helping your husband or something.” Gah!! that pisses me off. It’s childish, but I always feel like I have to prove that I can do anything “boys” can do. God I love my [Dremel](http://fathom.org/opalcat/dremelpic.jpg) * * * – O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/53 "1999-10-28T19:27:00Z")
Don’t get me wrong, I love to do things to keep up with the guys. I built a big part of my redwood deck (two layers, rail, etc) by myself. I did have help from a couple of friends, my dad, and the guy from the lumber yard, but I did a lot of the work by myself and it turned out rather nice if I do say so. I have done a lot of work inside also, including putting up new walls and just recently a major plumbing job in my shower. I chopped down a big tree last weekend. ## I am not always “helpless”, only when I don’t want to do something like change wiper blades in the rain or receive a speeding ticket. Other times, (such as the lumber yard guy) I didn’t put on the act, I think the guy just wanted to be nice or helpful or who knows what, and I wasn’t going to turn him down. \>^,^\< KITTEN Seven days of sex makes a whole week. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/54 "1999-10-29T00:45:00Z")
Diane, well I finally found your picture…[whoever looks like their picture?] Im an artist so Ive seen tons of women, & I gather from seeing your picture [youre not 1.5" tall are you?] that you’d do just fine without all those games. This of course, begs a most dangerous question. Do you think that a woman needs to ‘test’ her female wiles to see if she’s still got ‘it’ as she ages? ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/55 "1999-10-29T13:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > This of course, begs a most dangerous question. Do you think that a woman needs to ‘test’ her female wiles to see if she’s still got ‘it’ as she ages? You mean in the same sence that some older men buy a new Corvette and start screwing younger women to see if he’s still got “it”? * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN Seven days of sex makes a whole week. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/56 "1999-10-29T14:30:00Z")
In the same “sense” too. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/57 "1999-10-29T15:48:00Z")
I’ve seen this referred to a couple of times, and I think we need to get into this more: The Male Household Chores Incompetency Game. My husband and I work about the same amount (outside the home) but I end up doing most of the chores. I have succeeded in getting him to try to help out/ trade days on dishes, laundry, etc., but invariably he _purposefully_ (I am sure of this-- I think he has actually admitted it in unguarded moments) done such a terrible job that he knows I will stop allowing him. Things like “I didn’t know I was supposed to _sort_ the laundry”, or leaving terrible encrusted colorful stuff on dishes _right before_ we have guests for dinner. His idea of “picking up the living-room” is to stack the junk into piles along the sides of the walls. So I get my revenge, sometimes, by “having real trouble” changing a bike tire and pretending to be a bad cook (he’s starting to catch on to this one, though). ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/58 "1999-10-29T16:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve seen this referred to a couple of times, and I think we need to get into this more: The Male Household Chores Incompetency Game. My husband and I work about the same amount (outside the home) but I end up doing most of the chores. I have succeeded in getting him to try to help out/ trade days on dishes, laundry, etc., but invariably he _purposefully_ (I am sure of this-- I think he has actually admitted it in unguarded moments) done such a terrible job that he knows I will stop allowing him. Things like “I didn’t know I was supposed to _sort_ the laundry”, or leaving terrible encrusted colorful stuff on dishes _right before_ we have guests for dinner. His idea of “picking up the living-room” is to stack the junk into piles along the sides of the walls. So I get my revenge, sometimes, by “having real trouble” changing a bike tire and pretending to be a bad cook (he’s starting to catch on to this one, though). And this Folks, is why I named the thread “The Game”. It’s not only women who play, the men just use a different ball. * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN Seven days of sex makes a whole week. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/59 "1999-10-29T16:56:00Z")
“The Male Household Chores Incompetency Game.” Oh, I don’t play that game. Just for my women friends’ I do their laundry, clean their house, wash their car [if they have one], clean their yards, etc. Then there is: “The Female ‘I can’t do this without a man’ Incompetancy game.” ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 1999, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171/60 "1999-10-30T05:04:00Z")
Anyway, to answer Diane’s original question: > [@](#): > > So guys, what is this power we women have over you? Is it a penis thing? Is it a need to rescue the damsel in distress? Is it a macho thing? Is it a gentleman thing? What is it? The “power” women have is due to education and the way society teaches us the behaviour of the sexes. As a child, most people are taught that women are fragile and must be protected. (“You throw that ball like a girl”, “You can’t hit a girl”, etc…) Those prejudices end up being deeply embedded in our mental make-up and reflected in our behaviour. The converse can be seen in the fact that mean are raised to be more aggressive and dominating. In many cases, in a confrontation, women will back down faster than a man would. You could also see this in schools were boys would get more attention from the teacher and where girls spoke up less. Even after the progress made in women’s rights, these preconceptions are still foisted upon children. Go to any toy store, and walk down an aisle. It takes 5 seconds to guess for which gender the toys are intended. * * * J’ai assez vécu pour voir que différence engendre haine. Stendhal [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-game/10171.md?page=4)