# The Garden of PAIN! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298 "2004-09-27T14:21:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/21 "2004-09-27T17:47:17Z")
Thanks for the tip **Homebrew** , but I just want to reduce my mowing, not knock it out all together. See, when I mow it’s “me time”. No one can bother me because they’re not allowed around the mower when it’s running and I couldn’t hear them anyway. I get my thinking done when I mow. I mean, it’s about an hour a week. That’s all the thinking I need. (It’s when I work on the MMP.) The late MMP wasn’t my fault. You can blame it on the President. Georgie is giving a speech in the park near me this afternoon, which means traffic is going to be all tied up all evening. Which means the Little Woman stayed home from work becuase there would be no way for her to get home tonight with the road closings and the traffic tie-ups. So she stayed home which meant she got the one kid ready for school which meant I didn’t have to get up all that early which meant I got a late start on kicking out the MMP this week. All the President’s fault, see? > [@TheFaerie](#): > > So off we head to the local Renaissance Festival and find a wonderful statue of Pan. He is going to be the centerpiece of a flower garden near our front steps where he will stand out in beautiful relief against the evergreen yew bushes. For some reason The Elf thinks this will annoy the neighbors, but I suspect that the neighbors don’t have enough knowledge of pagan deities to realize that Pan is more than just a cool yard ornament. Were I your neighbor, that would annoy me **Faerie**. Not because I have anything against Pan, but I _really_ hate yew bushes. > [@lightingtool](#): > > To continue a theme from last week, any ideas on a nickname for my fiancé? Poor sap? _Sharp_ cheddar! Ha! ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/22 "2004-09-27T17:49:59Z")
Yay **Kalley** ’s Mom! Get better-er! ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/23 "2004-09-27T17:55:08Z")
> [@lightingtool](#): > > I’ll have you know, **Rue** , those things are called carriages. Not carts. At least where I’m from. Although not where I live now. They’re called carts out here. Stupid California. No, no, no! They are called buggies. > [@](#): > > To continue a theme from last week, any ideas on a nickname for my fiancé? I’m pretty sure she would be against a name with “tool” in it. How about **lightinglass** or, once you’re married, **lightinglady**? ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/24 "2004-09-27T18:10:30Z")
**lightingtool** , you could call her **All Lit Up** , or maybe just **Lit** for short. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/25 "2004-09-27T18:33:37Z")
This thread contains insufficient sympathy for me. I am sick! I can’t nap because the stupid cough wakes me up! Good for your Mom, getting all better, **Kallessa**. To echo **Rue** , tell her to keep on getting betterer. ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/26 "2004-09-27T18:38:00Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > Were I your neighbor, that would annoy me **Faerie**. Not because I have anything against Pan, but I _really_ hate yew bushes. For my part I have no opinion on yew bushes, but The Elf really likes them and will spend hours trimming them into nice box shapes. He is also trying to figure out how long it will take for the ones around the deck to grow tall enough to completely block out the view of the neighbor’s yard. Personally, I think it will be like trying to grow out a short hair cut; they will get very untidy and he will be headed for the shears long before they are tall enough to suit his privacy needs. I just want pretty flowers and shady trees, he wants a Secret Elf Compound where no one can see him drinking his coffee on the deck in the mornings. It’s not like he runs around nekkid or something. At 51, he feels his running around nekkid days are long past, and as much as I love him, I agree. He also wants to completely re-landscape the backyard to include a hot tub and waterfall water feature and get rid of as much of the grass as possible because he hates cutting grass. Which is funny because grass cutting is my job, and I kind of like doing it and he rarely has to mess with it. And the waterfall thing I’m not convinced of yet because our backyard is mostly flat and shaped weird and I’m having a problem envisioning it, although I am all for the hot tub idea. Particulary after mowing the lawn. Pehaps I need more chocolate martini persuasion. **Kalley** Continual good wishes to your mom. I know what you are going through. My mom has had breast cancer surgery this year, is getting ready to finish her last chemo this week, and will start radiation therapy in November. She will be 100% okay, but it’s still worrysome. **mistee** I want a mower like that! We have a fairly big driveway, if visitors park correctly we can fit 6 cars in it, and the bane of my (and my back’s) existance is shoveling it! My massage therapist makes pretty good money off of me in the winter. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/27 "2004-09-27T18:49:41Z")
Well my weekend was horrid. Just as I pulled into the driveway, on friday, my car decided it was hot. So I spent all weekend worried about my car and whether I was ever going to get it fixed completely and just which deity I needed to sacrifice to in order to be sure. Not that I could have sacrificed anything even if I’d known because I didn’t dare use my car to drive to Sacrifices “R” Us. So yeah, I sat around worrying and reading depressing books about the environment. All told, I’d rather have gotten whacked about by a tiller. And **lightingtool** , you take that back about california! We’re not stupid, we’re whimsical. Yeah, delightfully whimsical. Plus, I vote to call your sweetie The Director, because she’s gonna be the one in charge. Yay for your mom **Kalley** , that’s really good news (all things considered). ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/28 "2004-09-27T18:55:10Z")
> [@Tupug Anachi](#): > > Gee, \*\* bibbie\*\*, you really go deluxe when you get Molly stuffies, don’t you? Hey, nuttin’ but the best for my dumb-ass dog. **Kallessa,** I’m glad to hear your mom is better. For those of you who are Lazy Gardeners (like myself), mums are good and this is the time for them. They’re cheap, easy to plant, are green all summer and then burst forth in the Fall with enormous blooms of color. You do have to cut them off at ground level (don’t dig them up!) when they die, but that’s pretty easy. They spread, too. And they come back each year. Perfect for the Lazy Tightwad! I saw my first set of Spinning Rims the other day. I think I’ve seen them on moving cars, but it’s hard to tell if they’re actual Spinning Rims when the car is moving. I finally saw some on a stopped car, and my God they are the dumbest car accessory I’ve ever seen in my life. Or, I’m just getting old. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/29 "2004-09-27T19:06:35Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > All I need to do is water **Irving** about once a week. That takes me about 2 seconds. What do Bingo, Bango, and Bongo have to say about being left out? OK, who among the MMPers can tell me the source of that obscure joke? Hint: it’s Cafe Society material… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/30 "2004-09-27T19:08:37Z")
**Kalley** , good vibes and wishes with your Mom. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/31 "2004-09-27T19:08:44Z")
[sub]I don’t get it.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/32 "2004-09-27T19:26:04Z")
Not only did I not do any gardening this weekend, I don’t think I’ll be doing any till the spring. Much as I want to get some bulbs in the ground so I’ll have daffodils and tulips in the spring, I don’t know when I’ll have the time. However, unlike **Rue** , I’m working on decreasing the number of gardens here. Not that the alleged “gardens” are all that well defined. And mostly, they consist of hostas (all one variety) and a few scruffy evergreens. And some rocks. And a couple of birdbaths. I’m going to move the rocks to either the one bed right in front of the house or to the bare spot on the corner of the lot. Then I’m going to plant mums and marigolds and bulbs and maybe a crepe myrtle or two. But that’s for springtime. Frankly, I’d rather mow than weed, especially since we have a riding mower, having 3 acres and all… although about half of the yard is being given back to Mother Nature - I ain’t mowing and raking in the wooded half of the yard. So I’ll be all ecological instead. However, I am in pain. We primed and painted and put down tile and installed a solar tube and hung a ceiling fan and went to the dump… And tonight we get to grout the tile. Yep, the fun never ends at FairyChatEstates! As soon as I post this, I’ll upload the lastest pics for whoever cares. So, **Rue** , did George stop by to admire your garden? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/33 "2004-09-27T19:35:49Z")
You lucky gardeners. My plot was overtaken by the kudzu by early June, and I gave up. Next spring, if we’ve moved, I’ll plant it all in barrels in the back yard instead of using the plots at work… I, however, spent a sunny and delightful Saturday installing a new motor and wiring harness in my washing machine. I didn’t need to see the sun, but at least it worked when I turned it on the first time. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/34 "2004-09-27T19:39:41Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > I didn’t need to see the sun, but at least it worked when I turned it on the first time. **WOW!!!** Yea, and behold The Heavenly Father posts to the MMP and his name is **vunderbob**! ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/35 "2004-09-27T20:01:40Z")
Proof that **Rue de Day** is a few bricks shy of a load: > [@](#): > > We were still about three bricks short, but that was in the back where you really can’t see unless you walk around half the house, so it really wasn’t that big a deal. I rest my case. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/36 "2004-09-27T20:36:31Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > What do Bingo, Bango, and Bongo have to say about being left out? > > OK, who among the MMPers can tell me the source of that obscure joke? Hint: it’s Cafe Society material… I can’t believe I’m going to answer this… Bingo, Bango, Bongo and Irving were the members of a rock band (can’t remember the name) who came to Gilligan’s Island in search of peace and quiet, but found the Castaways instead. They left (leaving our hapless Castaways stranded yet again!) after seeing Mary Ann, Ginger and Mrs. Howell perform as the Honey Bees, thinking they’d be competition in the music biz. Why, yes, I do need a life. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/37 "2004-09-27T20:42:44Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > [sub]I don’t get it.[/sub] And you with the new boyfriend too. It is to cry. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/38 "2004-09-27T20:49:59Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I can’t believe I’m going to answer this… > Bingo, Bango, Bongo and Irving were the members of a rock band (can’t remember the name) who came to Gilligan’s Island in search of peace and quiet, but found the Castaways instead. They left (leaving our hapless Castaways stranded yet again!) after seeing Mary Ann, Ginger and Mrs. Howell perform as the Honey Bees, thinking they’d be competition in the music biz. > > Why, yes, I do need a life. **Bib** gets it. I bestow my heavenly blessings on you… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/39 "2004-09-27T21:35:27Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I can’t believe I’m going to answer this… > Bingo, Bango, Bongo and Irving were the members of a rock band (can’t remember the name) who came to Gilligan’s Island in search of peace and quiet, but found the Castaways instead. They left (leaving our hapless Castaways stranded yet again!) after seeing Mary Ann, Ginger and Mrs. Howell perform as the Honey Bees, thinking they’d be competition in the music biz. > > Why, yes, I do need a life. I have never been so happy to not know something in my entire life! ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298/40 "2004-09-27T22:13:55Z")
> [@Kallessa](#): > > I have never been so happy to not know something in my entire life! I concur! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garden-of-pain/266298.md?page=3)