# The "Garfield" Where Jon Drinks Dog Semen **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 3, 2006, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272 "2006-01-03T20:10:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/61 "2006-01-04T18:08:15Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > Put all of this together and it’d be one hell of an act. But what to call it? The Aristocrats! ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/62 "2006-01-04T18:10:51Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Wasn’t there’s a _Peanuts_ cartoon that very week where Lucy guzzled Snoopy’s spooge? Maybe it was common at the time. Somebody screwed the pooch! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/63 "2006-01-04T18:12:09Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > Put all of this together and it’d be one hell of an act. But what to call it? Dare I suggest [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Aristocrats]the obvious [/quote] ? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/64 "2006-01-04T18:13:31Z")
:smack: :smack: :smack: Not only four minutes late, but I blew the coding!! **AARGH AARGH AAAAAARGH** ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/65 "2006-01-04T18:57:07Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Wasn’t there’s a _Peanuts_ cartoon that very week where Lucy guzzled Snoopy’s spooge? Maybe it was common at the time. That’s right! It was Fido Jizz week in the comics page that week! I’m still emotionally scarred from that Marmaduke… ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/66 "2006-01-04T20:23:24Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > Okay, since no one has said this yet … > > “steamin’ cup of fido jizz” > > BAND NAME! No, but it would be a great lyric. Take Steamroller by James Taylor and substitute it for “Churnin’ urn o’ burnin’ funk” ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/67 "2006-01-04T22:05:11Z")
I’ll show my wife the Garfield comic later without telling her what we think it is and get her “cold” impression of it. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/68 "2006-01-05T00:54:52Z")
> [@jackelope](#): > > Against my better judgment, I googled “steamin’ cup of fido jizz” (with quotes to search for the exact phrase). Nothing. > > Just to be sure, I googled it with “steaming” instead of “steamin’.” Again nothing. > > I am extremely relieved. Nothing for just “fido jizz” either, I will report in the name of complete Googling. Cool braille “Google” header today, though. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/69 "2006-01-05T01:22:21Z")
Maybe it’s a cup of cow tools. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/70 "2006-01-05T01:26:04Z")
> [@](#): > > it may be time to buy the IT guys some scotch. Very good scotch. I am just guessing that you’ll want an Islay malt with fido jizz, as a Highland won’t hold its own. Again, just guessing. Cow tools is a different matter. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/71 "2006-01-05T01:31:29Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Maybe it’s a cup of cow tools. You had \*no right \* to make me laugh that hard. No right at all. I am also beginning to think that jokes are funnier relative to if you are drinking something which can be spewed across the keyboard and screen. The hotter and/or messier the liquid, the funnier the joke. Cow tools. _Right_ on. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/72 "2006-01-05T01:40:32Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Wasn’t there’s a _Peanuts_ cartoon that very week where Lucy guzzled Snoopy’s spooge? Maybe it was common at the time. Spooge??? Yeah, I think there was a great spit or swallow debate going on at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/73 "2006-01-05T02:35:27Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > I’ll show my wife the Garfield comic later without telling her what we think it is and get her “cold” impression of it. Okay, I showed this to my wife. She didn’t assume Jon was drinking dog semen; she just didn’t get it at all. She didn’t understand what was supposed to be funny and told me she doesn’t get most comics. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/74 "2006-01-05T02:50:52Z")
I showed it to a friend. Without prompting he saw “Jon drank dog jizz” as the most likely explanation of the joke. **tim314** wrote: > [@](#): > > Yep, here it is. > [http://www.garfield.com/comics/comi...l?1990-ga900530](http://www.garfield.com/comics/comi...l?1990-ga900530) The script needs a little reworking for clarity. Try this: Panel 1: Jon siezes cup and says, “Is this Irish Creme? It looks like dog jizz.” Panel 2: Jon slams a shot of dog jizz. Vet says, “It is dog jizz.” Panel 3: Vet says, “I pumped it out of Garfield’s stomach.” This news causes Jon to pucker at both ends. Garfield says, “So that’s what she stuck down my throat!” ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/75 "2006-01-05T02:57:04Z")
The strip did make me wonder what she was doing playing Spanking Mr. Fido near Garfield. Is that realization why his eyes are bugging out in the last panel? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/76 "2006-01-05T03:38:43Z")
[The original was much better…](http://web.acsalaska.net/~fmurtley/garfield01a.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/77 "2006-01-05T03:53:27Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > It was our class motto in High School. Ours too, but we used the Latin “Fuma vas sperma canis.” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/78 "2006-01-05T04:50:11Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > steamin’ cup of fido jizz. New from Starbucks! ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/79 "2006-01-05T09:05:17Z")
What the hell are cow tools? > [@RickJay](#): > > Ours too, but we used the Latin “Fuma vas sperma canis.” I originally ignored the words “the Latin” and read this in Spanish, and as you can imagine I had a devil of a time figuring out “The dog sperm smokes you go”. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/80 "2006-01-05T09:35:17Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > What the hell are cow tools? …My personal favourite!!! [http://www.salon.com/people/portfolio/1999/12/21/larson/older4.html](http://www.salon.com/people/portfolio/1999/12/21/larson/older4.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272.md?page=5)