# The "Garfield" Where Jon Drinks Dog Semen **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 3, 2006, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272 "2006-01-03T20:10:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/81 "2006-01-05T10:11:37Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > What the hell are cow tools? It’s an infamous Far Side cartoon (linked to by Banquet Bear) that’s well-known for being incomprehensible. Gary Larson said he got more questions from people who didn’t “get” that one than any other. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/82 "2006-01-05T12:11:00Z")
I figure it’s some sort of canine vitamins or something. If it was jizz, well, he wouldn’t have a litter by drinking it. And the fact that she specifies that it’s going to be a fine, healthy litter (as opposed to “Congrats, you’ll be having a litter of puppies soon!” suggests that it is something to ensure fine, healthy litters. \ ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/83 "2006-01-05T13:41:47Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > It’s an infamous Far Side cartoon (linked to by Banquet Bear) that’s well-known for being incomprehensible. Gary Larson said he got more questions from people who didn’t “get” that one than any other. Thank you dearly for that explanation. I’ve been up all night (forcing an all-niter to get my sleep cycle back on track) and when I clicked on that Far Side I just stared at it thinking how badly I need sleep. So, did Gary Larson ever respond? ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/84 "2006-01-05T13:46:52Z")
But, sleep or no sleep, this: > [@Fear Itself](#): > > [The original was much better…](http://web.acsalaska.net/~fmurtley/garfield01a.jpg) is freakin’ hilarious!!! ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/85 "2006-01-05T14:40:04Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > In fact a simple search of “fido jizz” returns nothing, indicating it’s suitability as a product name or trademark. For some reason, I see this as an “Elvis Sweat”-type product, some sort of white liquid in a jar. What the heck, make it an officially licensed product- you could put a picture of Garfield holding a cup of Garfield’s Fido Jizz™ on there with a thought bubble over his head reading “Straight from Odie to you!” ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/86 "2006-01-05T14:42:45Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Og bless you, HazelNutCoffee. > > What can I do to repay you? By cleansing my brain of the image of Jon drinking fido jizz. :dubious: I read that comic strip when I was a kid, and the possibility of it being dog sperm never crossed my mind at that tender age. I do remember what the hell it was suppose to be. I think I assumed that it was something to induce fertility in female dogs. Now that I look at it again, I can’t imagine that it’s anything but dog sperm. Ugh. Ugh. And ugh. Ah well. At least I have satisfied an inquiring mind. I shall take comfort. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/87 "2006-01-05T14:51:14Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > [The original was much better…](http://web.acsalaska.net/~fmurtley/garfield01a.jpg) I applaud you, **Fear Itself** ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/88 "2006-01-05T15:12:42Z")
> [@Moe](#): > > Thank you dearly for that explanation. I’ve been up all night (forcing an all-niter to get my sleep cycle back on track) and when I clicked on that Far Side I just stared at it thinking how badly I need sleep. > > So, did Gary Larson ever respond? I can’t dig up a direct quote now, but he did address the subject in one of his anthologies. It was just supposed to be weird in a funny way. If cows, who certainly don’t make tools because they don’t need them, made tools, what would they look like? Like, I dunno, if I drew a cartoon of a horse buying dental floss. It wouldn’t be funny for any _specific reason_; just the _concept_ of a horse buying dental floss would be funny. (Or wouldn’t, as the case may be. But the point still stands.) Readers of the cartoon, however, probably figured that there _had_ to be more than that in Larson’s comics, because usually there is. Therefore, there was much speculation and analyzing of what Larson \*actually \* meant by this comic, while he actually really just meant “cow tools”. ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/89 "2006-01-05T15:37:23Z")
Hey! They’re now talking about this on [http://www.fark.com](http://www.fark.com) ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/90 "2006-01-05T15:43:08Z")
You beat me to the link! But don’t tell anyone that I look at [Fark.com](http://Fark.com) as one of my “cruise around the web with my morning cup of tea” websites. ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/91 "2006-01-05T15:46:37Z")
> [@auRa](#): > > I can’t dig up a direct quote now, but he did address the subject in one of his anthologies. It was just supposed to be weird in a funny way. If cows, who certainly don’t make tools because they don’t need them, made tools, what would they look like? Like, I dunno, if I drew a cartoon of a horse buying dental floss. It wouldn’t be funny for any _specific reason_; just the _concept_ of a horse buying dental floss would be funny. (Or wouldn’t, as the case may be. But the point still stands.) Readers of the cartoon, however, probably figured that there _had_ to be more than that in Larson’s comics, because usually there is. Therefore, there was much speculation and analyzing of what Larson \*actually \* meant by this comic, while he actually really just meant “cow tools”. I have to admit, I just read your post, then took another look at the comic, looking first at the cow’s face, then the tools on the bench, back at the cow’s face, and finally brought my attention down to the caption on the bottom: “cow tools” and I can’t stop laughing. I seriously need some sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/92 "2006-01-05T16:13:43Z")
As I recall from the anthology, Larson said his major mistake (besides thinking it was funny)\*, was to make one of the “tools” resemble a handsaw. This made people try to decipher what the other three tools were. But, since they were just abstract forms, they didn’t have a chance in hell in that’s what _really_ confused folks. \*His words, not mine ---
**Author:** ![Birdmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@Birdmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Birdmonster)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/93 "2006-01-05T16:34:58Z")
I’m at work, but I’m pretty sure the “cow tools” explanation is in the Far Side Pre-History. You know…if anyone has it just lying around. But **Jophiel** got the general gist of it, methinks. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/94 "2006-01-05T16:47:55Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > Put all of this together and it’d be one hell of an act. But what to call it? 😃 Best comment of the thread! My favorite part of all this is when the webmaster for [garfield.com](http://garfield.com) notices a spike in hits on this cartoon and tracks it back to this thread and to fark. Oh, the joy! Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Birdmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@Birdmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Birdmonster)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/95 "2006-01-05T17:01:28Z")
I think our cover is blown. Jim Davis ain’t writing me back now. We will be forever in the dark…and booooy is it sticky. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/96 "2006-01-05T17:22:47Z")
> [@filmore](#): > > Hey! They’re now talking about this on [http://www.fark.com](http://www.fark.com) More specifically, [here](http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1841540). ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/97 "2006-01-05T18:26:27Z")
Drat. I wish I would’a thought of posting it to Fark… …sez the fark-liter w. three greenlights to his name. I guess I’ve used up my allotment until I pony up the five bucks for TF…and alas, that ain’t gonna happen anytime soon. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/98 "2006-01-05T19:18:09Z")
I hate to say it, but you guys are wicked overanalyzing this strip. I doubt Davis ever got anywhere near conceptualizing what was in the cup. He just started with the punchline and worked backwards, in a slapdash way. Lazy bugger. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/99 "2006-01-05T19:19:38Z")
> [@Savannah](#): > > But don’t tell anyone that I look at [Fark.com](http://Fark.com) as one of my “cruise around the web with my morning cup of tea” websites. OK. Your secret is safe with me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272/100 "2006-01-05T19:20:52Z")
> [@Sal Ammoniac](#): > > I hate to say it, but you guys are wicked overanalyzing this strip. I doubt Davis ever got anywhere near conceptualizing what was in the cup. He just started with the punchline and worked backwards, in a slapdash way. Lazy bugger. I’d hate to imagine how _else_ John would end up carrying puppies! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-garfield-where-jon-drinks-dog-semen/338272.md?page=6)