# The Gauntlet has been thrown! Justin Bieber vs Tom Cruise, in the Octogon... who wins? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 10, 2019, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297 "2019-06-10T13:55:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/1 "2019-06-10T13:55:34Z")
So, this is now a thing, courtesy of Justin Bieber: > “I wanna challenge Tom Cruise to fight in the octagon. Tom if you dont take this fight your scared and you will never live it down. Who is willing to put on the fight? @danawhite ?” Rules: 1. 6 months to prepare - this is happening Christmas Day, as a gift to all of us. 2. No weapons - just pure hand-to-hand. Gloves, cups, etc, are fine. 3. If you wish to explore different styles… like you think Tom would… cruise… to a win in MMA, but Justin might win a boxing match… that’s fine too. But the poll is pretty binary. 4. Hi Opal! 5. Poll, like always, is public. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/2 "2019-06-10T13:58:19Z")
Cruise is an old man so Bieber should have a physical advantage. Both of them are morons so I’d called it a draw on the mental aspects. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/3 "2019-06-10T14:00:21Z")
Yeah, I was going to mention Cruise’s age, too. I mean, there are some 56-year-olds who can beat some 20somethings in a fight, so we can’t rule it out, but we have no particular reason to expect that this is one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/4 "2019-06-10T14:09:22Z")
Does either one of them have any combat sport experience? If so, that person. If not, Bieber. He’s younger and taller. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/5 "2019-06-10T14:09:59Z")
Tom needs food … badly. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/6 "2019-06-10T14:12:42Z")
Cruise may be older but I would wager he is in much better physical condition. Watch Mission Impossible: Fallout - Cruise did all the stunts. Has Bieber ever thrown a punch, real or pretend? ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/7 "2019-06-10T14:19:54Z")
Bieber misspelled “you’re”, so I hope Tom beats his dumb ass to a pulp. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/8 "2019-06-10T14:22:09Z")
It’s like 2016! They’re _saying_ “Bieber”, but _voting_ “Cruise”! ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/9 "2019-06-10T14:42:51Z")
Bieber would get an epic ass-kicking if Cruise ever actually acknowledged the challenge and accepted it. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/10 "2019-06-10T14:45:34Z")
I did vote Bieber, but one point in Cruise’s favor is that Bieber is the one who issued the challenge. There’s a negative correlation between the sort of person who issues such challenges and the sort of person who actually wins them. This may be somewhat mitigated by the strong possibility that Bieber’s challenge was intended as a joke. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/11 "2019-06-10T14:48:45Z")
Don’t fight the hypothetical! 😛 Cruise would just intense it up to 11. Bieber would treat it like a joke. Cruise, easily. ---
**Author:** ![GreedySmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GreedySmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreedySmurf)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/12 "2019-06-10T14:55:49Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > Cruise may be older but I would wager he is in much better physical condition. Watch Mission Impossible: Fallout - Cruise did all the stunts. Has Bieber ever thrown a punch, real or pretend? That’s what I was going to reference. Cruise has got to be in great shape from all those action flicks, and I would think a passing familiarity with martial arts, again from training for those type of scenes. Yes that’s no comparison to actual combat training, yet would be a step above Beiber I would think. Given those advantages I think Cruise would want to go for a quick bout, within the next month, don’t give Bieber 6 months to prepare. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/13 "2019-06-10T14:57:19Z")
Sorry, this is the Christmas gift mankind has been waiting for for 2,000 years. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/14 "2019-06-10T15:05:27Z")
This isn’t even a question for me. Bieber, of course. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/15 "2019-06-10T15:06:14Z")
> [@GreedySmurf](#): > > Given those advantages I think Cruise would want to go for a quick bout, within the next month, don’t give Bieber 6 months to prepare. I was thinking the opposite. If Tom had 6 months, he would spend the next 6 months in serious training, while Justin would dick around. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/16 "2019-06-10T15:14:37Z")
Bieber has never been in a real fight in his life. Cruise probably hasn’t either. For any street fight or even an inexperienced MMA fight always go with whoever is craziest… Tom IS batshit crazy! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/17 "2019-06-10T15:15:03Z")
\*\*\*I \*\*\*was saying Boo-ber… ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/18 "2019-06-10T15:20:40Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > I was thinking the opposite. If Tom had 6 months, he would spend the next 6 months in serious training, while Justin would dick around. That’s how I see it. On top of being passionate and dedicated, Cruise is _crazy_. All my money on Mav. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/19 "2019-06-10T15:32:57Z")
Cruise against Matt Damon or Keanu Reeves, that would be interesting. Cruise against some _street punk?_:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2019, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297/20 "2019-06-10T15:47:39Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Don’t fight the hypothetical! 😛 Look, I know this is all hypothetical. It has to be. I mean if it wasn’t and with the government and the world running the way they are, I’d start to think I was in a coma-induced nightmarish Hell otherwise. That said, I’m going to spoiler box my response just so it doesn’t detract from the ‘fun’ of the game, Ok? Just skip past it, it won’t affect betting results or odds. I realize that this answer is boring… but… must I choose? Couldn’t I just point and laugh instead…? Think of it… two people who make their living off of their faces trying to pound the flesh on each other’s faces into cheap ribeye steak? The jobs of entire production companies in the balance? At least one bloodied loser being dragged away at the end screaming (in a voice breaking like a 14 year old going through puberty) “I’m gonna Sue you! I’m gonna Sue you…!” I mean, I may watch a train wreck, but I won’t bet on it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gauntlet-has-been-thrown-justin-bieber-vs-tom-cruise-in-the-octogon-who-wins/835297.md?page=2)