I’m gay, I’m 50 years old, and I’ve been “out” since I was 20. The only gay lisp I’ve ever heard is the sibilant “s” variety. I don’t speak that way myself, but I can mimic it to near perfection. I’ve never known a gay man who had the classic “th” version of the lisp. I’ve never associated that particular affliction with sexual orientation, whereas the sibilant “s” almost screams “QUEEN.”
The next time you hear someone who sounds “gay” to you, listen carefully. You won’t hear a “lithp.” Trust me, what you’ll hear, if you really pay attention, is the “lissssp.”
I don’t call lisssssp a lisp. Lisp to me means lithp. I have never heard a gay man lithp, either in person or on tv. I’ll grant the sibilant sss, but I can’t distinguish it from regular s.
What makes the gay sound to me is the soft voice, not so much high but a certain tone I can’t quite describe. Also a bit gaspy - “Whell, if hthat’s the hway you feel.” Think Jack on Will and Grace.
The problem is some men have effeminate traits and are not gay, and some men are gay and don’t have effeminate traits, but many gay men effect effeminate traits as part of the culture. You can even be gay and have effeminate traits that are not on purpose.
Oh, regarding the lithp jokes, could that not be a circular thing? Someone hears that gays speak with a lisp. Not knowing what a “gay lisp” is, they make up a joke and use the only lisp they know of.
I have noticed an affected manner of speaking in gay women sometimes, but it’s not a lisp. It’s more of a “resonance” and flatness to the voice. It’s very difficult to describe, but I know it when I hear it. Not “contralto”, but close.
Ever noticed the “lesbian laugh”? Something like “har har har”
I wish I could describe it better. I’ll trick my friend into laughing on Monday, and pay more attention.
I’ve never noticed it before, but now that you’ve mentioned it, I can hear it in my mind! Definitely not a universal thing, either, but I definitely know what you’re talking about.
I wonder what it’s like for women who appear too masculine, even though they’re straight. It can’t be too pleasant for them, either. On the other hand, are their any gay folks who somehow act too “straight,” such that they slip under gay people’s “gaydar,” have their gay friends tell them, “I always thought you were straight,” etc.? Is it difficult for them?
All over rural America there are women, often seen in plaid shirts and jeans (think Ann Richards, of Texas) who in the big city might be mistaken for lesbian.
Normally, I would agree with the “picking it up from the culture” theory. Heck, y’all should see what spending four years in Southern Missouri has done to my otherwise normal accent. I do know at least one gay guy that had ALL of the sterotypically gay mannerisms, including the overly dramatic “lissspy” speech, before he spent any time around the gay community. I’ve always wondered if he acted like that as a way to “out himself” without actually outing himself, or if it was just natural to him. Any thoughts?
I knew a boy in elementary school who had almost all the stereotypically gay mannerisms (theatrical speech, effeminate walk and laugh, avid Madonna worship :D). Many of them were present since I first knew him (when he was about 6). He went to a different high school, but when I later heard from a girl who was still friends with him that he had come out, I wasn’t surprised at all, only surprised at the fact that I hadn’t realized earlier that he was gay. I guess this doesn’t necessarily indicate that any of the “gay” mannerisms are inborn, but it shows that they can develop very early.
