# The Gems **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 8, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836 "2000-02-08T17:04:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/21 "2000-02-11T00:49:00Z")
From WallyM7 in “Brithael V Byzantine” in the Pit. This was one of the funniest threads I’ve read so far, but Wally slayed me with these two: Our friend the Chief In his customary patter, Accuses Brithael Of ingesting fecal matter, Brithael sputters, in fits and starts, And claims he does it To increase his smarts. And, later in that thread… Is there no hope for Brithael? Can he not redeem himself in some way? Is the road to rehabilitation, painstakingly slow though it may be, completely closed to him? Can you not join hands, open your hearts and reach out to him? It’s true that I can’t be a part of this process because I don’t want anything to do with the fucking putz, but you seem like a kindly group. Remember, he had an unhappy childhood. His mother wouldn’t breast feed him. She said she needed the milk for the cats. Or do you just want to find him and kill him? I’d be okay with that. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/22 "2000-02-11T04:27:00Z")
Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor, Boris’ family hospitality, BBQ: > [@](#): > > Boris! Boris! I am your father, Boris! Come over to the Dark Side of the Force! We have cookies. Does that damn Ben Kenobi have cookies? HELL NO! He didn’t give ME any cookies, not even when I was a kid, way back in Episode One! TVeblen, same thread: > [@](#): > > Boris, Boris, Boris… > Forget the cookies, m’kay? Do you see any cookies forthcoming? Chocolate chip? Girl Scout Thin Mints? Snorking down dough straight out of the bowl (though I understand some people actually bake them), warm, snuggly oatmeal/craisin, molasses, sugar w/ sprinkles? > > No, you don’t! The familial cookie seduction is a lure and a chimera! > > Boris…listen to your inner child. On second thought, don’t, because that’s what causes this mess in the first place. This is the Pit, the place for brutal truths: > > There are no cookies forthcoming! > > Please, for your own sake, ignore the disembodied pervert who has figured prominently in the previous posts. He is not your father and he does not have any snack foods you couldn’t buy at the local gas-and-munchies emporium. > > Sheesh, this is beginning to feel like (forgive the analogy) a familial tug of war, but poor Boris is the metaphorical turkey wishbone. > > Back off, putz. You think Boris can be seduced to the dark side by mere cookies?! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/23 "2000-02-11T04:54:00Z")
If you like this thread, you’d probably enjoy the [Page O Flames](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flames.html) * * * – “it’s all real” “I KNEW IT!!!” O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![PatronAnejo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac8455/32.png) [@PatronAnejo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatronAnejo)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/24 "2000-02-11T09:31:00Z")
[The question (posted by **chongo** )](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/004655.html): > [@](#): > > Does anyone happen to know why this particular preparation method is referred to as “corning” and not pickling? It is my understanding that brine is used to “corn” the beef. I just don’t understand what corn has to do with any of this? The response (posted by **FixedBack** ): > [@](#): > > IMHO, the “corning” of the beef doesn’t refer to the treatment of the beef MEAT, but to the feeding of the beef ANIMAL. > Corn fed beef as opposed to pastured beef. ---
**Author:** ![PatronAnejo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac8455/32.png) [@PatronAnejo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatronAnejo)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/25 "2000-02-11T09:41:00Z")
He wasn’t kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/26 "2000-02-11T16:45:00Z")
From [this thread](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000485.html) about evolution: **Irishman** _Now I’ll let David B. get back to you. I’m sure he’ll enjoy this one._ **Healym** _Who is David B? Please don’t sick some creationist on me- I’ve had it up to here with dinosaur tracks, the fourth law of thermodynamics, and lunar dust._ DavidB the creationist. I don’t want him sicced on me either. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/27 "2000-02-11T16:59:00Z")
From the “20 Questions Game for UncleBeer” thread: Athena: Is it a moosecock? I didn’t get it at the time. Someone told me the joke a week later at which point it all made sense and was really freakin’ funny. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/28 "2000-02-11T17:07:00Z")
## In [this thread](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001237.html) about the deaths surrounding President Clinton **Krispy Original** > [@](#): > > However, these sites claim the ‘Clinton body count’ or ‘Clinton death list’ is not just urban legend _I think that the best evidence we have that this is not true is that even I don’t believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/29 "2000-02-12T06:00:00Z")
Mojo, maybe you can explain it me then, because I still don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/30 "2000-02-12T06:56:00Z")
Two Canadians are sitting in a bar, drinking and passing the time. They’re a bit bored so they decide to play 20 questions. The first guy really wants to stump the other guy so he thinks of something esoteric- a moose cock. Once he’s thought of it, he says “OK, I’m ready to play”. The second guy asks his first question- “Is it good to eat?” The first guy starts laughing and says “Ummmmmm…sure…I guess you could eat it.” “Is it a moosecock?” Forgive me if I ruin it in the retelling- I was laughing too hard to remember all the details. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/31 "2000-02-11T19:02:00Z")
😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/32 "2000-02-11T20:05:00Z")
Ah… jokes at the expense of Canadians. I don’t know about **UncleBeer** , but I am not amused. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/33 "2000-02-12T03:24:00Z")
JohnLarrigan wrote: > [@](#): > > pldennison flaming KGB - in one of the Sock-Puppet theatre treads: > > “Bite my Crank you cum-burping gutter slut” I’m almost 100% sure that pldennison got that phrase from _The Dysfunctional Family Circus_ – one of my favorite forms of web entertainment, until Bil Keane’s lawyers discovered its existence. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/34 "2000-02-12T04:11:00Z")
I hate to toot my own horn, but I _have_ to take credit for this: > [@](#): > > \This site is more addictive than caramel-covered crack!\ That just plain rocks. I know I know, teeming millions in chorus: “Get over Yourself!” I just thought that was cool. But credit where credit is due, I read that quote in Maxim, in reference to something else entirely. Noonch. * * * how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking… VvvV ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/35 "2000-02-12T15:23:00Z")
## Wow. There go my chances of ever winning that **“Shameless Self Promotion” Award** … **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/36 "2000-02-12T15:25:00Z")
## Wow. There go my chances of ever winning that **“Shameless Self Promotion” Award** … **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/37 "2000-02-12T15:28:00Z")
Although a lot of double posting might be interpreted as **Shameless Self Promotion** as well!! _**Coldfire! Coldfire! Coldfire! C - O - L - D - F - I - R - E !!**_ OK OK, I’ll stop now 😃 * * * **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/38 "2000-02-12T15:30:00Z")
Coldfire? Who’s he? 😉 * * * “I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/39 "2000-02-12T15:32:00Z")
I don’t even remember the thread, but Gaudere won my heart with: For some reason, I cannot join in the praise of the insane trolls. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2000, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836/40 "2000-02-15T20:36:00Z")
## Me: \< long rant at Palidors deleted \> your mother will screw me your coffin. Me: (In the next post)Err, screw me on your coffin, I mean. ## Weirdest correction I ever had to make. WallyM7: > [@](#): > > screw me on your coffin ## No. I found it amazing how funny a single word could be. –John * * * Wo de qianzi shi Zhongwende. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gems/13836.md?page=3)