# The GIANT JESUS
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 29, 2004, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203 "2004-11-29T20:14:49Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/61 "2004-12-02T15:00:06Z")
> [@Cherry2000](#):
>
> And let us not forget the ever-popular Christ on a Pony statue š
Oooh! You could finance the project by making plush toys for kids and call them āMy Little Christ on a Ponyā!
---
### Author:  [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/62 "2004-12-02T15:01:01Z")
He needs a sign in his hands that says, āI liveā¦again!ā
---
### Author:  [@Theodore\_Striker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theodore_Striker)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2004, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/63 "2004-12-02T15:09:55Z")
What no one else has mentioned is that the roof Solid Rock is lined in blue neon lighting, and also sports a large flashing highway-side sign that is visible at least a half a mile away. The GJ is also rising from the bed of a drained rectangular pond, which I presume may be filled again in the spring, after GJ has time to put down roots.
---
### Author:  [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/64 "2004-12-02T18:14:27Z")
As evidenced by my location, I live just a few miles from this monstrosity. To call it the scariest most hideous and just plain wrong fucking thing I have ever seen is an understatement. Everything about it is ugly from the facial expression to the postion of the arms to the cross lying on the ground beside it.
It is depicted from the waist up and there is supposed to be a reflecting/baptismal pond in front of it. I can hardly wait.
The most hypocritical part is that the Bishopās are simply not very nice people. They are tacky and garish and their multi multi million dollar church, house and horse stables are equally so.
The general consensus is that the church is a front for his horse farm/drug business. Mr Bishop (Larry) was convicted of smuggling illegal performance inhancing drugs via the horseās GI tract several years ago and I believe he spent prison time for it.
Yet, they were so self righteous they formed a committee (The citizens for decency?) to try to ban the building of a Hustler store a couple of miles from their church. Of course they were unsuccessful so they did the next best thing; members of their church picketed the store and hurled insults as customers entered and existed the store (Sinnners! you are going straight to hell on a greased pole)
I am ashamed to live in this area anymore.
---
### Author:  [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/65 "2004-12-02T20:17:34Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#):
>
> Oh yeah, anybody else notice that [dudeās wife](http://www.darlenebishop.org/bio.html) missed her calling as a 60s album cover model?
I love the part where it says āin March of 1986 Darlene was physically attacked with sickness in her body but was miraculously healed by June of that same yearā
Uhm, OK. Iāve got terrible lungs, always have and about twice a year I become so ill that I have to go on medical leave for weeks at a time. I always thought I got better because I took my medicine and treatments and gave my body time to heal.
Do you think Iāve been getting miraculously healed all this time and just didnāt know it? :rolleyes:
---
### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/66 "2004-12-08T20:04:04Z")
> [@jjimm](#):
>
> Itās 2330 feet above sea level, being perched on a mountain. Itās actually āonlyā 38 metres tall, whatever that is in US units. 150 feet?
Not to be outdone by the damned colonists, Lisbon erected a [110 meter tall Jesus](http://www.surrey.ac.uk/eng/gallery/bridges/bridge11.jpg) near the bridge that spans the Tejo River. 110 meters tall including the pedestal, Iām assuming.
---
### Author:  [@Aagramn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aagramn)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2004, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/67 "2004-12-08T20:10:59Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#):
>
> Thatās creepy. He looks like Heās just burst out of the ground.
Effective though. Iām not religious, but if I saw that when I was driving down the road _Iād_ start praying.
---
### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/68 "2004-12-08T20:23:07Z")
Jesus needs a trident.
---
### Author:  [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/69 "2004-12-08T20:26:15Z")
That cross is totally not to scale. Thereās not way you could fit the Giant Jesus on there (or even the Giant Half of a Jesus). Itās like they must have crucified the Baby Jesus instead.
---
### Author:  [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/70 "2004-12-08T20:31:46Z")
Also, I just realized why the facial features are so disturbing:
āWhat would [_God_](http://www.ponilla.org/Nimoy/Movies-ST/ST-FF_29_t.jpg) need with a [giant statue of himself](http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/OHMONjesus.html)?ā
---
### Author:  [@Theodore\_Striker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theodore_Striker)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/71 "2004-12-08T20:33:34Z")
Apparently, the Giant Jesus has been resurrectedā¦ or the Giant Jesus thread at leastā¦
---
### Author:  [@Pez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pez)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/72 "2004-12-08T22:43:19Z")
> [@jjimm](#):
>
> Singing:
>
> I donāt care if it rains or freezes
> As long as Iāve got my 2330-foot Jesus
> Sittinā on the dashboard of my carā¦
Well, I can only remember one song with these (appx) lyrics, and that is **Plastic Jesus** by (rev) _Mojo Nixon and Jello Biafra_. Just love the song. Even better is their **Are you drinkinā with me Jesus** which includes the immortal lines of
_I know you can walk on the water,
but can you walk on this much beer_
Mojo has a few Jesus-songs, f.ex. **Iām living with a 3 foot anti-christ** and **Jesus at McDonalds**
[Mojo at www.allmusic.com](http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=ADFEAEE47F1BDF46A57520CB962F45CDE623A25AFE5AFB86112F0456D3B82D60AB3C2FF94DE5AC81B0F86ABC66ADFF2EA0160AD9CEEB5CF9DE765D40&sql=11:k8jgtq5ztu44~T1) I hope
---
### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/73 "2004-12-09T00:23:22Z")
> [@Pez](#):
>
> Well, I can only remember one song with these (appx) lyrics, and that is **Plastic Jesus** by (rev) _Mojo Nixon and Jello Biafra_.
Mojoās great, but _Plastic Jesus_ is a Gold Coast Singers original from 1960.
Most people probably associate it with the movie _Cool Hand Luke_, though-- Paul Newman sang it in that fine film.
---
### Author:  [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2004, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/74 "2004-12-09T00:32:16Z")
Jesus Christ, king of the [Muffler Men?](http://www.roadsideamerica.com/muffler/)
---
### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/75 "2004-12-09T00:47:20Z")
Apparently, he [doesnāt even rate](http://www.roadsideamerica.com/roger/QueryMMan.php3). A MufflerMan search with ājesusā as the keyword only turns up one result:
> [@](#):
>
> Monticello, Kentucky - **Muffler Man in my back yard.**
>
> I have a small ax for him. _I have thought about trying to change him into a Jesus Christ for my church,_ but for now I have him on my back deck. I have thought about selling him but Iām not sure. I closed my business and moved him to my house. [Nick Catron, 11/14/2003]
>
> Directions: Take Hwy. 90 West to Hwy. 1546(Murl Road). Go 3 miles look left. On my back deck in the back yard. Next to Rectorās Flat Baptist Church.
I guess it might come in handy to have a reliable carpenter installed on your deck.
---
### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2004, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/76 "2004-12-09T02:49:41Z")
Oddly enough, none of those songs are by **MC 900 Foot Jesus**.
---
### Author:  [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/77 "2004-12-09T03:04:41Z")
> [@DeadlyAccurate](#):
>
> He needs a sign in his hands that says, āI liveā¦again!ā
āBrains, _brains!_ā
---
### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/78 "2004-12-09T03:54:31Z")
Then thereās the **Touchdown Jesus,** visible from inside the football stadium at the University of Notre Dame.
[http://feeds.foxsports.com/story/3168950](http://feeds.foxsports.com/story/3168950)
They used to say, āin South Bend,ā but now itās Notre Dame, IN, with its own zip code.
---
### Author:  [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2004, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/79 "2004-12-09T07:57:33Z")
> [@The Mermaid](#):
>
> ā¦ miraculously healed by June ā¦"
Who is this? Jesusā sister? June, daughter of Godā¦
---
### Author:  [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2004, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203/80 "2004-12-09T16:30:43Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#):
>
> That cross is totally not to scale. Thereās not way you could fit the Giant Jesus on there (or even the Giant Half of a Jesus). Itās like they must have crucified the Baby Jesus instead.
The names you use are confusing. Can we just call them Jeezilla and Jeezookie instead?
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203.md?page=3)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giant-jesus/277203.md?page=5)