# The girl in my bed and I pumped three times when all was said and done.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 28, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132 "2003-08-28T04:41:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/41 "2003-08-28T18:41:50Z")
One pump, two pump, three pump, go, roll over and get some sleep.
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### Author:  [@Undead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Undead)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/42 "2003-08-28T19:38:55Z")
“Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!”
Does no one else do that chant? Or they just shake their fist twice and throw?
As a sidenote I am the king of Rock Paper Scissors and haven’t lost a match in rougly 5 years.
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### Author:  [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/43 "2003-08-28T19:43:29Z")
Rock (once)
Paper(two)
Scissors (three)
Shoot
So you do your thing on the 4th shot
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### Author:  [@Dawne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dawne)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/44 "2003-08-28T19:55:21Z")
It’s a lot easier if you play monkey bat fish, you know. What do you mean you’ve never heard of it? It’s really quite common in these parts.
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### Author:  [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/45 "2003-08-28T20:13:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Knowed Out \*
> \*\*Anybody ever throw dynamite into the mix? It was a thumbs up.
>
> Dynamite beats rock because it blows it up
> Likewise for paper
> Scissors beats dynamite because it cuts the fuse
>
> Did that as a kid, but never saw dynamite used since. \*\*
Yes! I can’t recall all the permutations, but I distinctly remember playing. Rock, Paper, Scissors, DYNAMITE! Much more exciting than plain old RPS.
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### Author:  [@Garnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garnet)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/46 "2003-08-28T20:56:49Z")
The way I played it, eventually I got up to having not only dynamite, but “super rock”, “super scissors”, “super paper”, bowl of sulphuric acid, and probably some others too. I don’t remember the idiosyncratic rule-system that went along with it though, and that’s probably for the better.
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### Author:  [@Saxman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saxman)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/47 "2003-08-28T20:59:37Z")
One more for “Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!”
All y’all who don’t do that are just plain weird.
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### Author:  [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/48 "2003-08-28T21:03:57Z")
and morally corrupt. Don’t forget morally corrupt.
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### Author:  [@NotWithoutRage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotWithoutRage)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/49 "2003-08-28T21:11:01Z")
Another for three pumps. Three little words, three pumps.
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### Author:  [@Deathstatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deathstatic)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/50 "2003-08-28T21:12:33Z")
Two pumps… chumps
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### Author:  [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/51 "2003-08-28T21:21:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Yes! I can’t recall all the permutations, but I distinctly remember playing. Rock, Paper, Scissors, DYNAMITE! Much more exciting than plain old RPS.
I remember this one too, along with some others we just made up. This game really has come a long way, hasn’t it, from when cavemen just played “Rock-rock-rock”? (Granted, strategy was a little underdeveloped in that version… ;))
And BTW, I’ve always known it to be 2 pumps – “1, 2, go”.
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### Author:  [@Malice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malice)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/52 "2003-08-28T21:35:14Z")
It’s two pumps then go.
As with jokes (premise-pattern-punchline) and stories (Act I- Act II-Act III climax), the third pump delivers the goods and ends the show. Practically, the first two throws are only there to establish proper timing between participants. A third pump is not necessary for most people to synchronize properly. YMMV.
Our three-pump bretheren see value in extending the game, but to me the third pump needlessly prolongs the ride without adding any drama.
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### Author:  [@Svt4Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svt4Him)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/53 "2003-08-28T21:55:30Z")
One two go…
Jan…ken…pon! (the go part when playing with a Japanese person, which is two then go)
ata muchi hoy (again, go on the third one.) (excuse my massacre of the language)
So it’s the third. Unless you’re playing with my son, and he goes right after he sees what you’re doing.
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### Author:  [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/54 "2003-08-28T23:23:12Z")
Can someonewho thinks they are right (they aren’t) in the “two-pump and go” crows care to explain _why_ it’s two? We have a very good reason as to why it’s three (two good reasons, actually.) The first being that there are three choices, one pump for each choice, and then you throw down what you pick. The other explaination is that you say along with it “Rock, Scissors, Paper, SHOOT” and shooting on shoot, after THREE pumps. There is just no justifiable reason for two pumps, other than being a neanderthal who, maybe due to his sloping forehead and non-erect status, simply cannot count past three, and must therefore shoot on three, for fear of pumping forever, not knowing what number he is at, and, eventually, dying. Those poor poor bastards.
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### Author:  [@Olive\_The\_Other\_Reindeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olive_The_Other_Reindeer)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/55 "2003-08-28T23:32:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Knowed Out \*
> \*\*Anybody ever throw dynamite into the mix? \*\*
How about “Rock, Paper, 1920’s-style Death Ray”?
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### Author:  [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/56 "2003-08-28T23:44:09Z")
It’s Roshambo.
Ro sham bo!
1
2
go!
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### Author:  [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/57 "2003-08-29T00:02:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _bouv_
> Can someonewho thinks they are right (they aren’t) in the “two-pump and go” crows care to explain why it’s two? We have a very good reason as to why it’s three (two good reasons, actually.) The first being that there are three choices, one pump for each choice, and then you throw down what you pick.
Well, being that **three** is, in fact, the ideal number – it totals out to three “pumps”. The first two as a wind up, and the third to finish it. “Pump, pump, GO” – grand total of 3.
Three pumps and “go” gives a grand total of 4 thrusts of the fist, and you’ve now exceeded the ideal number. Remember, thou shalt count to 3, no more, no less, and the number of the total counting shall be 3. Thou shalt not count to 4, nor shalt thou count to 2, except to proceed on to 3.
Five is RIGHT OUT.
😃
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### Author:  [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/58 "2003-08-29T00:29:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> How about “Rock, Paper, 1920’s-style Death Ray”?
So what beats the Death Ray?
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### Author:  [@Nekosoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nekosoft)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/59 "2003-08-29T00:58:13Z")
The jar of pickles beats the Death Ray.
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### Author:  [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-girl-in-my-bed-and-i-pumped-three-times-when-all-was-said-and-done/198132/60 "2003-08-29T01:04:44Z")
“Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT” Three pumps and then show your hand.
Morally corrupt, **Standup Karmic**? No, that would imply morals existed to be corrupted. Morally bankrupt, I say. Downright scrofulous. Scandalous, ridiculous, devoid of value and just plain poopy, too.
Oops, I used the P-word. **lieu** should be along shortly.
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