# "The Giving Tree" - What a horrible lesson it teaches **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 19, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190 "2012-09-19T16:58:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![K\_S\_and\_Me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/91b2a8/32.png) [@K\_S\_and\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K_S_and_Me)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/101 "2013-11-20T02:24:28Z")
My wife reads this book to our two children and I have to say that I hate when she does every time. I think people are missing the underlying messages that this book teaches. I get that it is a story about unconditional love but it also teaches that you can take whatever you want and you don’t even have to say thank you! If this is a metaphor for parent/child relationship, it should be teaching us how not to raise our kids. It also teaches children that they don’t have to work for anything and they’ll be given whatever they want. My favorite part is the fact that the boy kills the tree, doesn’t even say thank you and then goes there to die. If I was the tree I would shoved that stump straight up his ass. If you don’t want your child to be a spoiled brat, don’t be like the tree. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/102 "2013-11-20T06:15:36Z")
The boy helped that tree fulfill it’s destiny. Should have let the apples fall to the ground and rot? IIRC he made a boat out the wood and sailed the world. Should he have stayed home and sat under the shade? And the tree was happy. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/103 "2013-11-20T09:10:22Z")
> [@Jas09](#): > > Don’t even get me started on Hop On Pop! > [@Skammer](#): > > Stop! You must not hop on Pop! > [@Lightray](#): > > I’ve always kind of wanted to ask one of them which Giving Tree gave them the lumber for that cross they keep nailing themselves up on for everyone to see. > [@Rachellelogram](#): > > But if I ever had a kid who got lumber from a \*talking tree \*for such frivolous reasons, I’d be sending him back to the tree to pick a switch! > [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Come boy. > Come sit down. > Sit down and rest. > And the boy did. > > And the tree was happy. > > Because it stuck a huge splinter in the boy’s ass and he died of septicemia. I just had to say that, even though this thread is a zombie, all these responses (plus a few others) had me literally laughing out loud very loudly. Thanks, from the grave! ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/104 "2013-11-20T20:52:56Z")
I read this book to my son growing up. Now he is an adult and says his take on the book was the tree was like a clingy parent. The boy spent his youth playing in and around the tree and eating apples and whatever. But when it came time for him to move on the tree couldn’t handle it and offered to do anything to keep the boy from growing up and moving on. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/105 "2013-11-20T20:55:51Z")
I know as a child I found the book disturbing, but I couldn’t express why. I’ve since talked with a lot of adults who had a similar experience. It does, I think, a decent job of explaining to children how their parents’ love for them requires sacrifices, and maybe they shouldn’t be horrible little devils about it. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/106 "2013-11-20T22:47:42Z")
Oh, we’re hating on Giving Tree again? That time of year, I guess. This time around, I introduce my newest favorite shirt. [Improved Abridged Version](http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/3/2/9/9/3/9/webimg/709328442_o.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![K\_S\_and\_Me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/91b2a8/32.png) [@K\_S\_and\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K_S_and_Me)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/107 "2013-11-21T19:29:10Z")
Lasciel that is the perfect pic to describe what the tree should say to the little boy, its certainly what my mom said to me. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/108 "2013-11-21T19:40:42Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I know as a child I found the book disturbing, but I couldn’t express why. I’ve since talked with a lot of adults who had a similar experience. It does, I think, a decent job of explaining to children how their parents’ love for them requires sacrifices, and maybe they shouldn’t be horrible little devils about it. Indeed. I kind of see The Giving Tree as a parable that is intended to shame those who take advantage of other folks’ kindness which is giving in love. Those folks are supposed to say, oh crap, I’m like the boy. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/109 "2013-11-21T19:47:38Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > Oh, we’re hating on Giving Tree again? That time of year, I guess. > > This time around, I introduce my newest favorite shirt. [Improved Abridged Version](http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/3/2/9/9/3/9/webimg/709328442_o.jpg) But what if the kid becomes a lumberjack? ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/110 "2013-11-21T23:43:55Z")
> [@K\_S\_and\_Me](#): > > My wife reads this book to our two children and I have to say that I hate when she does every time. I think people are missing the underlying messages that this book teaches. Agreed. > [@](#): > > I get that it is a story about unconditional love but it also teaches that you can take whatever you want and you don’t even have to say thank you! It does? > [@](#): > > If this is a metaphor for parent/child relationship, it should be teaching us how not to raise our kids. It should? > [@](#): > > It also teaches children that they don’t have to work for anything and they’ll be given whatever they want. It does? > [@](#): > > My favorite part is the fact that the boy kills the tree, doesn’t even say thank you and then goes there to die. If I was the tree I would shoved that stump straight up his ass. If you don’t want your child to be a spoiled brat, don’t be like the tree. So there you go. The message of the book is “Be exactly like the boy!” Or is it “Be exactly like the tree!” Because there’s no way a character could exist in a book unless the author intended for the audience to emulate the character. The story is a fable, not an etiquette manual for kids. I understand that there are lots and lots of children’s stories that really are instruction manuals to teach kids to share or brush their teeth or look both ways before crossing the street, or not to suck their thumbs or else a wandering tailor might cut them off with scissors. This story is not one of those stories. As I said before, it is a story about a tree that kills itself in futile attempt to please a self centered jerk of a boy. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2013, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/111 "2013-11-22T14:31:53Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Agreed. > > It does? > > It should? > > It does? > So there you go. The message of the book is “Be exactly like the boy!” Or is it “Be exactly like the tree!” Because there’s no way a character could exist in a book unless the author intended for the audience to emulate the character. > > The story is a fable, not an etiquette manual for kids. I understand that there are lots and lots of children’s stories that really are instruction manuals to teach kids to share or brush their teeth or look both ways before crossing the street, or not to suck their thumbs or else a wandering tailor might cut them off with scissors. This story is not one of those stories. > > As I said before, it is a story about a tree that kills itself in futile attempt to please a self centered jerk of a boy. It’s a fable in which the message is left deliberately ambiguous, so that people can (and quite clearly do) read into it different messages. In this, it succeeeds brilliantly, which is why so very many people disagree so very much over what it “really” means, and even those who really truly hate it find it very memorable. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/112 "2013-11-22T14:49:28Z")
I don’t hate it or agree with it, I never even read it or knew about it until this thread. That being said, I love that shirt. “Get a job!” indeed ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190/113 "2013-11-22T15:14:10Z")
**Manda JO** said it best (a year ago): > [@MandaJo](#): > > I also think it’s really incorrect to suggest that the book is advocating that the reader emulate either character. > > Literature is supposed to use narrative to express things about human nature and relationships that can’t be expressed through expository. For me, there is something true about the relationship between the tree and the boy, something authentic for all that it’s unfortunate. I think kids deserve literature that expresses these types of truths as much as adults do If you look at this story and see a “lesson in how to live,” you’re reading it wrong, and if you assume that kids are just going to see that lesson, then you are underestimating children. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-giving-tree-what-a-horrible-lesson-it-teaches/635190.md?page=5)