The Golden Plates of the Prophet

Yeah, the funny thing about the South Park episode is that it’s actually historically accurate. They didn’t have to make anything up.

Well, yes. But hindsight is 20/20. At the time, it’s hard to imagine Smith thought anyone would take his revelations seriously. For every father of a religion or even cult leader there are a million guys yelling on street corners in dirty clothes.

Wealth, on the other hand, has always been a sure-fire ticket to poontang.

I have been harangued by many street preachers. I ignored all of them. However, if one had an authentic Rosetta Stone in his shopping cart underneath his cans I would have stopped and listened. The whole thing is so hilarious in hindsight. “Listen to me. God has chosen me! I have an invaluable artifact to prove it!” “Can I see it?” “Umm, no.” “Hey, remember you said all those years ago you had an artifact. Can I see it now, since you’re done translating it?” “Uh, no. Actually I don’t even have it anymore. I gave it to an angel.” “Right.”