# The Gospel according to LOLcats. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 14, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gospel-according-to-lolcats/422714 "2007-10-14T21:03:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gospel-according-to-lolcats/422714/1 "2007-10-14T21:03:02Z")
If you hate LOLcats: despair! If you love LOLcats: rejoice! [http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis\_1](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1) ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2007, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gospel-according-to-lolcats/422714/2 "2007-10-14T21:06:11Z")
Better than that, it’s a Wiki: they need LOLcat translators to help out. Choose a verse, and is it can be tranzlations tiem now pleez? In particular, _Numbers_ is in serious need of halp. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gospel-according-to-lolcats/422714/3 "2007-10-14T21:34:24Z")
John 3:16 loses something in translation. So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez ‘Oh hai I givez u my only son and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?’ Ecclesiastes, on the other hand, becomes somewhat less depressing. Though I’m pretty sure Qoheleth never mentions anal sex in your more, shall we say, academic translations of the text. ---
**Author:** ![Euryphaessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Euryphaessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euryphaessa)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2007, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gospel-according-to-lolcats/422714/4 "2007-10-14T21:43:27Z")
Hee hee! Thanks, **runner pat**. jeebus crist iz teh sun of Og. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gospel-according-to-lolcats/422714/5 "2007-10-15T00:01:25Z")
Song of Songs: > [@](#): > > 1. Solomones Songz of Songz, kthx. > > Teh Beluved: > > 1. Let him kiss me wit da kissus of hiz mouf-- for yer love be moar delitefool den cheezbugers. Srsly. > > 2. Yu has a smell I likez; yer name is like smellz poorded out. Deh oter sluts luv yu too! > > 3. Take me wit yu plz, come on! Letz go! the king bringme into hiz chamburz, k? I’m looking forward to telling my wife “yer love be moar delitefool den cheezbugers. Srsly.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gospel-according-to-lolcats/422714/6 "2007-10-15T07:28:24Z")
[From Exodus 1](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Exodus_1) > [@](#): > > An then thhere childern wuz lik, PENIS GOES WHERE? An then they new whear penis wents, and maded babieses. > An some othar guy wuz liek, lol I am Kinng of Egypt. Whose is Joseph? Dont even no. > King sayed to hiz peeps: Yo. Look at teh Jews are lots of em. Awww! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gospel-according-to-lolcats/422714/7 "2007-10-15T08:48:47Z")
I don’t have time to do any of this, but I really hope someone can edit it (if it hasn’t been done already) to have John teh Baptist saying: “Im in ur Jordan baptizin ur d00ds” And Samson saying: “JESUS CHRIST IT’S A LION. GET IN THE CAR!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gospel-according-to-lolcats/422714/8 "2007-10-15T09:31:15Z")
Someone needs to finish the Book of Esther in time for Purim… ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-gospel-according-to-lolcats/422714/9 "2007-10-15T11:02:03Z")
This is seriously sweet. I may have to contribute.