# The Great American Potty Poll **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660 "2003-11-11T19:40:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fingolfin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eada6e/32.png) [@Fingolfin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fingolfin)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/1 "2003-11-11T19:40:36Z")
Please help me settle a dispute with my wife. After you drop a load, how do you wipe your ass? \*\*A) Sitting down B) Standing up C) Both\*\* I say standing up is the most efficient way. You get more leverage and it’s easier to do a thorough cleaning. My wife says “no one does it that way!” “All decent, civilized people” use the ‘sit down method’. So, umm, am I the only one? ---
**Author:** ![Bucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Bucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bucky)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/2 "2003-11-11T19:44:22Z")
Yes. Your cheeks would clench onto the mess when standing. It also doesn’t work with many kinds of clothing. ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/3 "2003-11-11T19:44:58Z")
You either put this in the wrong forum by accident, or you think this issue is **much** more important than it is. A great debate? ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/4 "2003-11-11T19:47:01Z")
Wiping while standing up? Sounds like one of the profile list items for becoming a serial killer. - Abused as child - Abused animals - Set fires - Wiped standing up ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/5 "2003-11-11T19:52:04Z")
Before this thread gets booted, I just want to say that I’m not sure why, but one of the most annoying things on the planet to me is adults who use “baby talk” words like “potty”. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard. ---
**Author:** ![pervert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@pervert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pervert)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/6 "2003-11-11T19:55:00Z")
OK, you guys sucked me into posting in this thread.:eek: Unless I mis something, he is not talking about standing at attention. He is talking about lifting the buttocks up off the seat into a sort of squat. If you must have the full visual… You simply rais the buttocks off the seat. Keep you feet spread as wide as possible. If clothing prevents this, then at least spread the thighs as far as possible. This posture allows access to the “area to be cleaned” via the reach around or under the package. Using the reach around in conjuction with an exagerating of the squat can result in maximum leverage. OK. Now I have to go wash.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Fingolfin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eada6e/32.png) [@Fingolfin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fingolfin)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/7 "2003-11-11T20:01:00Z")
[looks at autz] Yes, I meant to post in this forum. I think this topic could turn out to be a “Great Debate”. It’s an issue not many people are willing to talk about. I think the silent majority is waiting to be heard here. 😉 [looks at pervert] Thank you. That is exactly what I am referring to when Isay “standing up”. The buttocks are not touching the seat. Legs are either straight or roughly at a 45 degree angle. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/8 "2003-11-11T21:14:42Z")
Um…a little of both, actually… (“I’d let you watch…I would invite you…”) Trinopus ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/9 "2003-11-11T21:21:31Z")
Um…well, I’ll chime in on the ‘standing up’ with warm water vote. The way I was raised is that toilet paper is not very hygenic (should be used for ‘emergencies only’), so you, er, wash…and the only practical way to do that (in an American style bathroom anyway) is to partially stand up to allow the water to go over your bum properly. I’m sure this is all TMI. 🙂 BTW, this is the proper forum for such a weighty question IMO. 🙂 -XT ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/10 "2003-11-11T21:41:06Z")
[Moderator Hat ON] To IMHO. Those guys _luuuuurve_ bathroom stuff. [Moderator Hat OFF] ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/11 "2003-11-11T22:05:29Z")
I do the first couple of wipes sitting down. Then, once the “prints” on the TP are 1) more or less solid and 2) diminishing in amount, I stand up and wipe until I can put some TP and it’ll come out clean. ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/12 "2003-11-11T22:37:27Z")
Take a shower instead, saves TP, cleanses thoroughly. No problems! ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/13 "2003-11-11T22:56:39Z")
I now love those flushable wipes (next best thing to a bidet), and I always wipe sitting down. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/14 "2003-11-11T23:19:34Z")
Well, since the OP specifically asks about wiping, the bidet answer is out of context. The few times I’ve had to stand up after pinching a grogan to retreive a fresh roll of bogwad, the accumulated turdage became smeared to the point of unpleasantness… So, if you’re gonna wipe, my experience is to do it in place, sitting down. Once, when extra attentiveness wass required, I placed a mirror on the floor and squatted over that, and used a cold, damp washcloth. But that was due to a rather unpleasant and far too common medical condition. Then again, if you’re a guest at someone else’s house, you could [use the “floss” method with your hostesses bath towel, then fold it so as to hide the evidence, and replace the towel on the rack](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=220523). Oh, and my dog just told me he prefers to use the “scoot” method, preferably on the carpet, but the lawn will do in a pinch. ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/15 "2003-11-11T23:35:05Z")
Now for the rest of my life the image of the High King of the Noldor standing up to wipe his ass will be burned into my brain pan. Thanks for ruining _The Silmarillion_ forever. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/16 "2003-11-12T00:44:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bughunter \* > > The few times I’ve had to stand up after pinching a grogan to retreive a fresh roll of bogwad, the accumulated turdage became smeared to the point of unpleasantness… So, if you’re gonna wipe, my experience is to do it in place, sitting down. Do what I do. First wipe a few times while sitting down, then stick a wad in your ass, get up, and wipe a few more times. It works. ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/17 "2003-11-12T01:32:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bughunter \* > \*\* > Oh, and my dog just told me he prefers to use the “scoot” method, preferably on the carpet, but the lawn will do in a pinch. \*\* NOTE: Take your dog to the vet. It has congested glands on each side of the anus! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/18 "2003-11-12T01:45:55Z")
I’m a sitter in the shitter. As for the dog, he could be just fine. My dog does the Booty Scoot Boogie and the vet tells us his anal glands are just fine. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![Omnipresent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@Omnipresent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnipresent)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/19 "2003-11-12T01:59:12Z")
Not fare. I had my post locked on this very subject recently. What gives? [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=222301](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=222301) I’ll go over it again but, I’ve lost my head of steam. Standing. Always standing. Sitting is too uncomfortable. Can’t get “in there”. The little extra “smearage” one gets from standing in negligable. Besides. One of the reasons for the stand (and I do mean full stand at attention, not a bend-over) is because that I just must inspect the bounty. If you’re sitting and you do a reach-around, you’re covering up and you won’t be able to see what’s going in there. 1. Stand up. 2. Turn around. 3. Look down. 4. 2-3 dry wipes with TP. 5. 1-2 wet wipes with flushables if available. Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660/20 "2003-11-12T14:42:51Z")
Both, depending on which is more tactically sound at the time. Plus, if I’m really happy that day, I might stand early, just because I’m so excited. Now what’s really weird is my girlfriend goes in between her legs to wipe (sitting – she thinks standing is weird). I prefer to go in from the side, even if I need to lean or tilt my pelvis a bit. Anyone else go through the five-hole? Seems crazy to me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-american-potty-poll/212660.md?page=2)