# The Great Obfusciatrist will tell your future! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462 "2000-05-24T21:35:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/1 "2000-05-24T21:35:59Z")
I have a game that I play using Dewey Decimal Numbers that I’ve explained in the [Dewey Decimal Antics](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=25421) thread. I just heard an interview on the radio with a guy that uses episodes of “Friends” to tell people’s future. He has the person ask a question and then plays a random “Friends” quote and then explains what it means. According to this guy, Joey is the most accurate and Ross is the least accurate. But that is neither here nor there. This guy makes MONEY doing this. So, I thought, I can do better than that. I have decided that Dewey Decimal numbers are a much better metric to use, and I am going to use you guys to perfect my method and then hit the road to riches. So! If you submit to me in this thread two or three important numbers from your life (each at least three digits and no more than ten) I will use their Dewey Decimal equivelants to provide you with important insights into your life and future. And if you respond quickly, the first ten reponses will receive (absolutely free) a limited edition “Melvil Dewey - Prophet” button! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/2 "2000-05-24T21:50:17Z")
Twixt 3 and ten digits? No sweat. 699 1212 17702 7380 ---
**Author:** ![Mamapotomus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mamapotomus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mamapotomus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/3 "2000-05-24T21:59:43Z")
okay… 369 914 1218 92499 this I can’t wait to see… ---
**Author:** ![h\_thur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/db5fbb/32.png) [@h\_thur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h_thur)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/4 "2000-05-24T22:08:58Z")
111299 412 420 ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/5 "2000-05-24T22:21:31Z")
How about… 8799 62073 6591 ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/6 "2000-05-24T22:47:18Z")
> [@](#): > > **Twixt 3 and ten digits? No sweat. > 699 > 1212 > 17702 > 7380** Mr. Cynical, I have some VERY good news for you. Your first number takes us into interesting territory, let’s consider the hierarchy of 699: ```auto 600 Technology (Applied Arts) 690 Buildings 699 Not Assigned ``` To the unitiated this may look like an early failure for my system, but I’m too clever for that. I find myself wondering what part of a building is “not assigned.” The obvious answer (particularly in early sitcoms) is THE BATHROOM. This idea is further strengthened by your fourth number, 7380, which simply translates to 738, let’s consider that number: ```auto 700 The Arts 730 Plastic Arts and Sculpture 738 Ceramic Arts ``` So we have ceramic arts in the bathroom which narrows things down to the toilet, the sink, or the bathtub. I think your third number provides the vital clue: ```auto 100 Philosophy and Related Disciplines 170 Ethics 177 Ethics of Social Relations 177.02 Guides and pamphlets ``` So, “social relations” are involved. In that case I believe the signs are clear that in the near future you will be experiencing “social relations” in a ceramic bathtub. But more importantly, you are going to be facing an ethical conundrum. Perhaps you will be wondering if you and your partner should face towards or away from the shower head. The final number, only confirms that this is indeed a good thing: ```auto 100 Philosophy and Related Disciplines 120 Knowledge, Cause, Purpose, Man 121 Epistemology 121.2 The nature of the mind ``` I don’t think this requires any explanation. **In the near future, Mr. Cynical, you will find wondering which way to face while exeriencing “social relations” in a ceramic bathtub and the only thought going through your head will be "can I possibly think of anything better than this?"** ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/7 "2000-05-24T23:20:53Z")
> [@](#): > > **okay… > 369 > 914 > 1218 > 92499 > this I can’t wait to see…** Welcome kelliebob. Your first post, I’m honored. Have a seat an lets see what I can get from your selections. Hmmmmm, first of all you have a high geography quotient in your numbers. This is a very strong indicator, let’s consider two of those numbers. ```auto 900 General History & Geography 910 General Geography & Travel 914 Europe 900 General History & Geography 920 General Biography 924 Europe 924.99 Other Parts of Europe ``` Both of these point towards Europe. And the biography line is an indicator of where in Europe. Providing the specific location through the Biography (920s) section indicates that you will be moving your entire life to that location. Now, “other parts of Europe may seem vague”, but you have to consider which parts are already excluded. The exluded parts of Europe are: British Isles, Germany, France & Monaco, Italy, Iberian Peninsula, Eastern Europe, and Scandinavia. That doesn’t leave much and your third number provides the vital clue. ```auto 100 Philosophy and Related Disciplines 120 Knowledge, Cause, Purpose, Man 121 Epistemology 121.8 Values ``` You are going to find yourself reconsidering your values, a pursuit that is going to lead you to move somewhere in Europe. Where? The answer, obviouly, is Vatican City. But your numbers tell me that you aren’t simply going to move there. Consider: ```auto 300 Social Services 360 Social Pathology & Services 369 Miscellaneous Associations ``` **So, providing the final link, we learn that you will soon find yourself reconsidering your values (is paintball really that much fun?). This doubt is going to lead you to move to Vatican City and begin to doing good works for Catholic Charities.** Have fun, and give the Pope a hug for me. ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/8 "2000-05-24T23:34:18Z")
306384821 201280 ---
**Author:** ![Mamapotomus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mamapotomus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mamapotomus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/9 "2000-05-24T23:38:17Z")
That is too amazing! You’ve now provided me with the impetus to follow my life-long dream. Thanks to your genius, I’m going to become the first agnostic pope with a uterus. Obfus, I am forever in awe of your abilities and I will make you the first Dewey Decimal Saint. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/10 "2000-05-24T23:39:54Z")
I’ll play… 120477 554465 71299 769021 ---
**Author:** ![Fillet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/2acd7d/32.png) [@Fillet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fillet)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2000, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/11 "2000-05-24T23:53:54Z")
061890 110455 080966 061300 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/12 "2000-05-25T00:29:56Z")
OK. 0315196304 ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/13 "2000-05-25T00:38:17Z")
Hey, I am always up for nifty numeral action. 2144 410169 271 6799 ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/14 "2000-05-25T00:41:18Z")
891 12129 10204 ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/15 "2000-05-25T07:44:19Z")
Here’s mine: 11474 81097 10273 ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/16 "2000-05-25T07:58:44Z")
3175 4108 3105 331 349 791 You may begin. Dazzle me. –Baloo ---
**Author:** ![Pandora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eada6e/32.png) [@Pandora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pandora)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/17 "2000-05-25T13:35:11Z")
I wanna play too 🙂 2740 121 6104737150 317 122274 ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/18 "2000-05-25T14:33:25Z")
102273 52701 2492 60647 ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/19 "2000-05-25T14:56:13Z")
O great and wonderful One, May you see in your infinite wisdom to assign me a future based upon the following numbers… 32489 1979 333 your meek servant, JL ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2000, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462/20 "2000-05-25T16:07:54Z")
> [@](#): > > **111299 > 412 > 420** h\_thur, please have a seat and put your feet up. Young children can be so tiring. In fact, looking at your numbers I see that your final number relates directly to your son. ```auto 400 Languages 420 English and Old English ``` **This is an obvious reference to the efforts you will be making in the near future to ensure that your son grows up speaking English - as opposed to speaking Old English.** Your other two numbers indicate great intellectual efforts in your future. Consider your first number: ```auto 100 Philosophy and Related Disciplines 110 Metaphysics 111 Ontology 111.2 Universals 111.2'99 Aeta, Andamanese, Semang; Papuans; Australian Aborigines; Malays; and other miscellaneous peoples ``` It would appear that at some point in the future you will be wondering if all of those people actually exist. And if they do, are the Miscellaneans universally upset by the stupid name. Your second number indicates the further refinement of your studies into the above. ```auto 400 Language 410 Linguistics 412 Etymology ``` It is obvious that you will be spending hours pondering the etymology of “Papuans,” because it is just so fun to say. Papuans, Papuans, Papuans. It just rolls off the tongue. I’m sorry, h\_thur, that your near future isn’t more exciting, but you are raising a 6-month old. Only 17.5 years to go until you get to have fun again. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-obfusciatrist-will-tell-your-future/20462.md?page=2)