# The Great SDMB Snowball Fight! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 24, 2002, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630 "2002-12-24T00:12:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/101 "2002-12-26T20:08:43Z")
I continue to see more Dopers standing in clusters, so I keep fashioning huge bowling balls out of snow and rolling them and shouting “Zastupnik!” I also roll a kid’s wagon, with big wheels so it won’t get bogged down in the snow, containing a big Thermos full of hot cocoa, and a plastic bag containing styrofoam cups and napkins. 🙂 My targets yell a quick “Thanks!” and roll the empty wagon back. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/102 "2002-12-26T20:13:12Z")
_runs by singing “Roses are blue, violets are red, this Calvinball was meant for your HEAD!” and smacks dougie up side the head with a snow Calvinball_ ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/103 "2002-12-26T20:16:54Z")
::hands **Legomancer** a hot buttered rum then helps him clear the snow from his hat:: Cheerio ol’ pal! ::skips away merrily, head tilted back catching snowflakes on her tongue:: ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/104 "2002-12-26T20:21:16Z")
::nearly bumps into **dougie\_monty** then hands him the last few pieces of cinnamon toast to dunk in his hot cocoa:: Huge fluffy snowball lobbed at **agentfroot**. _PLOP!_ ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/105 "2002-12-26T20:27:10Z")
I note a warm spot on the ground…I don’t know why it’s there. Slush! I take a page from Bill Cosby’s album _Revenge!_ and fashion a normal-sized slush-ball. Hastur is facing away. I draw a bead on the back of **Hastur’s** head and go into a full wind-up like Nolan Ryan and let the slush-ball fly. Instead of “Zastupnik!” I treat Hastur like Junior Barnes and holler, “You gunky!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/106 "2002-12-26T21:32:11Z")
_runs over to dougie and gives him a face wash_ ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Blunty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Captain\_Blunty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Blunty)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/107 "2002-12-26T21:42:10Z")
After standing stunned for about three hours after TVGuy hit me with a snowball, I charge into the fray with a huge snowball and peg it directly at dougie’s head, screaming garble the whole way. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/108 "2002-12-26T21:47:43Z")
_takes a shovel load of snow and puts it down Blunty’s pants and runs away giggling_ ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Blunty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Captain\_Blunty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Blunty)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/109 "2002-12-26T21:56:02Z")
_tackles **Hastur** , giggling like a maniac_ “Laugh now, huh? I wanna hear you LAUGH!!!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/110 "2002-12-26T23:14:39Z")
_takes advantage of the distraction brought on by the snowball fight to rearrange everyone’s Christmas reindeer into sexually compromising positions_ ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/111 "2002-12-27T01:16:47Z")
_rearranges the men in compromising positions and sets himself under them_ ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Juliet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cc9497/32.png) [@Lady\_Juliet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Juliet)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/112 "2002-12-27T02:22:40Z")
_digs herself out of the snow_ Hey! Who shook that branch?!? Gahh. It’s cold now. Brrrrr. _chases after **Washte** with arms full of snow_ Come back!!! I’ll get you dammit! Bwahahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/113 "2002-12-27T02:26:17Z")
_me shakes a full tree onto Blunty and runs off giggling_ ---
**Author:** ![Runadoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Runadoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runadoc)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/114 "2002-12-27T14:45:43Z")
_ **hands on hips, toe tapping** _ ALL RIGHT YOU NAUGHTY CHILDREN!! I must insist that you stop all this snowball foolishness right now. This is very dangerous behavior!! Someone could get hurt, I mean good heavens, you could hit someone in the eye and do some real damage. Not to mention putting snow down pants and shirts and such. That could lead to touching each others bodies, and we all know where that could lead!!! Yes indeedy!!!:eek: Why not all come inside and play a nice game of checkers?? Doesn’t that sound like a good idea??? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/115 "2002-12-27T14:51:17Z")
Sneaks up behaind **Runadhoc** with big grin and evil intent… ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/116 "2002-12-27T15:28:50Z")
: turns the hose on **Runadhoc** : So much for the voice of reason… ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/117 "2002-12-27T15:37:40Z")
My upcoming snowball / wedgie combo surprise tactic has now been wasted ☹ But it’s not going to stop me doing it anyway 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/118 "2002-12-27T21:53:32Z")
After the “face wash,” I fashion another beach-ball size snow ball, complete with three holes made with my fist. I calculate the path toward **Hastur** and holler “Zastupnik!” again. I get behind the snow bowling ball and give it a mighty shove, with Hastur right in its path. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630/119 "2002-12-27T21:56:07Z")
Immediately after that, I fashion two ordinary snowballs and sneak up on Captain Blunty, and Lady Juliet, and, before they have time to react, I pull the back of their slacks outward and drop the snowball in. Then I run like hell. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-great-sdmb-snowball-fight/144630.md?page=5)