# The greatest joke ever told. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 28, 2005, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643 "2005-04-28T23:58:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/21 "2005-04-29T00:52:52Z")
That was actually pretty good, if long. Though I started skimming somewhere during the third post. Guess the sword and lessons were a waste though. So much for a dignified way to die. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/22 "2005-04-29T00:57:24Z")
I think he was trying to call the thread “The \*\*longest \*\* joke ever told”… ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/23 "2005-04-29T01:12:47Z")
Arrest this man. But retweak the story about the snake and the desert guy as a summer project for Matt Damon and Anthony Hopkins. (I’m such a geek I thought Samuel was going to turn out to be Sammael.) ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/24 "2005-04-29T01:23:37Z")
Yes, it’s a groaner but the story does grow on you. All in all a good read. Did I mention it was a groaner? ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/25 "2005-04-29T01:27:16Z")
All that wisdom didn’t do him much good did it? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/26 "2005-04-29T01:30:54Z")
> [@Amp](#): > > Yes, it’s a groaner but the story does grow on you. So does the ebola virus. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/27 "2005-04-29T01:44:49Z")
Ok, so I read it after all. As soon as the lever was mentioned I knew what the punch line would be. I may have heard another (much shorter) version of this many years ago. One question though: when he left his SUV, why didn’t he just follow its tracks back to town? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/28 "2005-04-29T01:51:06Z")
Well, screw that. I ain’t through fout whole posts! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/29 "2005-04-29T02:09:29Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Well, screw that. I ain’t through fout whole posts! Now THAT’S funny. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/30 "2005-04-29T02:14:30Z")
I think there is a typo in the title. It should be **The greatest joke over told.** ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/31 "2005-04-29T02:24:25Z")
> [@Muad'Dib](#): > > THE END. > > LOLZ > > So, you know any good jokes? Nope, and neither do you, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![feppytweed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/feppytweed/32/4280_2.png) [@feppytweed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/feppytweed)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/32 "2005-04-29T03:18:50Z")
shall I relate unto you the Shaggy Dog, Pink House, or Purple Flower jokes? just another joke to add to the repetoir of jokes to shut people up for 10 minutes. A for effort on the typing it out though. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/33 "2005-04-29T03:31:29Z")
I was wondering why he didn’t wish himself back to town… ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/34 "2005-04-29T04:00:29Z")
> [@DarkSideoftheFloyd](#): > > I was wondering why he didn’t wish himself back to town… Nate told him where town was which allowed him to wish for something a bit more consequential. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/35 "2005-04-29T04:03:11Z")
Related hijack: Do Americans pronounce _lever_ to rhyme with _never_? The joke works better if you do, but down here we pronounce it _leaver_. ---
**Author:** ![nivlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@nivlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nivlac)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/36 "2005-04-29T04:09:33Z")
I gave up midway through post #2 and just scrolled to the punchline. And what an unsatisfying payoff. Sheesh. The idea of a bad pun joke is to set it up, maybe throw out some misdirection, then hit the punchline. And do it as parsimoniously as possible! ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/37 "2005-04-29T04:16:28Z")
Great joke. Reminds me of the stinky fish joke, but as I don’t have 3 hours to spare at the moment, I guess I’ll spare all of you the horror of getting through the thing. > [@1920s Style "Death Ray"](#): > > Do Americans pronounce lever to rhyme with never? Yup. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/38 "2005-04-29T04:22:33Z")
There was a competetion/study once for the greatest joke ever told. Of thousands of entries this is the one that won. A man calls 911 frantically saying ‘I am on a hunting trip and my friend has been shot’. The operator tries to calm him down and help him through the situation. The first thing she says is ‘are you sure he is dead’. the man says, ‘hold on’, and leaves the phone on the ground. A few seconds later a gunshot is heard by the operator, followed by the man a few seconds later. He says ‘ok now what’. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/39 "2005-04-29T04:40:51Z")
> [@Jayn\_Newell](#): > > That was actually pretty good, if long. Though I started skimming somewhere during the third post. > > Guess the sword and lessons were a waste though. So much for a dignified way to die. I just scrolled to the punchline…and my shaggy dog suspicions were confirmed. Personally, I’ve always like the Johnny versus the clown shaggy dog. Ya know, the one that ends “fuck you, clown!” Yeah, that one’s good. ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643/40 "2005-04-29T04:46:45Z")
As others have said, the story was good, if the joke wasn’t. Maybe you should forget the joke and try to write a meaningful ending to it to make it worthwhile. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-joke-ever-told/301643.md?page=3)