# The greatest line from any movie or TV **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 24, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431 "2011-09-24T04:12:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/201 "2011-10-05T17:03:44Z")
“There is no Dana, only Zuul.” ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/202 "2011-10-05T17:07:06Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > “There is no Dana, only Zuul.” ‘‘What a lovely singing voice you must have.’’ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/203 "2011-10-05T17:09:59Z")
Shooter- You’re in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! Happy- You eat pieces of shit for breakfast!? ---
**Author:** ![newcomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e5b9ba/32.png) [@newcomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcomer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/204 "2011-10-05T17:48:22Z")
Nobody expects a Spanish Inquisition! ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/205 "2011-10-05T18:12:19Z")
The fact that the OP lead with a Star Trek quote brought to mind (one of) my favorite movies quotes of all time: > [@](#): > > So you’re from outer space. > No, I’m from Iowa. I just work in outer space. (Star Trek IV) And it’s hard to work this one into conversation, but it’s so freakin’ cool. Apollo 13. James Lovell’s mother, whom everybody has been tip-toeing around to avoid upsetting her: > [@](#): > > If they could make a washing machine fly, my Jimmy could land it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/206 "2011-10-05T18:13:32Z")
IIRC, Ebert opined that Gladiator would’ve been fantastic if they’d ended it right after our palm-the-arrowhead hero makes Commodus go pale and shivery: > [@](#): > > My name is Gladiator. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance" . . . if you imagine him stabbing the guy in the jugular _ **right then,** _ before smiling while getting cut to ribbons or something, the line is simply perfect. If you instead continue the movie for another hour, it’s merely memorable. ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/207 "2011-10-05T18:48:28Z")
> **[The Visa](http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheVisa.html)** > > Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Visa. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes New scene. Jerry and Cheryl are at the coffee shop. Cheryl: I actually have a friend in the Immigration Department who owes me a big favor. You’re very lucky. Jerry (somber): That’s wonderful news. Thank you. Cheryl: You’re a very serious person, aren’t you? Jerry: Well, with so many people in the world deprived and unhappy, it doesn’t seem like it would be fair to be cheerful. Cheryl: I understand. Jerry reaches for the milk for his coffee. Cheryl: I think it’s curdled. Jerry: I don’t care. Cheryl: Do you ever laugh? Jerry: Not really. Sometimes, when I’m in the tub. Cheryl: That’s so sad. What do you do? Jerry: **I’m a comedian**. Oh, let me get that. (reaching for the check) You’ve been so helpful… ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/208 "2011-10-05T18:48:54Z")
“My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement.” Patricia, _Joe vs the Volcano_ ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/209 "2011-10-06T00:04:58Z")
Mongol: Conan! What is best in life? Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/210 "2011-10-06T00:17:53Z")
Sheldon: You were involved in the Bay of Pigs? Vince Ricardo: Involved? That was my idea. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/211 "2011-10-06T01:21:54Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > “My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement.” > > Patricia, _Joe vs the Volcano_ Thank you, my friend, finally something that describes how I feel… ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/212 "2011-10-06T01:41:23Z")
It’s a draw. I mean, it shouldn’t happen to a dog. I mean, the situation is hopeless, but not serious. -Otto in One, Two, Three ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/213 "2011-10-06T14:49:05Z")
“Major Strasser has been shot! …Round up the usual suspects.” or perhaps “Y’know, Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” or maybe …well, actually, the whole darn movie is full of great quotes:D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/214 "2011-10-06T15:44:39Z")
\*'I \*\*am \*_big. It’s the pictures that got small. ’_ Norma Desmond, Sunset Boulevard. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/215 "2011-10-06T19:02:34Z")
“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.” ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/216 "2011-10-06T20:42:58Z")
“If I didn’t have puke breath, I’d kiss you.” ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/217 "2011-10-06T20:47:27Z")
“GET TO THA CHOPPAH!!” _- Predator_ +1 to many, especially the Josey Wales quotes ---
**Author:** ![mufatango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@mufatango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mufatango)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/218 "2011-10-08T15:22:10Z")
WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!!! GOOD NIGHT!!! [-Morbo](http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/56267/detail/) ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/219 "2011-10-08T19:59:09Z")
Like the _Ghostbusters_ quote(s) – esp. “there is only Zool” “You know what kind of people they are. They’re gonna strip you naked and go to work on you with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.” – _Charley Varrick_. I know a lot of geeks probably went to work on _PFiction_ and sniffed it out, but it’s much more menacing in the classic Don Siegel movie. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/220 "2011-10-08T20:22:58Z")
“Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431.md?page=12)