# The greatest line from any movie or TV **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 24, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431 "2011-09-24T04:12:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/101 "2011-09-27T09:12:38Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > [Got to be the greatest line, or they wouldn’t use it so often. > > “Silence!”]([A Supercut Of People Saying 'Silence!' In Movies | HuffPost Culture](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/22/people-saying-silence-in-movies_n_933025.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl3%7Csec1_lnk3%7C89059)) Based on that criteria, [maybe this is the greatest line](http://vimeo.com/24669583). ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/102 "2011-09-27T13:34:41Z")
**A Simple Plan** wasn’t even all that great a movie, but man this line killed me. Bill Paxton (Hank), Billy Bob Thornton and Billy Bob’s buddy found a crashed plane, dead pilot and a bunch of money deep in the woods. A cop is approaching down the road. The three men agree not to say a word about the plane. Billy Bob waits in the background as Hank smalltalks with the cop. Then Billy Bob slowly approaches and says… “Hey Hank, did you tell him about the plane?” ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/103 "2011-09-27T13:45:37Z")
“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” WKRP in Cincinatti ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/104 "2011-09-27T13:57:55Z")
> [@yanceylebeef](#): > > “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” > > WKRP in Cincinatti Thank you!!! I wanted to post this one, but had already posted one. I’ve since come to realize movie quotes are like potato chips, sorta. You can’t post just one. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/105 "2011-09-27T17:27:31Z")
> [@janis\_and\_c0](#): > > Thank you!!! I wanted to post this one, but had already posted one. I’ve since come to realize movie quotes are like potato chips, sorta. You can’t post just one. You gotta space them out a little; like, only one a day. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/106 "2011-09-27T17:40:41Z")
In _There’s Something about Mary_, Ben Stiller asks Chris Elliott , “So, how’s married life?” Chris’s deadpan response… “Each day’s better than the next”! ---
**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/107 "2011-09-27T17:41:12Z")
From the Watchman, Rorschach in jail, just after he dunked someones head in hot oil " None of you seem to understand. I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with _ME_!" ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/108 "2011-09-27T17:42:41Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > [Darn.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPRlHwwVIug) Ah. One of my favorites. Since that’s been used, I’ll sumbit: Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This… is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That’s right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that? -Ash ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/109 "2011-09-27T17:46:39Z")
Too bad that game lines aren’t included :(, but if they were, I’d say hands down the best line ever to grace my ears would be: “Men, we led those dumb bugs out to the middle of nowhere to keep ‘em from gettin’ their filthy claws on Earth. But, we stumbled onto somethin’ they’re so hot for, that they’re scramblin’ over each other to get it. Well, I don’t care if it’s God’s own anti-son-of-a-bitch machine, or a giant hula hoop, we’re not gonna let 'em have it! What we will let 'em have is a belly full of lead, and a pool of their own blood to drown in! Am I right, Marines?” -Johnson’s speech in Halo on Legendary If it has to be movies or TV: “I know what you’re thinking. ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’ Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” -Harry Callahan, Dirty Harry ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/110 "2011-09-27T18:21:11Z")
> [@brewha](#): > > Ah. One of my favorites. Since that’s been used, I’ll sumbit: > > Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This… is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That’s right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that? > > -Ash I was SO hoping for a name change when Sears and Kmart merged. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/111 "2011-09-27T18:56:11Z")
Two from scenes with Danny DeVito: Jack (Kevin Spacey): How’s it hangin’, Sid? Sid (DeVito): Down around my ankles. (_L.A. Confidential_) and Mickey (DeVito): Don’t you wanna hear my last words? Joe (Gene Hackman): I just did. (_Heist_) ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/112 "2011-09-27T19:18:30Z")
Surprised I’m the first to post it this, hopefully it’s not too long: > [@](#): > > I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It’s a depression. Everybody’s out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel’s worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there’s nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there’s no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV’s while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that’s the way it’s supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They’re crazy. It’s like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don’t go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, ‘Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won’t say anything. Just leave us alone.’ Well, I’m not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don’t want you to protest. I don’t want you to riot - I don’t want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn’t know what to tell you to write. I don’t know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you’ve got to get mad. You’ve got to say, ‘I’m a HUMAN BEING, God damn it! My life has VALUE!’ So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, ‘I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!’ I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!’ Things have got to change. But first, you’ve gotta get mad!.. You’ve got to say, ‘I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!’ Then we’ll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: "I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE! ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/113 "2011-09-27T19:49:31Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > [BladeRunner](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTzA_xesrL8) Tears in the rain speech. +1 I also like [“it’s too bad she won’t live. But then again who does…”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kPocPwXzdM&feature=related) ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/114 "2011-09-27T19:59:22Z")
Several I could heartily agree with have been posted upthread, so i will just add: “Who ARE those guys?” -_Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_ ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/115 "2011-09-27T22:31:17Z")
Well, I haven’t read all of these, but I bet (one of) my favorites hasn’t been quoted: The fourth Doctor talking to Leela: “The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don’t alter the views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit the views.” ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/116 "2011-09-27T23:52:44Z")
> [@Wargamer](#): > > Several I could heartily agree with have been posted upthread, so i will just add: > > “Who ARE those guys?” > > -_Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_ I think you meant to say “Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?” instead. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/117 "2011-09-28T00:28:11Z")
> [@Precambrianmollusc](#): > > From the Watchman, Rorschach in jail, just after he dunked someones head in hot oil > > " None of you seem to understand. I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with _ME_!" That was a good one. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/118 "2011-09-28T00:55:26Z")
“I’m gonna need a hacksaw.” Jack Bauer, _24_ ---
**Author:** ![TurboNuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@TurboNuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TurboNuke)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/119 "2011-09-28T01:23:58Z")
Dr. Necessiter: As you know, my research has advanced to a point where I can put her mind into the body of a gorilla. Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: I couldn’t fuck a gorilla. The Man with Two Brains ---
**Author:** ![branjon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@branjon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/branjon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431/120 "2011-09-28T01:24:09Z")
“Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F’s, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don’t you think I do?” Alvy Singer from _Annie Hall._ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-line-from-any-movie-or-tv/597431.md?page=7)