# The greatest lines in film history? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 9, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098 "2003-03-09T16:38:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![AvidReader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47774/32.png) [@AvidReader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AvidReader)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/81 "2003-03-11T04:49:16Z")
Again from **Dr. Strangelove, or How I learned to stop worrying and love the Bomb.** : **General “Buck” Turgidson** : Mr. President, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth both for ourselves as human beings and for the life of our nation. Now, truth is not always a pleasant thing. But it is necessary now to make a choice, to choose between two admittedly regrettable, but nevertheless _distinguishable_, postwar environments: one where you got twenty million people killed, and the other where you got a hundred and fifty million people killed. **President Merkin Muffley** : You’re talking about mass murder, General, not war! **General “Buck” Turgidson** : Mr. President, I’m not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks This was “chilling” in 1963 when there were two world powers. It still is…even though we’re down to only one. ---
**Author:** ![Circuit\_Rider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@Circuit\_Rider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Circuit_Rider)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/82 "2003-03-11T05:17:08Z")
* * * “Jesus, throw a rock in here, you’ll hit one. And do me a favor, Fink: throw it hard!” –from Barton Fink ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/83 "2003-03-11T05:30:49Z")
“You’re far too trusting.” – Star Wars “Nazis. I hate these guys.” – Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade “Looks like we’re gonna need more FBI guys.” – Die Hard “I would like to have seen Montana.” – The Hunt for Red October “First I would like you wipe that fucking smile off your fucking rosy cheeks. Then I want a fucking car. A fucking Honda, a fucking Toyota, four fucking wheels and a seat!” – Planes, Trains & Automobiles ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/84 "2003-03-11T05:56:29Z")
> [@](#): > > This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me! > I ain’t got time to bleed! ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/85 "2003-03-11T07:32:54Z")
“Rommel you magnificent bastard – I read your book!” “Well son, your bystanding days are over. You’re in it now, up to your neck.” “Hey, Mike, you think you can toss me my calculations? Thanks! Ah, here it is. ‘Breach Hull - All Die.’ Even had it underlined.” ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/86 "2003-03-11T08:07:05Z")
“No one ever wins a war by dying for his country. He wins by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.” - Patton ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/87 "2003-03-11T08:08:55Z")
“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” - The Princess Bride ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/88 "2003-03-11T15:30:40Z")
No one has yet posted my favorite from Strangelove (from memory–notoriously suspect): Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here…this is the war room! ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/89 "2003-03-11T16:54:52Z")
**Up in Smoke** Scene; Car full of pot smoke parked in meridian 3 inches from light pole. Lines; **Cheech** : hey man, am I driven` OK? **Chong** : I think were parked man. **Fletch** Scene; Fletch bent over table during exam from doctor. Line; **Fletch** : Ah, usin` the whole fist doc? ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/90 "2003-03-11T17:03:39Z")
From the Magnificent Seven (the first and last are priceless, and the whole start of the movie is priceless) **Henry** : Now how do you like that. I want him buried, you want him buried, and if he could sit up and talk he’d second the motion. Now that’s as unanimous as you can get. **Chamlee** : There’s an element in town that objects. **Henry** : Objects? Objects to what? **Chamlee** : They say he isn’t fit to be buried there. **Robert** : What? In Boot Hill? **Henry** : Why, there’s nothing up there but murderous cutthroats and derelict old barflies, and if they ever felt exclusive brother, they’re past it now. **Chamlee** : I don’t like it, no sir. I’ve always treated every man the same: just as another, future customer. **Henry** : Well in that case, get that hearse rolling. **Chamlee** : I can’t, my driver’s quit! **Robert** : He’s prejudiced too, huh? **Chamlee** : Well, when it comes to a chance of getting his head blown off, he’s downright bigoted. ---
**Author:** ![holnist\_army](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@holnist\_army](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/holnist_army)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/91 "2003-03-11T17:08:50Z")
Do they speek english in “What”? - Pulp Fiction I come over here expecting to see some track laid, and i find you… jumping around like a bunch of Kansas City Fag\*ots. - Blazing Saddles “Unless you don’t want to be counting the fingers that you haven’t got, i suggest you get those guns… QUICK!” “there’s one more thing… its been emotional.” - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels “To the weenie mobile… Weenie man away!” “contact Dr. Jamima” “don’t leave me here with the germans” “eat my photons smallheads!” “its time for the Brack show. DADA DADA DA DA, its the brack show staring me, I’m brack, its the brack show, and i’ve got lots of good gas” “now if you don’t mind, i’ve been waiting for this all day” “welcome to raspberryworld, for all your raspberry needs” - Mystery Science Theater 3000: the Movie ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/92 "2003-03-11T17:12:13Z")
Time bandits paraphrased: [everyone pushes] **Randall** : No, no, not like that. Wait for me to give the order. Right. Ready, one. . .stop, stop. You never start on one. Who ever heard of anybody starting anything on one?" **someone else** What is it, then? Two, or three? **Randall** : Three! [Randall trampled by everyone pushing] ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/93 "2003-03-11T17:31:06Z")
of course this; \*\* The Search for the Holy Grail \*\*; I faaaaaaart in your general direction!!! ---
**Author:** ![Bomzaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Bomzaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bomzaway)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/94 "2003-03-11T18:01:50Z")
From **Up in smoke** Chong, as he hands Cheech some drugs: “Here man take these.” Cheech swallows the drugs down. Chong: “Oh wait, don’t take those.” From **The Big Lebowski** (as mentioned, half the script could posted here): “You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon–with nail polish.” Various assorted quotes: “Mongo just a pawn in game of life” “I like to think that the last thing that went through the warden’s head, other than that bullet, was how in the hell Andy Defresne got the better of him.” “I don’t know. It’s a mystery” ---
**Author:** ![Sardaukar3925](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@Sardaukar3925](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sardaukar3925)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/95 "2003-03-11T18:07:30Z")
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didnt exist… and then, like that, he vanished” “How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?” “Vanity… my favorite sin” “There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who stand up and face the music, and those who duck for cover… Cover is better” ---
**Author:** ![No\_Disguise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9f8e36/32.png) [@No\_Disguise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Disguise)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/96 "2003-03-11T18:11:00Z")
“Hey, let me buy you a pack of gum. I’ll show you how to chew it.” - Roma (Al Pacino’s character in _Glengary Glen Ross_) ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/97 "2003-03-11T18:15:26Z")
“MMMMMMMmmmmmm, Brains!” * * * “Leave the gun - Take the canoli” ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/98 "2003-03-11T18:19:54Z")
“Never tell me the odds.” ---
**Author:** ![On\_To\_Barstow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@On\_To\_Barstow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/On_To_Barstow)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/99 "2003-03-11T18:57:36Z")
“The Dude abides.” - The Big Lebowski “See this?! This is my BOOMSTICK!” - Army of Darkness ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098/100 "2003-03-11T19:13:20Z")
And lest we forget… “One time, when I was at Band Camp…” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-lines-in-film-history/160098.md?page=6)