# The greatest LIVING American hero. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 18, 2002, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504 "2002-12-18T06:40:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/41 "2002-12-18T15:05:41Z")
C’mon. Punchline please. You went though all the trouble of spying on this 17 year old girl, now we need to know the details. If you had a webcam inconspicuously hidden as well, you may want to keep that secret depending on your local laws. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/42 "2002-12-18T15:06:09Z")
This saccharine is getting to me. I bet the little slunt (isn’t a slunt a stillborn calf?) picked Charles Manson. ---
**Author:** ![ShadowWarrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7993a0/32.png) [@ShadowWarrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadowWarrior)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/43 "2002-12-18T15:11:02Z")
Well, I’m going to come in with a WAG and say she voted for Winston Churchill ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/44 "2002-12-18T15:16:58Z")
Englebert Humperdink? ---
**Author:** ![Goober\_McFly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@Goober\_McFly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goober_McFly)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/45 "2002-12-18T15:17:38Z")
Cecil Adams!!! /pandering ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/46 "2002-12-18T15:26:54Z")
what’s with the guessing game? if you’re going to write a rant, spit it out already. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/47 "2002-12-18T15:29:51Z")
Is it that wfg1518 guy from the other guessing thread? ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/48 "2002-12-18T15:58:38Z")
Apparently pkbites likes the control of having us guess for a period of time determined by him. Oh well. Welcome to the asshole club, control freak. I have an extra shirt you can wear. I say it’s Ben Affleck… for tolerating what he does. Lord knows I can’t compare to that! ---
**Author:** ![NYR407](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@NYR407](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NYR407)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/49 "2002-12-18T16:09:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > \*\*Is it that wfg1518 guy from the other guessing thread? \*\* Too funny Lego. That is exactly what popped into my head. Isn’t there a rule about not responding to your own threads? If not, there should be. Well to add to the guesses of her idea of the Greatest Living American Hero: I am going with John Candy (Above Average Dead Canadian Celebrity). pkbites, it would have been nice to have used the spoiler box or something. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/50 "2002-12-18T16:11:11Z")
Oh! Oh! OH! I know what it is! […arm and hand flailing…] Pick me! Pick ME! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/51 "2002-12-18T16:14:21Z")
**pk** bites. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/52 "2002-12-18T16:23:45Z")
I am guessing she wrote **PKBites** in as the greatest, because she secretly watches him undress from her bedroom window and… What? ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/53 "2002-12-18T16:24:52Z")
OK, is it one of the following :- Laura Bond Charles A. Briscoe Suzanne Valdez Carey Robert C. Casad Elizabeth Cateforis Shelley Hickman Clark George C. Coggins Michael J. Davis A. Kimberley Dayton Phillip E. DeLaTorre Martin B. Dickinson Jr. Christopher R. Drahozal Robert L. Glicksman David J. Gottlieb John W. Head Edwin W. Hecker Jr. Francis Heller Laura J. Hines Michael H. Hoeflich Roscoe C. Howard Jr. M.A. (Mike) Kautsch Pamela Keller Lawyering Philip C. Kissam Richard E. Levy Fred B. Lovitch Stephen W. Mazza Stephen R. McAllister Joyce A. McCray Pearson Sandra Craig McKenzie Keith G. Meyer Shannon C. Oury John C. Peck Jean K. Gilles Phillips Dennis D. Prater Reginald L. Robinson Elinor P. Schroeder Sidney A. Shapiro Thomas G. Stacy Ellen E. Sward William E. Westerbeke Molly Wood ? (All right, it’s a random list of names pulled off the web - the faculty list for the University of Kansas Law Department, to be exact - what the heck, it’s as likely as any other random guess … ) ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/54 "2002-12-18T16:26:40Z")
'tis truly a hero who can bring law to that untamed gut of America. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/55 "2002-12-18T16:29:27Z")
So it’s not Gloria Steinem? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/56 "2002-12-18T16:32:02Z")
Gandhi. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/57 "2002-12-18T16:50:12Z")
Ok, I know the report title was American HERO, but since it offended **pkbites** so much that he went to the trouble of ensuring we knew she was publicly educated, I’m going to guess… Either Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden. I’m picturing some angst-ridden goth who is trying to make some sort of case for these people being heroes for standing up to the big bad 'merkans. Just a WAG Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/58 "2002-12-18T16:58:05Z")
He also pointed out that that report was “hero” and not “idol” or “celebrity.” So I’m going to have to go with Eminem, Jen Lopez, Britney Spears or the curly haired N’Sync boy. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/59 "2002-12-18T17:05:43Z")
Maybe we should be getting all three wrong - not a hero, not alive, and not American. **John Lennon** Fuck it, if he doesn’t come back and tell us soon I’m going to go **You say your name wrong!!! It’s BEETS, not BITES!!!** He has been warned. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/60 "2002-12-18T17:08:52Z")
First of all… A while ago I caught my kid fucking around with drugs. He was using the computer to Email drug dealers and so on. After kicking the shit out of him I put the keyboard monitor so I could determine if he had gone back to doing so. Obviously I am not going to go into the entire story of what he was all doing and what corrective measures my wife and I took. I will not appologize for what I did. He’s still a child and I have the right to find out if he’s fucking around with drugs. I’m not interested in all his internet use, I just scan it and see if there are any Emails about dope. And you are all correct: If he doesn’t like it, he can get the fuck out! I came home last night and did a quick check, and there was a report about the greatest living American hero: Madonna! (that’s Madonna the singer, not “The” Madonna, mother of Jesus). Do kids even know what the term “Hero” means? What are they teaching in public schools? And are 16 year olds still listening to Madonna? I thought they had moved on to Brittney. How do you like that? Of all Americans, Madonna is the greatest living hero. It could be worse, I suppose. When I was in the 8th grade a friend of mine wrote a report stating that Herbert W. Armstrong was the greatest man to ever live since Jesus!:eek: I guess kids will always be screwed up!:rolleyes: But can you all image the pain in my chest when, for a while, I thought it was my son who wrote that about Madonna!😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504.md?page=4)