# The greatest LIVING American hero. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 18, 2002, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504 "2002-12-18T06:40:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/61 "2002-12-18T17:08:54Z")
Betcha it’s going to be her father or boyfriend or something along those lines… ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/62 "2002-12-18T17:16:46Z")
> [@](#): > > After kicking the shit out of him So, would you like the standard sized shovel, or this weeks special offer, Quick-Dig ™ Brand Supa- hole digger deluxe for only $19.95? ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/63 "2002-12-18T17:18:33Z")
BTW, who would you pick? ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/64 "2002-12-18T17:25:22Z")
But but but, Madonna knows the Kabbalah! She knows how to lay t’filin! And she married to Guy Ritchie! And she’s got a great body and she’s over 40! And a fake British accent! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/65 "2002-12-18T17:33:46Z")
And she was the material girl. Plus she’s reincarnated herself so many times it’s amazing. Heroism is overrated. ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/66 "2002-12-18T17:42:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoggie \* > **Plus she’s reincarnated herself so many times it’s amazing.** Yeah. And that stupid Jesus guy only did it once. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/67 "2002-12-18T17:48:35Z")
I liked the thread better BEFORE we knew who it was. ---
**Author:** ![Goober\_McFly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@Goober\_McFly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goober_McFly)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/68 "2002-12-18T17:49:29Z")
Wow. That was anti-climactic. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/69 "2002-12-18T18:00:29Z")
No living person can be a hero. They can only be a celebrity. The title of “hero” is conferred, not by medals wealth or fame, but by Posterity & the judgement of History. Only future generations will have the ability or the privilage to decide if somebody is a “hero”. ---
**Author:** ![kiwiboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/35a633/32.png) [@kiwiboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiwiboy)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/70 "2002-12-18T18:14:16Z")
Leaving aside the excellent post above, who would you have picked pkbites? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/71 "2002-12-18T18:31:04Z")
**Steve Wright** , having had (and currently having) the vast majority of them as professors I can tell you two things: 1. Some of them aren’t Americans 2. I’d lay odds on a few of them not actually still being alive. Also, Pamela Keller teaches Lawyering. That would be a hilariously apt last name, though. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/72 "2002-12-18T18:32:58Z")
Who is Herbert W. Armstrong? We had a custodian at school named Herb, can it be the same guy? He did a good job doing custodial stuff, but I don’t think it made him all that great a man. I probably would have picked Johnny Knoxville. ---
**Author:** ![Suspenderzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Suspenderzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suspenderzzz)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/73 "2002-12-18T18:47:31Z")
Since no species is specified, my vote goes to Scarlett the cat. Anyone remember her? She was the brave creature who walked back into a burning building several times to carry each and every one of her kittens out. And she’s American, and, to the best of my knowledge, still alive. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/74 "2002-12-18T19:17:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Trion \* > \*\*What is this, twenty questions? How many pages will this thread get to before **pkbites** tells us what he’s mad about? > > My guess for the Greatest American Hero is Ralph Hinkley. \*\* “Believe it or not!” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/75 "2002-12-18T19:19:28Z")
A fast read didn’t reveal any of the astronauts, so I nominate Buzz Aldrin, the Bart-Bashing Hero. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/76 "2002-12-18T19:24:42Z")
Dilberts garbageman ---
**Author:** ![kiwiboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/35a633/32.png) [@kiwiboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiwiboy)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/77 "2002-12-18T19:36:54Z")
Here is [Herbert W. Armstrong](http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_W._Armstrong) According to point 7 in his list of doctrines, we’re all Israelites people (except non-British Commonwealth and non-USA dopers)… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/78 "2002-12-18T20:23:16Z")
Was it Oprah? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/79 "2002-12-18T20:35:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by edwino \* > \*\*She knows how to lay t’filin! \*\* I’m sorry, I’m going to need a cite on this. _Madonna_ with _tefillin_? Actually, a cite may not be good enough. I might require an actual picture. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504/80 "2002-12-18T20:46:05Z")
I was going to guess Albert Shanker, but he recently died. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-living-american-hero/143504.md?page=5)