# The greatest movie NEVER made! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915 "2001-08-04T17:53:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Downhome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@Downhome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Downhome)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/1 "2001-08-04T17:53:41Z")
What do you think is the greatest movie idea, that has yet, to be put on the big screen? A movie of your favorite comic? An event you’d like to see on the big screen? What would you say it would be? I want to see a movie, with TODAY’S technology and special effects, SOLEY based on the droping of the A-Bombs. You could have such an excelent film about it, and good Lord! Imagine the special effects of the dropings! What are your picks? Sincerly, …Downhome… ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/2 "2001-08-04T18:01:45Z")
It already exist, its called [Trinity and Beyond](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0114728). ---
**Author:** ![Downhome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@Downhome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Downhome)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/3 "2001-08-04T18:05:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by detop \* > \*\*It already exist, its called [Trinity and Beyond](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0114728). \*\* Well, that’s cool, I’ll check it out ASAP. It however appears to be a documentary, not a “movie”. Sincerly, …Downhome… ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/4 "2001-08-04T18:14:59Z")
Picky, picky, picky 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fogglethorpe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Fogglethorpe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fogglethorpe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/5 "2001-08-04T20:59:59Z")
How about all 7 parts of “The Chronicles of Narnia” by C.S. Lewis? “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”, followed by six sequels. And, people of all ages would enjoy it. With current technology, the special effects required for the storylines would be breathtaking. ---
**Author:** ![everton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@everton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/everton)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/6 "2001-08-04T21:09:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fogglethorpe \* > \*\*How about all 7 parts of “The Chronicles of Narnia” by C.S. Lewis? > “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”, followed by six sequels. And, people of all ages would enjoy it. With current technology, the special effects required for the storylines would be breathtaking. \*\* Good idea **Foggy**. BTW, it’s already been done for [television](http://www.bbcamerica.com/programs/the_chronicles_of_narnia.html) by the BBC. ---
**Author:** ![Fogglethorpe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Fogglethorpe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fogglethorpe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/7 "2001-08-04T21:14:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by everton \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Fogglethorpe \* > > \*\*How about all 7 parts of “The Chronicles of Narnia” by C.S. Lewis? > > “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”, followed by six sequels. And, people of all ages would enjoy it. With current technology, the special effects required for the storylines would be breathtaking. \*\* > > Good idea **Foggy**. BTW, it’s already been done for [television](http://www.bbcamerica.com/programs/the_chronicles_of_narnia.html) by the BBC. \*\* Really Everton? I would be interested in seeing that. Is it available on video anywhere? Thanks for the info. ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/8 "2001-08-04T22:08:24Z")
Okay, the greatest movie never made involves Wynona Ryder, Gwenyth Paltrow, Claire Danes, Cameron Diaz, **Pezpunk** , A bed, a pool filled with jello, a hawiian island, and SEX. LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX… The downside to this you ask? It would only be a 15 (20 minutes top) movie 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/9 "2001-08-05T02:15:31Z")
I’ve been waiting for a big screen adaptation of _Stranger in a Strange Land_ for years. It has been teasingly talked about in Hollywood for 30 years or more but no one has ever made it to the production stage. What have we gotten in the meantime? A totally crappy adaptation of _Starship Troopers_ (where are the f\*cking suits?! Dammit, I wanted to see suits! And, dammit, Doogie was supposed to DIE!) and an almost decent, despite great attempts at the contrary, version of _The Puppet Masters_ (I was really looking forward to seeing Hollywood’s take on a naked President; the only thing close we’ve seen was _Dave_ in the shower). Sorry, I’ll quit ranting in public now. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/10 "2001-08-05T04:03:43Z")
As far as action movies go (and we can never have too many of these, right?), I’ll vote for the ill-fated _Aliens vs. Predator_ movie. ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/11 "2001-08-05T04:27:44Z")
The greatest movie never made is “Space-Time Donuts” by Rudy Rucker. How could you go wrong with a book with a subtitle “Free drugs, easy sex, no work hassles, some people just don’t know when they’re being oppressed!” I actually tried to buy an option on the book, even without the options secured I pitched the book to Kathryn Bigelow, back when she was working on a script with Wm. Gibson. Apparently due to a dispute with his publisher, the book will never again be released in any form, ever. Still, it is my lifetime goal to put this on the big screen. I still haven’t quite figured out how to do the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle scene, but I sure know how to do the Big Fuck In The Sky With A Penis The Size Of Florida scene. But perhaps I shouldn’t be too disappointed, the first 5 minutes of “Contact” are ripped right out of Space-Time Donuts, as are several significant plot elements. But Contact isn’t .001% of the story that STD is. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/12 "2001-08-05T05:28:31Z")
Oh, and how could I forget - _Spaceballs 2_! ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/13 "2001-08-05T05:43:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KKBattousai \* > \*\*Oh, and how could I forget - _Spaceballs 2_! \*\* ohmygod, please don’t EVER mention Spaceballs around me. I was the script doctor for that movie, and the writer was the most insanely dense woman I ever met. If it were not for me, that movie would never have gotten past the script stage, and I am humbly, profusely, abjectly sorry that it did. ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/14 "2001-08-05T06:15:55Z")
V for Vendetta, by Alan Moore and Dave Loyd. This is a graphic novel just begging to be made into a movie. Watchmen, by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. A realistic examination of what life in the US might have been like if people actually starting dressing up in costumes and fighting crime. No real superheroes, but one very real superman. ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/15 "2001-08-05T09:53:40Z")
“Doctor Detroit 2: The Wrath Of Mom” ---
**Author:** ![FarmerOak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@FarmerOak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarmerOak)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/16 "2001-08-05T10:18:36Z")
I want to see a biopic of R. Buckminster Fuller, the most under-appreciated genius in the history of mankind. ---
**Author:** ![Hodge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Hodge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hodge)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/17 "2001-08-05T12:27:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chas.E \* > **The greatest movie never made is “Space-Time Donuts” by Rudy Rucker. > [snip] > Apparently due to a dispute with his publisher, the book will never again be released in any form, ever.** **Chas** , do you have any more info on this? I’m looking at my copy on the bookshelf right now. Do I have a collector’s item? Anyway, I agree, that it would make a great movie. My vote goes to Stanley Kubrick’s Napolean. Check out this [fascinating article](http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/feature/2000/10/04/napoleon/index.html) in Salon. Cheers, Hodge ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/18 "2001-08-05T12:32:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FarmerOak \* > \*\*I want to see a biopic of R. Buckminster Fuller, the most under-appreciated genius in the history of mankind. \*\* Ditto for Nikola Tesla, the _other_ most under-appreciated genius in the history of mankind. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/19 "2001-08-05T14:31:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chas.E \* > \*\*ohmygod, please don’t EVER mention Spaceballs around me. I was the script doctor for that movie, and the writer was the most insanely dense woman I ever met. If it were not for me, that movie would never have gotten past the script stage, and I am humbly, profusely, abjectly sorry that it did. \*\* Hey wow, really? You didn’t write the novelisation, did you? Because it seriously sucked. I can’t believe they actually described the visual jokes. ---
**Author:** ![therealblaze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@therealblaze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/therealblaze)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915/20 "2001-08-05T15:32:48Z")
Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time book series. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-movie-never-made/74915.md?page=2)