# The Greatest Thread Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 27, 2007, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838 "2007-02-27T03:19:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![4JawChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/f9ae1b/32.png) [@4JawChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4JawChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/21 "2007-02-27T04:18:16Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] I’m glad–nay, _proud_–to say that I’ve posted in the Greatest Thread Ever. To paraphrase the Bard: _But we in it shall be remembered We few, we happy few, we band of Dopers For the Doper today that posts along with me Shall be my brother or sister, be they ne’er so vile, This day shall gentle their condition. And Dopers who are now a-lurking Shall think themselves accursed they did not post And hold their status cheap whilst any speaks Who posted with us in the Greatest Thread Ever._ Adapted from Shakespeare’s _King Henry the Fifth_, IV iii 59-67. [/QUOTE] It is exciting to take a grain of sand, and make a pearl. You will be one of the Early Ones. You will most likely make it on the T-Shirt Iron-On. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/22 "2007-02-27T04:24:39Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] No, this is not The Greatest Thread Ever. This a thread about The Greatest Thread Ever. The actual Greatest Thread Ever would have an open bar and buffet; five seperate soundstages; helicopters; celebrity guest appearances; a private screening room; monkeys; car chases; gratuitous sex scenes; pool and sauna privileges; explosions; an ocean view; cheerleaders; genuine leather upholstery; and fire trucks. [/QUOTE] …and free pickles. ---
**Author:** ![4JawChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/f9ae1b/32.png) [@4JawChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4JawChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/23 "2007-02-27T04:25:22Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] No, this is not The Greatest Thread Ever. This a thread about The Greatest Thread Ever. The actual Greatest Thread Ever would have an open bar and buffet; five seperate soundstages; helicopters; celebrity guest appearances; a private screening room; monkeys; car chases; gratuitous sex scenes; pool and sauna privileges; explosions; an ocean view; cheerleaders; genuine leather upholstery; and fire trucks. [/QUOTE] You do realize that as an early poster to this, that the things you require WILL happen, one way or another. Maybe 10 years from now, but they will happen. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/24 "2007-02-27T04:27:31Z")
This is not the Greatest Thread Ever. No. This is just a tribute. A-Fliggo giggoo, fliggoo giggoo… ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/25 "2007-02-27T04:31:02Z")
Somebody told me I could find pickles in here? Looking for the pickle man, haven’t seen him since I worked the Ren fair. Hmm, he seems to have left. I’m going to go take a nap, wake me when someone gets some pickles, wouldja?. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/26 "2007-02-27T04:31:12Z")
I dont see what’s so fucking great about it. Sorry, I am in a :mad: now. Dont mean to be a Negative Nancy. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/27 "2007-02-27T04:32:40Z")
I hate to tell you all, but----this is not the greatest thread in the world, This is just a tribute. You gotta believe it, And I wish you were there, Just a matter of opinion. Rigga do do ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/28 "2007-02-27T04:32:56Z")
There once was a thread, a tiny little thread that never knew what to do. Then one fine day **crinz** came along and said you too shall be great. Long Time Lurker declared it done, and yet it had not yet started. Next came the pickles, many many pickles, {I did not want a pickle; I just wanted to ride my motorsicle.} The plea went out, oh where oh where has Cecil gone, And Spoons went bardrific, gee that was terrific. Jim wandered by and realized that no thread could be complete without a reference to Middle-Earth and a very dated Monty Python joke or three. So here is to never expecting Balrog Wings and Scotty Beam me up, there is no intelligent life in this thread. 😉 Jim {Was I suppose to make any sense or was free form riffs acceptable?} ---
**Author:** ![4JawChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/f9ae1b/32.png) [@4JawChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4JawChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/29 "2007-02-27T04:33:51Z")
[QUOTE=Hung Mung] This is not the Greatest Thread Ever. No. This is just a tribute. A-Fliggo giggoo, fliggoo giggoo… [/QUOTE] Believe it or not, this is not a Tribute to Tenacious D’s Tribute. I need help. I am exhausted from the constant attention this thread requires. It’s been almost 2 hours. Would someone please grab the baton, and, when exhausted, pass it on? ---
**Author:** ![4JawChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/f9ae1b/32.png) [@4JawChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4JawChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/30 "2007-02-27T04:38:18Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] There once was a thread, a tiny little thread that never knew what to do. Then one fine day **crinz** came along and said you too shall be great. Long Time Lurker declared it done, and yet it had not yet started. Next came the pickles, many many pickles, {I did not want a pickle; I just wanted to ride my motorsicle.} The plea went out, oh where oh where has Cecil gone, And Spoons went bardrific, gee that was terrific. Jim wandered by and realized that no thread could be complete without a reference to Middle-Earth and a very dated Monty Python joke or three. So here is to never expecting Balrog Wings and Scotty Beam me up, there is no intelligent life in this thread. 😉 Jim {Was I suppose to make any sense or was free form riffs acceptable?} [/QUOTE] There are ANY clear rules to The Greatest Thread Ever? NO!!! ---
**Author:** ![4JawChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/f9ae1b/32.png) [@4JawChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4JawChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/31 "2007-02-27T04:42:29Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] I dont see what’s so fucking great about it. Sorry, I am in a :mad: now. Dont mean to be a Negative Nancy. [/QUOTE] How could it be The Greatest Thread Ever if your ANGER was excluded? You’re early, my friend. Your post will live forever. You’re a part of this. That’s what’s so fucking great about it. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/32 "2007-02-27T04:45:24Z")
[QUOTE=Hung Mung] This is not the Greatest Thread Ever. No. This is just a tribute. A-Fliggo giggoo, fliggoo giggoo… [/QUOTE] Rats! If I hadn’t previewed about 10 times, I would have beat you! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/33 "2007-02-27T04:47:01Z")
[QUOTE=crinz83] There are ANY clear rules to The Greatest Thread Ever? NO!!! [/QUOTE] Ah, so is it a CalvinThread? If so then Rule #1: Free pickles. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/34 "2007-02-27T04:47:06Z")
I don’t like pickles, nor have I seen them at movie theaters. _chiming in late_ ---
**Author:** ![4JawChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/f9ae1b/32.png) [@4JawChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4JawChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/35 "2007-02-27T04:51:14Z")
[QUOTE=garygnu] Ah, so is it a CalvinThread? If so then Rule #1: Free pickles. [/QUOTE] So, then it is… the first rule: FREE PICKLES. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/36 "2007-02-27T04:52:23Z")
Well shit. I guess I could sell them on the Free Pickle Black Market… ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/37 "2007-02-27T05:00:53Z")
Damn, people beat me to the Tribute reference. I guess I’ll just run with another Shakespearean tribute: But soft, what words from yonder posting breaks it is The Thread and crinz83 is the OP. arise, the dope, and post this glorious thread, which is already filled with pickels green be not a troll, since these are bann’d; their vill’nous trolling naught but sick and poor. and none but fools would post it; write true words! it is my best, O, it is The Thread! Hey, not nearly as good as the first one, but it’s my first time paraphrasing the Bard for the benefit of the dope, plus I only finished that part of the soliloquy because I liked the first few lines I came up with :dubious: well i guess it’s immortalized in the Greatest Thread Ever now 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/38 "2007-02-27T05:03:16Z")
Not just any monkeys. Monkey butlers. You can’t have the greatest thread ever without monkey butlers. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/39 "2007-02-27T05:04:27Z")
I would cheer up if I had a monkey butler. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/40 "2007-02-27T05:07:44Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > …there is no intelligent life in this thread. Ah, but there is. To be the Greatest Thread Ever, it must be classy, and Shakespeare–a mark of intelligence, as I’m sure you’ll agree–classes anything up. To wit: _All the Dope’s a stage, And all the posters merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one poster in his or her time plays many parts, Which fall into seven ages. At first the Newbie, Who signed up to right another’s wrong. And then the Whining Poster, with his Google And obscure site references, posting like mad Trying for belief. And then the occasional user, Who has seen the debates, many times before, Over Christianity and Bush. Then a true Doper, Full of Death Rays and Hi Opals and Og, Not so jealous of post counts, reasoned and quick at cites, Seeking the cite’s reputation as his or her own Even in the GD forum. And then the Veteran, In been-there-done-that attitude with years of experience, With eyes severe and memory of everything, Full of “see this old thread” and “did that last year”; And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts Into the lean and slipper’d Ninety-Niner, With (we like to think) spectacles on nose, Their high post count, well saved, show a world Of experience here; and their experienced voices, At times turn again toward childish treble, yet speak Across the years. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and bannable offenses, Sans reason, sans logic, sans taste, sans everything._ Adapted from Shakespeare’s _As You Like It_, II vii 139-166 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838.md?page=3)