# The Greatest Thread Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 27, 2007, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838 "2007-02-27T03:19:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![4JawChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/f9ae1b/32.png) [@4JawChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4JawChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/41 "2007-02-27T05:12:04Z")
I now bow out. The Greatest Thread Ever will live, or die with you. I will be back if it makes the 500 post mark. It most likely will not. It is the Sea Turtle that hatches, and struggles to reach the ocean. Be not sad if it does not live on, for it is only one of the many. The actual Greatest Thread Ever will eventually emerge. 1. CRINZ ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/42 "2007-02-27T05:14:36Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] I would cheer up if I had a monkey butler. [/QUOTE] Can I interest you in a monkey butler carrying a pickle? I hear **OpalCat** has some to sell on the Black Pickle Market (though who would buy a black pickle is beyond me.) ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/43 "2007-02-27T05:21:46Z")
Soulis had the same cauld grue as twice that day afore, an’ it was borne in upon him what folk said, that Janet was deid lang syne, an’ this was a bogle in her claycauld flesh. He drew back a \*pickle \*and he scanned her narrowly. She was tramp-trampin’ in the cla’es, croonin’ to hersel’; and eh! Gude guide us, but it was a fearsome face. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/44 "2007-02-27T05:24:06Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Can I interest you in a monkey butler carrying a pickle? I hear **OpalCat** has some to sell on the Black Pickle Market (though who would buy a black pickle is beyond me.) [/QUOTE] I like pickles, but if it’s black, then I can tell you where to stick it. Well, what about pie? The greatest thread ever MUST have pie. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/45 "2007-02-27T05:29:56Z")
I’m kinda hungry and pickles sound pretty good right now. What kind of pie would the Best Thread Ever have? I won the lottery. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/46 "2007-02-27T05:30:55Z")
Monkey butlers serving pickle-merange pie. Mmmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/47 "2007-02-27T05:33:24Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] I don’t like pickles, nor have I seen them at movie theaters. _chiming in late_ [/QUOTE] Really? When I visited the US last year, I went to a few movie theatres when it was bad weather and there were huge pickle jars there. At first I thought it was a joke, but I was assured that it wasn’t. It amused me no end anyways 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/48 "2007-02-27T05:37:41Z")
[QUOTE=crinz83] I now bow out. The Greatest Thread Ever will live, or die with you. [/QUOTE] Nay, sirrah! I prithee, stand and watch as the thread grows! _Th’art no Doper if thou believest that the thread will not grow Is’t not already long beyond thine first expectations? Look at it–already a fine root, a strong stalk, a flowering. Yea, all plants in their time must die. But this, not yet– Lo, still it flowers–see the references to the pickle– This is such stuff as Dope legends are made of. Sure to gain the ranks of Hi Opal and Death Rays And never to sink to the depths of All Your Base. But soft! Thou hast been a poster some time now And must be aware of the life of a thread. I’faith! You have birthed a baby Who now requires your attention. Thus, Crinz, you must return And care for this child thou hast borne Unto the Dope. Feed it, nourish it, give to it, See that it has what it needs to be a true Dope thread And thus to make thee proud, and by extension, To make the Dopers proud too. You have embarked upon a mission, Crinz, To which I wish you Godspeed, but I prithee, do recall That we are Dopers and do not take kindly to those Who would play us for fools, for we are not such. Still, 'tis been pleasant to partake of your view And with that, and a pause, I will bid you adieu._ Adapted from my own thoughts. No Shakespeare was harmed in the writing of this post, although a few iambs were badly hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/49 "2007-02-27T05:38:46Z")
[QUOTE=crinz83] I believe The Greatest Thread Ever will make you laugh, cry, think, love, hate. It will do so many other things. It will be powerful. It will have humility. [/QUOTE] Okay, okay, those are the criteria… I think. Wait! That’s one of them! Wow, that’s easy! We might do this after all! I’m… _touched_ that I can be a small part of this. …Whoa, some humility snuck in there. That’s two. Lessee… three must be… Hi, Opal! Ah, this is overwhelming. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe I’ll do both… YES! Ha ha! Anyone got a tissue, I’ve got something in my eye - _sob!_ Anyhow, I’ve loved the time I’ve spent composing this, but - I hate saying this - it’s time for me to post this. Thank you all for making this possible. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/50 "2007-02-27T05:47:04Z")
I just didn’t want to be left out. I have no monkeys or pickles-- all I can offer is my heart. Oh, and I make good cookies. Shaped like pickle-carrying monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/51 "2007-02-27T05:55:28Z")
[QUOTE=crinz83] There are ANY clear rules to The Greatest Thread Ever? NO!!! [/QUOTE] The first rule of The Greatest Thread Ever is… There is no Greatest Thread Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/52 "2007-02-27T06:04:00Z")
What happened to the free pickles? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/53 "2007-02-27T06:31:06Z")
Rules? In the Greatest Thread Ever? There aren’t any rules in the Greatest Thread Ever! Someone count one-two-three-go. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/54 "2007-02-27T07:00:15Z")
[QUOTE=Inner Stickler] What happened to the free pickles? [/QUOTE] That’s Rule #1. Didn’t you hear? We also have pie monkey butlers, and Shakespeare adaptations. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/55 "2007-02-27T07:00:32Z")
[QUOTE=blondebear] I hate to tell you all, but----this is not the greatest thread in the world, This is just a tribute. You gotta believe it, And I wish you were there, Just a matter of opinion. Rigga do do [/QUOTE] Sweet. Mine has fnords in it, though. Great minds an’ all that. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/56 "2007-02-27T07:02:40Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] I just didn’t want to be left out. I have no monkeys or pickles-- all I can offer is my heart. Oh, and I make good cookies. Shaped like pickle-carrying monkeys. [/QUOTE] I love you. I swear to god I do. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/57 "2007-02-27T07:15:58Z")
[QUOTE=Hung Mung] I love you. I swear to god I do. [/QUOTE] Are you just looking at things in the thread and saying you love them? :dubious: I mean, do you really love me or are you just saying that because you saw me? ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/58 "2007-02-27T07:41:46Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] Are you just looking at things in the thread and saying you love them? :dubious: I mean, do you really love me or are you just saying that because you saw me? [/QUOTE] Actually, that was more of a Donnie Baker/Bob and Tom Show thing. As for posting twice in a row, I got a bit distracted. Sorry for any freakiness. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/59 "2007-02-27T07:52:26Z")
This thread is. ---
**Author:** ![Randy\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee7513/32.png) [@Randy\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/60 "2007-02-27T08:02:47Z")
The subject line immediately made me think of the Onion article: [Amazing New Hyperbolic Chamber Greatest Invention In The History Of Mankind Ever](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30990) What thread can claim the be the greatest without links? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838.md?page=4)