# The Greatest Thread Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 27, 2007, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838 "2007-02-27T03:19:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/81 "2007-02-27T16:27:40Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] And diapers. [/QUOTE] And pickles. Did we mention those? I think those were mentioned only once..for 20 minutes… ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/82 "2007-02-27T16:28:51Z")
Has anyone contacted the Pickle Family Circus about this thread? Problem is, they have no monkeys or butlers to contribute. So screw 'em. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/83 "2007-02-27T17:23:37Z")
[QUOTE=Hung Mung] Sweet. Mine has fnords in it, though. Great minds an’ all that. [/QUOTE] A while ago I thought my parrot was dead–turns out he was just pinin’ for the fnords, though. I woke him up with a pickle right across his little feathery nugget. Then he bit me. Ow. Mmmm, pickles. My daughter brought me marinated garlic olives from the Olive Pit in Corning–those are pickled enough to qualify–and I have home made pickled beans in my pantry. Now that’s some good pickle action I tellya! ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/84 "2007-02-27T19:38:01Z")
[QUOTE=Dead Cat] Like I could say I’m King of Switzerland - but I’m not really. [/QUOTE] Switzerland has no king. If I was you, posting in the greatest thread ever, I would claim to be the Emir of Swat. Tris ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/85 "2007-02-27T19:40:44Z")
Are we assigning tittles now? I want to be the Duke of Funk. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/86 "2007-02-27T19:57:52Z")
[QUOTE=Kotick] You get pickles at the movies!? Holy cow! Over here we don’t get anything but frisked when going to the movies. If the find even as much as a chewing gum they go for the whole body cavity search thing. [/QUOTE] Somehow, the words “pickles” and “whole body cavity search” in the same sentence make me cringe. And if you’d really like to enjoy **brewha** ’s contribution, try singing it to the tune of “Hernando’s Hideway.” ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/87 "2007-02-27T20:12:15Z")
In my attempt to be artsy, I purposely forced everyone to contemplate the meaning of the phrase " Who is woods these are I think I know". I was trying to draw a comparison to a person actually being the woods instead of being _in_ a woods. Wrap your mind around that! [sub] or I don’t know the difference between who’s and whose grrrr.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/88 "2007-02-27T20:19:42Z")
[QUOTE=threnodyangelfire] Really? When I visited the US last year, I went to a few movie theatres when it was bad weather and there were huge pickle jars there. At first I thought it was a joke, but I was assured that it wasn’t. It amused me no end anyways 😛 [/QUOTE] Maybe it was a regional thing. I’ve never seen it. Most movie theaters I have been to (except the fancier ones that have pizza and stuff) just have popcorn, nachos, hotdogs, and candy. Some have big pretzels, too. I wish they didn’t have hotdogs, though, because I’m sorry, but that is just a gross smell and when you’re watching a movie and the guy behind you is eating a hotdog… just…eww. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/89 "2007-02-27T22:28:56Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Are we assigning tittles now? I want to be the Duke of Funk. [/QUOTE] Well, can assigning jots be far behind? ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/90 "2007-02-27T22:49:20Z")
**crinz83** , wrote a thread and said that this was the greatest thread ever. I wrote him back a post and told him it was not the Greatest Thread ever because he hadn’t said anything at all about: \*Trains, or trucks, or Mama, or prison, or gettin’ drunk. Well, a Doper wrote back a post and after readin’ it I realized that my friend had writtten to Greatest Post Ever. Best post goes like this here… I was drunk the day my mom got outta prison And I went to pick her up in the rain…\* Can we all sing the verse together? Sgt Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/91 "2007-02-27T23:22:04Z")
**brewha** , you’re supposed to adapt the poetry to the forums. See: Whose threads these are I think I know. His house is in Chicago though. He does not bother stopping here To watch the dopers blather so. The little mods must think it queer To post without a spell-check near With in-jokes and puns that make us ache, Can you believe they volunteer? They give their moderator tags a shake To tell you of a rules mistake. They keep their watch over the sheep Who pine for pickles and birthday cake. The forums are civil, nice and cheap, But I have promised not to weep, And postcounts to pad before I sleep, And postcounts to pad before I sleep. (Only a little bit tortured.) ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/92 "2007-02-28T00:06:12Z")
\*\*garygnu \*\*, I applaude your cleverness - nicely done! Sadly, I haven’t the gift of wit - only the gift of brain sludge. ---
**Author:** ![4JawChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/f9ae1b/32.png) [@4JawChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4JawChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/93 "2007-02-28T02:19:48Z")
The Greatest Thread Ever must include one BUMP. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/94 "2007-02-28T04:49:21Z")
[QUOTE=crinz83] I believe The Greatest Thread Ever will make you laugh, cry, think, love, hate. CRINZ [/QUOTE] Laugh: Why did the snail take off his shell? He was feeling a little SLUGGISH! Cry: Somewhere right now, somebody is dying. Think: What if this is all a dream, and our dreams are reality? Love: You’re beautiful and nothing can change that. Hate: I dislike everything you represent. It is done! ---
**Author:** ![Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Long_Time_Lurker)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/95 "2007-02-28T05:39:27Z")
[QUOTE=Amazon Floozy Goddess] It is done! [/QUOTE] Blasphemy. This thread was done in post 4. Mods, please delete all subsequent posts and lock this thread. People are finger painting all over my Mona Lisa. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/96 "2007-02-28T05:43:34Z")
[QUOTE=Amazon Floozy Goddess] Think: What if this is all a dream, and our dreams are reality? [/QUOTE] So I’ve actually been skinny dipping in a pool of custard with Jessica Simpson while Rage Against The Machine played a show in Carthage? w00t! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/97 "2007-02-28T05:57:06Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] Are you just looking at things in the thread and saying you love them? I mean, do you really love me or are you just saying that because you saw me? [/QUOTE] **I LOVE DIOSA BELLISSIMA!!!** \* \*or LAMP. Take your pick. You can’t have a pickle thread without **Olives**! But what is this nonsense about pickles at movie theatres? I am a born and bred Michigander and never heard of such a thing in my life. If it were true and not a horrible urban legend, however, I am certain the pickles would cost $10 a piece and you would not be permitted to smuggle in your own pickles. Also may I contribute by being the irritating n00b who asks, "WTF do you mean by the ‘‘Tribute’’ reference? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/98 "2007-02-28T06:15:46Z")
[QUOTE=olivesmarch4th] Also may I contribute by being the irritating n00b who asks, "WTF do you mean by the ‘‘Tribute’’ reference? 😕 [/QUOTE] The ‘signature’ song of [Tenacious D](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribute_%28song%29). ---
**Author:** ![4JawChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/f9ae1b/32.png) [@4JawChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4JawChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/99 "2007-02-28T06:26:44Z")
BTW, if you love pickles, peal and very thinly slice a bunch of cucumbers. Put in a bowl and pour a TON of salt on them. Throw in the fridge for a few hours. Rinse the crap out of them, but don’t squeeze them. Add Italian dressing, and tomatoes, if you like. The cucumbers are almost like pickles. The Greatest Cucumber Salad Ever, in The Greatest Thread Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838/100 "2007-02-28T06:27:56Z")
> [@](#): > > The ‘signature’ song of Tenacious D. That is the greatest thing I have ever heard. Thank you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-greatest-thread-ever/393838.md?page=6)