# The grossest thing that can happen while pooping **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 6, 2007, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002 "2007-06-06T16:32:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/41 "2007-06-07T00:44:40Z")
Well, evidently I can never complain about blasting semi-liquid fecal matter resembling speckled mustard/fetid turkey gravy out of my rear like a super-soaker on over-drive. Sometimes, looking down afterwards, I’m reminded of the lava scenes in “One Million Years BC”. again ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/42 "2007-06-07T00:46:49Z")
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: That’s it, I’m having a salad tonight… and for the rest of the week. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/43 "2007-06-07T00:55:16Z")
Being born. We delivered a baby who was so meconium covered, he looked like a little swamp monster. We suctioned him on the perineum before he could take his first breath so he didn’t aspirate his own poop. Sometimes I miss L&D. Sometimes I don’t. Cyn, OB/GYN RN ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/44 "2007-06-07T01:04:37Z")
> [@](#): > > We delivered a baby who was so meconium covered, he looked like a little swamp monster. We suctioned him on the perineum before he could take his first breath so he didn’t aspirate his own poop. > Sometimes I miss L&D. Well, meconium isn’t exactly poop. As I explained to a gun-loving friend, “Meconium is the Cosmolene the Human Digestive System comes packed in.” It’s not a bad description – it’s thick and dark and sticky, and I remember when MilliCal produced her first sample. Certainly capable of interfering with a fresh and new set of respiratory organs. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/45 "2007-06-07T01:38:20Z")
Tubgirl ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/46 "2007-06-07T02:41:28Z")
If ya got a double-ended problem, the best thing is to get into the tub in a crawling position, strip as best you can, & let fly as needed. Cleanup is pretty easy if you’ve got a shower in the same tub. Yes, this is the voice of experience talking. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/47 "2007-06-07T02:52:19Z")
[QUOTE=Yookeroo] Tubgirl [/QUOTE] Urgh. You can never unclick. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/48 "2007-06-07T02:59:03Z")
[QUOTE=Hung Mung] Urgh. You can never unclick. [/QUOTE] Sorry about that. I assumed that everyone knew about that one. Stupid of me. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/49 "2007-06-07T03:09:06Z")
[QUOTE=LSLGuy] If ya got a double-ended problem, the best thing is to get into the tub in a crawling position, strip as best you can, & let fly as needed. Cleanup is pretty easy if you’ve got a shower in the same tub. Yes, this is the voice of experience talking. [/QUOTE] Um…what about the chunks? They’ll just slide through the drain? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/50 "2007-06-07T03:22:28Z")
[QUOTE=monstro] Um…what about the chunks? They’ll just slide through the drain? [/QUOTE] Well if you use your toes… ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/51 "2007-06-07T03:36:43Z")
[QUOTE=Yookeroo] Sorry about that. I assumed that everyone knew about that one. Stupid of me. [/QUOTE] Oh, I knew. My God, do I ever know. It’s definitely not your fault. I remember reading somewhere that the substance erupting from her is actually orange juice. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/52 "2007-06-07T04:16:52Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Well if you use your toes… [/QUOTE] …or a straw. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/53 "2007-06-07T05:12:27Z")
The grossest thing that can happen? Realizing that all that crap was _inside you_. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/54 "2007-06-07T05:49:59Z")
[QUOTE=Manatee] …or a straw. [/QUOTE] Wait a minute. It’s the soup that eats like a meal. You’ll definitely need a fork. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/55 "2007-06-07T06:07:03Z")
[QUOTE=Kozmik] The grossest thing that can happen? Realizing that all that crap was _inside you_. :eek: [/QUOTE] And that that’s what your insides smell like. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/56 "2007-06-07T06:14:41Z")
…you feel sunflower seed hulls scoring your anus. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/57 "2007-06-07T06:19:42Z")
I have never even imagined half of this stuff. How the hell am I supposed to sleep, now? This is way more scary than zombies. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/58 "2007-06-07T06:42:27Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier] I have never even imagined half of this stuff. How the hell am I supposed to sleep, now? This is way more scary than zombies. [/QUOTE] Zombies with explosive diarrhoea? ---
**Author:** ![Freezair\_SilverEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@Freezair\_SilverEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freezair_SilverEye)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/59 "2007-06-07T07:01:39Z")
Of course I read a thread like this right before going to bed. In comparison, the most disgusting thing that’s ever happened to me was just the usual case of sudden diarrhea halfway in the middle of a two-mile walk with no restrooms nearby. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002/60 "2007-06-07T08:21:30Z")
I posted this previously before in the haiku thread, but I work in a hospital and this admitting diagnosis inspired a haiku: Sir, there’s a problem Pooping in the urinal Is frowned upon here Ailment: passing stool via penis [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-grossest-thing-that-can-happen-while-pooping/407002.md?page=4)