# The Guardian nails it: Childless at 52: How sweet it would be to be called Dad **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 13, 2016, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658 "2016-08-13T08:34:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2016, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/161 "2016-09-09T09:30:39Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > I guess it’s a matter of perspective. I’m 57. No wife, no kids. but I have friends. And hobbies. And the hobbies come with more friends. > > I feel bad when parents ask me what I did on the weekend. Last weekend I went out with 3 different groups of friends, 2 events, 3 dinners. I rode my motorcycle for hours on end. I went to bed when I wanted and slept late. There weren’t enough hours in the day to spend relaxing. > > Single ROCKS. Almost word for word, this could have been written by me. One year younger, at 52, but otherwise spot on. I’m planning a 4000 mile, two week motorcycle trip in a few months. My only responsibility? Make reservations for my dogs at the kennel. Single and loving it! ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2016, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/162 "2016-09-09T13:58:14Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > I guess it’s a matter of perspective. I’m 57. No wife, no kids. but I have friends. And hobbies. And the hobbies come with more friends. > > I feel bad when parents ask me what I did on the weekend. Last weekend I went out with 3 different groups of friends, 2 events, 3 dinners. I rode my motorcycle for hours on end. I went to bed when I wanted and slept late. There weren’t enough hours in the day to spend relaxing. > > Single ROCKS. These things aren’t impossible when you have children. You basically described my last weekend (except only out with 2 groups of friends, one on Friday night and one on Monday evening, yay long weekends!) right down to the motorcycle riding. Got babysitting for the late nights. One thing you have that I don’t is sleeping late. I sleep until about 8:30AM on the weekends as the boy wakes up at about 7:15 and the wife keeps him occupied for a bit until I drag my butt out of bed. By the time I’m 57, my children will be in their early to mid 20’s. I won’t be slowed down too much by them. Different horses for different courses as my Dad always said 😉 Glad you are happy and I sincerely wish that it remains. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2016, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/163 "2016-09-09T14:02:22Z")
> [@Skypist](#): > > Just the title of this thread - “The Guardian nails it” - seems to indicate that the OP thinks the article’s author is correct to feel depressed about not having had children. > > The article’s author may be sincere about his feelings, but this kind of thing gets published, IMO, because the majority of people who read it will be parents and will feel sorry for the pathetic creature who never had kids. If there is some “projection” going on here, it isn’t on the part of the author of the article! 😃 You are asserting, without a shred of proof, all sorts of motives to others that are not actually present in the article itself. As for “the Guardian nails it” - you are discounting the possibility that the OP simply happens to feel the same way as the author. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2016, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/164 "2016-09-09T19:24:22Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > If there is some “projection” going on here, it isn’t on the part of the author of the article! 😃 > > You are asserting, without a shred of proof, all sorts of motives to others that are not actually present in the article itself. > > As for “the Guardian nails it” - you are discounting the possibility that the OP simply happens to feel the same way as the author. Yes - I read it as simply saying that the author has expressed well the feelings of the subset of men who are sad about not having children. There’s no need to jump from that to it being a judgment on people who don’t have kids and are quite happy with it. This thread is not about them. Given that this thread is about someone expressing their personal grief abut something, and wondering if others feel that way (it’s expressed in those exact words in the article), it’s a little tasteless that half the posts are “you’re unhappy? Well, I’m ecstatic! Hahaha!” What’s next, popping into a thread about bereavement to boast that their loved ones are still alive? Waving their intact limbs in front of amputees? Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2016, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/165 "2016-09-09T21:43:46Z")
> [@Whiskey\_Dickens](#): > > Different horses for different courses as my Dad always said 😉 Glad you are happy and I sincerely wish that it remains. Absolutely. I’m just gobsmacked when people make being single sound like hell on Earth. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2016, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/166 "2016-09-09T21:47:34Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > Almost word for word, this could have been written by me. One year younger, at 52, but otherwise spot on. > > I’m planning a 4000 mile, two week motorcycle trip in a few months. My only responsibility? Make reservations for my dogs at the kennel. > > Single and loving it! if I could just get my flight medical cleared… I have to scrounge up another pilot to go flying. ---
**Author:** ![moojja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@moojja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moojja)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2016, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/167 "2016-09-09T22:18:03Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > Absolutely. I’m just gobsmacked when people make being single sound like hell on Earth. But is infertility or loneliness such a hard thing for you to understand. There’s such a lack of empathy here. It’s as if someone is complaining about abusive parents, and have other people say since they’re happy with their parents, so why are those other people complaining. It’s great that you like being single, I hate it. I open this thread because I thought it was for all of the miserable people to commiserate with each other. Not for a lot of happy single people being smug about how happy they are. Thanks you for pointing out not only have I failed at being in a relationship but I also failed at being single too. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2016, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/168 "2016-09-10T05:40:38Z")
This just strikes me as such a weird thing for people to be at odds about. Some people have kids, and love it. Some people have kids, and hate it. Some people don’t have kids, and hate it. Some people don’t have kids, and love it. And there is an entire spectrum of ambiguous feelings for others. It’s really that simple. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2016, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/169 "2016-09-10T07:19:03Z")
> [@moojja](#): > > But is infertility or loneliness such a hard thing for you to understand. when you factor in adoption then yes it is hard to understand. It’s not like it’s hard to find a group of kids to interact with if that’s your goal in life. There’s a relationship between empathy and the effort put into it. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2016, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/170 "2016-09-10T07:51:54Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > when you factor in adoption then yes it is hard to understand. It’s not like it’s hard to find a group of kids to interact with if that’s your goal in life. There’s a relationship between empathy and the effort put into it. Adoption is extremely difficult, in the UK, even for a couple. A single man in his fifties is just not going to be able to adopt a child. Not even a disabled older child. Not even a kid from abroad. And interacting with other people’s kids now and then is also not the same as having your own kid, not even close. And the man in the Guardian article does do that, so he does put in the “effort” you reckon he needs to in order to deserve your empathy. Wanting to have your own kid is not some weird, out-of-the-ordinary longing for something that hardly anyone does - it’s not like he’s mourning not having walked on the moon - and people shouldn’t be castigated for feeling that way. Especially not on a thread that is explicitly about feeling sad about not having kids. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2016, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658/171 "2016-09-10T15:34:54Z")
Og forfend that a man have an emotion, let alone express it! And as for writing about it… well the fool clearly needs help. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guardian-nails-it-childless-at-52-how-sweet-it-would-be-to-be-called-dad/762658.md?page=8)