# The "Guess What's In the Box" Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 7, 2002, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764 "2002-05-07T19:29:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/1 "2002-05-07T19:29:58Z")
Over in **this thread** : [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=113635](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=113635), **MagicalSilverKey** has gone off on a quest to find what’s inside a mysterious box. While we’re waiting for him to come back, I thought it’d be fun to guess exactly what’s in that thing. There is no prize, but won’t you feel good for guessing right? My prediction: old laundry. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/2 "2002-05-07T19:55:08Z")
Oooh! Can I be The Lovely Carol Merrill? ---
**Author:** ![Barrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/54ee81/32.png) [@Barrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/3 "2002-05-07T23:57:42Z")
If it says pineapples, then it’s filled with pineapples, by God. No…everybody knows that’s not true. My guess: eggs. But if it’s a severed head, I’m going to be very upset. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/4 "2002-05-08T05:53:09Z")
Schroedinger’s cat. ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/5 "2002-05-08T07:00:38Z")
Darn, the OP already mentioned _Se7en_. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/6 "2002-05-08T07:20:04Z")
Nothing! Nothing is in the box! You so stupahd! (Anyone else like “UHF”? :D) Actually, after reading that thread I think inside the box is **Billy Rubin** holding a brick. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/7 "2002-05-08T07:54:15Z")
I think it’s one of the SDMB White Elephant packages gone astray. ---
**Author:** ![Dieter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dieter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dieter)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/8 "2002-05-08T09:55:33Z")
My first wife. ---
**Author:** ![Dieter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dieter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dieter)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/9 "2002-05-08T09:56:38Z")
Opps. Said too much. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/10 "2002-05-08T11:06:19Z")
Atoms. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/11 "2002-05-08T11:35:27Z")
Jimmy Hoffa. ---
**Author:** ![Pantology](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@Pantology](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantology)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/12 "2002-05-08T14:13:56Z")
Pain. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/13 "2002-05-24T02:20:41Z")
Hey!!! I have been so damn busy lately, I have not been able to check in to the boards for a while. So, y’all wanna know what’s in **The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road®,** eh? First off, I should let you know that TMBBTSOTR® still exists! I thought it was gone, but apparently, after over a year of sitting idle in the exact same spot, it decided to go for a hike. It now rests about 100 yards east of the original spot it had been. It is weatherbeaten, sun-bleached, wrinkled, and squashed up against some heavy brush in a small ditch. The overgrowth camoflages about half of it. It could possibly still have something inside, although it seems unlikely. I have not yet made any attempt to actually approach / examine it, on foot. As for TMBBTSOTR JR®, I won’t have any need to be travelling down that road anymore, because my friend who lived in that direction, has moved. Disclaimer: **The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road®,** and **The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road Junior®,** do not enable user to fly. Do not eat 2 hours prior to opening **The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road®,** or **The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road® Junior,** as contents may cause nausea and vomiting and abdominal distention. Do not use **The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road®** or **The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road® Junior,** if you are taking an MOAI inhibitor or have asthma. Adverse side affects in males may include permanent erection, priapism, and / or Peter North syndrome. In females, **The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road®,** and **The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road® Junior,** may induce early menopause, psychic orgasms, and tantric delusion. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/14 "2002-05-24T03:38:25Z")
Well, BlackKnight stole my answer (damn you), so I’m going to guess… uhm… another box? And inside that box… another box? And so on, and so on, for eternity, until you find a subatomic door to another universe where you awaken to find yourself inside a box… after leaving that box, you find yourself inside another box… Man, that’s a creepy though. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/15 "2002-05-24T03:57:57Z")
Dangit, I’ll be back in Michigan in 3 months. If you and the box can wait that long, I’ll come out to Mishawaka and open the thing myself. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/16 "2002-05-24T11:51:04Z")
“It’s just a piece of string, Patrick.” “Yes, but a _Secret_ piece of string, SpongeBob!” ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/17 "2002-05-25T22:48:40Z")
I vote for Jack Dean Tyler’s foreskin. That would explain sooooo much… ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/18 "2002-05-26T03:14:39Z")
[Go here to learn what was in the box.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=116969) ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guess-whats-in-the-box-thread/107764/19 "2002-05-26T20:00:18Z")
One mysterious vat of goat semen?