# The guy in the next cubicle just farted **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 15, 2007, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813 "2007-10-15T18:06:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/1 "2007-10-15T18:06:39Z")
Now my cube stinks. :mad: Fuck! ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/2 "2007-10-15T18:15:34Z")
Dude, this so belongs in the Pit. I hate workplace farters. :mad: Did he rip, or was it silent but deadly? ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/3 "2007-10-15T18:16:57Z")
Did he lean to the left or to the right? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/4 "2007-10-15T18:21:05Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Dude, this so belongs in the Pit. I hate workplace farters. :mad: Did he rip, or was it silent but deadly? [/QUOTE] He just let it rip. I think there was some lady in there with him. He didn’t even excuse himself. WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/5 "2007-10-15T18:22:09Z")
[QUOTE=racer72] Did he lean to the left or to the right? [/QUOTE] I presume he leaned to the right. If we were south of the equator he would lean left. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/6 "2007-10-15T18:24:14Z")
Clearly, you need to install some 1945-vintage London air raid sirens, and turn them on whenever that dude lights one up. That’ll teach him. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/7 "2007-10-15T18:28:11Z")
Well, now that you’ve missed your chance, what could you have said? “Please rise for the singing of the Irish national anthem.” (Yosemite Sam) Sounds like thunder! Smells like lightning hit the shithouse!" ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/8 "2007-10-15T18:28:27Z")
Really, as long as he’s not on your computer while you’re in a meeting, I think you’re coming out okay here, don’t you? > [@](#): > > He just let it rip. I think there was some lady in there with him. He didn’t even excuse himself. WTF? How do you know it wasn’t her? Sexist! ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/9 "2007-10-15T18:31:12Z")
And here I was complaining that someone has some really yummy smelling country ham that’s making me hungry…sucks to be you… ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/10 "2007-10-15T18:32:15Z")
There he goes again, that ballbag. Gah! Muthafucka! God damn it! I can hear him sniffin’! ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/11 "2007-10-15T18:33:14Z")
Toss a lit match over the cubicle partition and yell “Fire in the hole!” ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/12 "2007-10-15T18:34:39Z")
:: Gag :: ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/13 "2007-10-15T18:35:44Z")
Boys are weird. Honestly, what kind of workplace is it where such emissions are tolerated? ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/14 "2007-10-15T18:35:45Z")
Alternatively, you could find a wave file of Taps and play that every time he does it. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/15 "2007-10-15T18:36:12Z")
You could yell “It smells like vaseline in here!” ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/16 "2007-10-15T18:36:49Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] Boys are weird. Honestly, what kind of workplace is it where such emissions are tolerated? [/QUOTE] Oh, hush. Like you’ve never had to let one out at work before. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/17 "2007-10-15T19:25:18Z")
The lady in the cube next to me cranks 'em out all day long, and usually says nothing. In return? I crank them out all day long, and say nothing. Seems like a good deal, since I have no sense of smell. Also, I keep mine nice and quiet so as not to disturb anyone. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/18 "2007-10-15T19:30:02Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] I presume he leaned to the right. [/QUOTE] Fucking Republicans. **Dung Beetle** , that’s so hot. Chick fight, but with odors instead of claws. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/19 "2007-10-15T19:32:19Z")
Call Plant Maintenance! The ivy is wilting! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813/20 "2007-10-15T19:32:54Z")
[QUOTE=Litoris] And here I was complaining that someone has some really yummy smelling country ham that’s making me hungry…sucks to be you… [/QUOTE] How do you know? Somebody might have had some _for breakfast_. Just sayin. 😉 And why _should_ he excuse himself? Miss Manners says the occasional pootlet should be allowed to pass without comment. Seriously, when you excuse yourself, you bring attention to the fact that you farted. What if they missed it? Do they say, “Huh?” and you say, “Oh, sorry, I just let out a seriously nasty fart. You might want to back up. Could you turn that fan on?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-in-the-next-cubicle-just-farted/422813.md?page=2)