# The guy who felt me up on the subway **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2007, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756 "2007-04-12T04:55:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7bcc69/32.png) [@dart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dart)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/1 "2007-04-12T04:55:45Z")
So, it’s a crowded train, and there’s a feeling like something is touching my ass. No big deal. Probably a purse, right? But that’s an annoying, insistent purse…wait a second…that’s not a purse, it’s a DUDE CUPPING MY ASS WITH HIS HAND. Just kinda riding along, his hand on my ass like he owns the damn thing. I mean, this is the city, and I’m used to being casually stared at by strangers in a way that is more aggressive than a punch in the face, but even those losers usually respect the physical boundaries of my actual ass. Too bad that my direct eye contact with the guy scared him into running off the train, because if I’d had the presence of mind I would have liked to say, “Please stop cupping my ass,” in the middle of the crowded train. Unless he would have gotten off on that later. It’s hard to know. I hate this damn city. Or men. Or both. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/2 "2007-04-12T05:05:36Z")
This happened to me on the bus. Part of the reason I bought my car. I recognize that’s not particularly feasable in NYC. Next time punch him. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/3 "2007-04-12T05:06:40Z")
Was that you? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/4 "2007-04-12T05:07:49Z")
Puts me in mind of the guy on the subway who has his dick out. Right in front of my face. I hit him on the balls with my newspaper. I which I’d had a bat. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/5 "2007-04-12T05:15:34Z")
I never thought I’d say this…I’m grateful to live in a city where public transportation is an afterthought. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/6 "2007-04-12T05:21:58Z")
I probably would have roared “What the HELL are you doing?! Take your hand off my ass, NOW, or lose it!” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/7 "2007-04-12T05:30:28Z")
I had a co-worker tweak my nipple in a bar once (went out for drinks after work). It happened so fast that about all I could think to do was stand there with a dumbfounded expression on my face, thinking, “What the hell just happened here?” I think I’ll just believe that there is a type of karma that will visit spiritual ass-grabbings and nipple-tweakings on idiot bastards like this. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/8 "2007-04-12T05:40:01Z")
That’s sexual battery. You can get up to a year in prison for it, and your name goes on the sexual crimes database. Tell the next guy that in a firm and loud tone of voice. Tris ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/9 "2007-04-12T05:43:26Z")
I’ve heard this is a common problem on the Tokyo subway and that as such, young ladies have taken to arming themselves with stickpins to jab the offender with. I’d try that if I were a woman. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/10 "2007-04-12T05:50:06Z")
Even without hatpins, few people ride subways in their bare feet. Standing on a guy’s instep is a good way to get his attention. (If you are wearing high heels, so much the better.) It also makes it harder for him to escape as you accuse him of sexual battery. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/11 "2007-04-12T09:32:01Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] Even without hatpins, few people ride subways in their bare feet. Standing on a guy’s instep is a good way to get his attention. (If you are wearing high heels, so much the better.) It also makes it harder for him to escape as you accuse him of sexual battery. [/QUOTE] Great minds think alike. This was my first thought when reading the OP. In fact, I actually HAVE stepped on a guy’s foot when he was touching me inappropriately. I didn’t accuse him of sexual battery, but I DID tell him that next time I was gonna remove a piece of his anatomy. ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/12 "2007-04-12T09:57:22Z")
It does happen in Tokyo. The commuter train line that I use to ride to work is the most notorious in the country. These “chikan” (gropers) even form teams to surround a victim at times while prowling trains during the morning and late evening commutes. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/13 "2007-04-12T10:57:09Z")
I have equilibrium problems, see. So sometimes I fall down. Or just move suddenly. Oops! Is that your ribcage on my elbow? So SORRYYYYYY! For some reason, I lose my equilibrium real easy when I’m in the subway and some dude who’s chosen the same pole as me is using my ass to keep himself propped up. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/14 "2007-04-12T12:04:54Z")
[QUOTE=dart] So, it’s a crowded train, and there’s a feeling like something is touching my ass. No big deal. Probably a purse, right? But that’s an annoying, insistent purse…wait a second…that’s not a purse, it’s a DUDE CUPPING MY ASS WITH HIS HAND. Just kinda riding along, his hand on my ass like he owns the damn thing. I mean, this is the city, and I’m used to being casually stared at by strangers in a way that is more aggressive than a punch in the face, but even those losers usually respect the physical boundaries of my actual ass. Too bad that my direct eye contact with the guy scared him into running off the train, because if I’d had the presence of mind I would have liked to say, “Please stop cupping my ass,” in the middle of the crowded train. Unless he would have gotten off on that later. It’s hard to know. I hate this damn city. Or men. Or both. [/QUOTE] As a gentleman, and a guy who’s relatively tall and strong, I’d just like to say that if you’d turned around to that creep, in front of everyone, and stated in a very loud voice… “I DO NOT LIKE HAVING YOU GRAB MY ASS! FUCK OFF!” Believe me, as a guy and as a gentleman, I would have gladly have smashed his face in for you, or at the very least bailed him up for security to arrest him. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/15 "2007-04-12T12:09:16Z")
A quick jab with a key would probably do the trick. Or a nice juicy fart right on his hand. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/16 "2007-04-12T12:29:56Z")
[QUOTE=Boo Boo Foo] As a gentleman, and a guy who’s relatively tall and strong, I’d just like to say that if you’d turned around to that creep, in front of everyone, and stated in a very loud voice… “I DO NOT LIKE HAVING YOU GRAB MY ASS! FUCK OFF!” Believe me, as a guy and as a gentleman, I would have gladly have smashed his face in for you, or at the very least bailed him up for security to arrest him. [/QUOTE] I actually did this on a crowded bus once. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING FEELING MY ASS? FUCK OFF!” The bus driver stopped the bus and threw the guy off. The crowd cheered and a nice guy gave me his seat! ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/17 "2007-04-12T12:30:16Z")
[QUOTE=BobLibDem] A quick jab with a key would probably do the trick. Or a nice juicy fart right on his hand. [/QUOTE] Pffft… you know how many guys would pay for a good looking woman to fart in their hands? ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/18 "2007-04-12T12:30:44Z")
I had an ancient dude feel me up on the subway once. At first I thought it was incidental contact, but then he really grabbed my butt and started rubbing it. I pushed him away, but not very hard, as he seemed like a very old guy who could end up with a fracture if I breathed on him wrong. To my surprise, the guy starting ranting and raving and produced a box cutter. I ran to the other end of the subway car and bailed at the next stop. I couldn’t believe I was running from some antiquated pervert swinging a Home Depot special. That was the last straw for a while, and I had private cars drive me to work for a year or so. I’m back on the subway now, though. If you don’t count the violent perverts, it’s a great way to get to work. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/19 "2007-04-12T12:36:28Z")
**THespos** , jeez! That’s all. Just jeez! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756/20 "2007-04-12T12:38:10Z")
[QUOTE=Amp] Pffft… you know how many guys would pay for a good looking woman to fart in their hands? [/QUOTE] Just hypothetically speaking, how much would you say a gal could charge for such a service? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-guy-who-felt-me-up-on-the-subway/399756.md?page=2)