# The Hags of the Straight Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 13, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460 "2000-05-13T23:00:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/1 "2000-05-13T23:00:33Z")
In a recent thread, a poster stated the following: > [@](#): > > No good looking women wanted to come and let me be their sugardaddy and all the hags got out in force and busted my chops so the thread was a waste of time. Now, I am not sure _which_ ladies this poster was referring to as “hags,” but I was obviously one of them. Upon reviewing the thread, I realized that that I was in very good company. If the ladies who posted are hags, then to be called a hag must be a very high compliment, indeed. So, I hereby found **The Hags of the Straight Dope** , a club devoted to the original Hags of that thread, and any certified Hags who wish to join. I, of course, am the Founder/President/CEO of **The Hags of the Straight Dope** The Hags are divided into four main categories: **The Gorgeous The Beautiful The Cute The Sexy** There are three additional categories: **The Uncategorized** for those Hags who are full members, but must wait until I see a picture before I can categorize them. **The Boy’s Auxiliary** for male Hags. **The Pending** for posters so new to the board that they can not yet be granted full membership in the Hags. The Pending must go through the application process (see below) in order to be considered full members, but once they are accepted, they will have “Original Hag” status. **To Apply for Membership in the Hags of the Straight Dope** : Post to this thread. Explain why you would like to be a member of the Hags, and outline your qualifications. For you to become a certified Hag, I must see a picture of you. Either post a link, or email me privately with a link or a picture. Any information you send to me privately will remain confidential. **If you wish to forfeit your membership** post to this thread or email me privately, and I will take your name off the membership list. **MEMBERSHIP LIST OF THE HAGS OF THE STRAIGHT DOPE** (I apologize in advance for any misspellings or miscapitalizations of usernames) “OH” designates an “Original Hag” **Founder/President/CEO** : Green Bean OH **The Gorgeous** : SwimmingRiddles OH aenea OH Drain Bead OH **The Beautiful** blueslady OH CanadianSue OH Nacho4Sara OH SaxFace OH Ruffian OH h\_thur OH **The Cute** Green Bean OH phouka OH mega the roo OH pepperlandgirl OH **The Sexy** Elthia OH peaches8 OH **The Uncategorized** ultress OH dragonlady OH purplebear OH Rachelle OH Shirley Ujest OH Girlbysea OH TVeblen OH learae OH **The Boy’s Auxiliary** SingleDad OH weirddave OH **The Pending** AmyJohn OH single files OH jesjam901 OH Turpentine OH ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/2 "2000-05-13T23:02:39Z")
HEY, what about me? See picture for proper catagory listing 🙂 [http://www.cwcm.net/tech.html](http://www.cwcm.net/tech.html) ---
**Author:** ![concrete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@concrete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/concrete)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/3 "2000-05-13T23:03:51Z")
All I’m interested in is …who are the Sluts of the Straight Dope ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/4 "2000-05-13T23:08:33Z")
Dear Green Bean, ``` I am becoming interested in joining the boys auxilary category of your organization. Were I to become a member, what should I expect from you the organization and what do you expect from me? What are the perks and privleges of membership? Thank you for your time and consideration. ``` Sincerely, B\_Line12 P.S. I can provide a picture, be that a prerequisate. ---
**Author:** ![Diagonal\_Twin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@Diagonal\_Twin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diagonal_Twin)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/5 "2000-05-13T23:10:12Z")
\*\*The Uncategorized \*\* works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/6 "2000-05-13T23:10:13Z")
Oh my! Sorry techchick! You were written right there on the paper, and I somehow missed you! revised: **The Gorgeous:** SwimmingRiddles OH aenea OH Drain Bead OH techchick68 OH ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/7 "2000-05-13T23:11:55Z")
Ok Green Bean, I tried to send my pic to you email but you didn’t get it. Do we have another alternative on sending it to you? ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/8 "2000-05-13T23:14:31Z")
I blush…me in THAT catagory? WOW, I am honored! hey concrete, I can be your slut if you’d like. I just can’t smoke you though…it’s hazardous to my health. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/9 "2000-05-13T23:14:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Were I to become a member, what should I expect from you the organization and what do you expect from me? What are the perks and privleges of membership? From me, you can expect active and unbiased administration of the club. From the Hags, you can expect to be surrounded by a bevy of beauties. From you, we expect support, respect, and admiration. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/10 "2000-05-13T23:16:53Z")
Ultress, you are a founding member. (This is different than an Original Hag) Thus, you are free to categorize yourself. For the record, the founding members are me, ultress, CanadianSue, and blueslady. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/11 "2000-05-13T23:21:23Z")
Ok Green, maybe you should change the OH for the four founders to the FM for founding members. ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/12 "2000-05-13T23:55:25Z")
Congrats Hags! I’d like to help you all celebrate by inviting you over to my place where you’ll be welcome to cook Swedish meatballs for me and then take turns shaving my back. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2000, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/13 "2000-05-14T00:03:18Z")
This is quite an honor. I am pleased to join SingleDad as the two OH boys auxiliary members. Does this mean that I am considered “one of the hags”? If so, can I hang out with y’all in the locker room and shower? ( I promise to be unobtrusive at first, but I have a feeling my…um…interest…would grow…:D) Thank you for accepting me. I will do my best to be worthy of this great responsibility. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/14 "2000-05-14T00:07:56Z")
What am I, chopped liver? ---
**Author:** ![blueslady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@blueslady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blueslady)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2000, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/15 "2000-05-14T00:10:43Z")
To be included as a founding member (Green Been says I’m _blush_ beautiful!) In such distinguished company…I can only say I am honored. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/16 "2000-05-14T00:12:47Z")
::::hugs Wally::::: You can join me on the Gorgeous catagory as my date 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2000, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/17 "2000-05-14T00:14:26Z")
Wally, you ain’t chopped liver, and you also ain’t an Original Hag. You want in, you submit your application jsut like everyone else. Ultress FM has been switched from **Uncategorized** to **The Beautiful**. Single files OH has been accepted into full membership in the category **The Gorgeous**. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2000, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/18 "2000-05-14T00:18:02Z")
I posted in that thread! But I don’t fit into any of the categories – I may have been “cute” at some point in my life, but at 55, the term no longer applies. Heck, most days, I’d settle for “presentable.” Or “vaguely human-looking.” Can I be Hag Emeritus? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/19 "2000-05-14T00:22:11Z")
> [@](#): > > But I don’t fit into any of the categories – I may have been “cute” at some point in my life, but at 55, the term no longer applies. Heck, most days, I’d settle for “presentable.” Or “vaguely human-looking.” Sorry for the oversight, AuntiePam! How did I miss so many? I’ll be the judge of what kind of Hag you are. Ante up the picture! ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/20 "2000-05-14T00:22:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I posted in that thread! But I don’t fit into any of the categories – I may have been “cute” at some point in my life, but at 55, the term no longer applies. Heck, most days, I’d settle for “presentable.” Or “vaguely human-looking.” > > Can I be Hag Emeritus? > > \*\* Hey hey hey, I can tell from your posts Auntie that you are definitely still in at least the ‘cute’ category, but I think you belong in the ‘beautiful’ category. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460.md?page=2)